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March 01, 2007 09:33 AM
Only three and a half weeks to St. Patrick's Day and we're all revved up. This week you can become an Honorary Master Brewer by taking the "Master the Brew" challenge. We're also offering a 15% discount on all St. Patrick's Day gear - March 8th is the last day to order. Plus, get even more new downloads, new videos, and new ways to celebrate our greatest holiday.

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Paddy staggered home very late after an evening with his drinking buddy, Mick. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Bridget. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. The bottle of "Jameson" in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
 
Managing not to yell, Paddy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Paddy woke up with searing pain in both his head and rump. Bridget sat staring at him from across the room. She said, "Paddy McGuire, ye were drunk again last night, weren't ye?" Paddy said, "Why are ye accusin' me of such a thing?"

"Ah, well," Bridget said, "it could be the open front door; it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs; it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house; it could be yer bloodshot eyes; but mostly, I'm thinkin', it's all those Band-Aids stuck to the hall mirror."

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Irish they were... and drunk for sure and they sat in the comer of the newly refurbished Shamrock Cafe. Across the wall opposite was a huge mirror, fourteen feet long and stretching from floor to ceiling.

Glancing around the room Mack the Knife suddenly spotted their reflection in the mirror.

'JScott, JScott, he whispered. 'Don't look now but there's two fellas over there the image of us!'

'In the name of God, said JScott, spotting the reflection. 'They're wearing identical clothes and everything.'

'They are indeed, said Mack. 'I'm going to buy them a drink.'

But as Mack started to rise from his seat, JScott said, 'Sit down Mack one of them's coming over here!

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