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mcdude
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Re: Shot and a Beer?
quote:
The Knife wrote:
Well when I go to here ->
http://mysite.verizon.net/vze3nm2c/wolfeborooffline/
and click on other forums, the link for Belknap Lakes Forum gets you to the blog here ->
http://www.quicktopic.com/21/H/fTGc3htJSxsB
Which in turn has a link to this place ->
http://www.belknaplakes.com
which does have a link to get you to here. Didn't know if you wanted a more direct route but I thought I'd mention it. Then again perhaps you have more than 1 portal page.
;)
Gotcha....and fixed it. That portal page was created before the belknap lakes forum was inaugurated. Seems some WOfL friends have their knickers in a twist about something Keith has said.....and it was pretty crude IMHO.
<<<Wolfeboro Off-Line>>>
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4/3/2006, 9:16 am
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The Knife
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Re: Shot and a Beer?
quote:
mcdude wrote:
[Gotcha....and fixed it. That portal page was created before the belknap lakes forum was inaugurated. Seems some WOfL friends have their knickers in a twist about something Keith has said.....and it was pretty crude IMHO.
Yup, saw that. I don't know the interpersonal dynamics of the people over there so I can't properly evaluate the whole deal. Seems to me that Keith has a point but should have made it more tactfully. Then again you can tell friends to ... aahhh ..."step off" (continuing a British theme) more readily than strangers. You already know my opinion on how (and whom) gets these things started.
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Real men use 1911 not 911 ! - Mac the Knife
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4/3/2006, 1:55 pm
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mcdude
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Re: Shot and a Beer?
The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in.
The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a *****!"
"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"
"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a ***** fish!"
"Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a *****!"
Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster.
"Father, that's the biggest Son of a ***** I've ever seen."
"Yes, it is a big Son of a *****. What should I do with it?"
"Why, eat it of course. You've never tasted anything as good as Son of a *****!"
Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip.
"Take a look at this big Son of a ***** I caught!"
Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!"
"It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a ***** fish!"
"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a *****?"
Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a ***** for his dinner.
"I'll even clean the Son of a *****", she said.
As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.
"What are you doing Sister?"
"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a ***** for the new Bishop's dinner."
"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"
"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a ***** fish."
“Really? Well, in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and that Son of a ***** can be the main course! Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a *****."
On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal. The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent. The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"
"I caught that Son of a *****!" proclaimed the proud priest.
"And I cleaned the Son of a *****!" exclaimed the Sister.
The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a *****, using a special recipe!"
The new Bishop looked around at each of them. A big smile crept across his face as he said, "You mother ****ers are my kind of people!"
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4/23/2006, 4:50 pm
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The Knife
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Re: Shot and a Beer?
Pretty funny and you know what ... I think the profanity filter made it funnier ! :(
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Real men use 1911 not 911 ! - Mac the Knife
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4/23/2006, 9:05 pm
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mcdude
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LIFE in the 1500s
LIFE IN THE 1500'S
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water
temperature is not just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Here are some facts about the1500s:
These are interesting...
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and
still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so
brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom
today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the
privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the
women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was
so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, do not throw
the baby out with the Bath water..
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It
was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small
animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof when it rained it became slippery, and
sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence, the saying it is
raining cats and dogs.
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real
problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice
clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded
some protection. That is how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the
saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the
winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their
footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened
the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in
the entranceway.
Hence, the saying a thresh hold..
(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung
over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They
ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for
dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over
the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a
while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in
the pot nine days old..
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When
visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign
of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon.. They would cut off a little
to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat..
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused
some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This
happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes
were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf,
the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes
knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road
would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the
kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat
and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a
wake.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to
bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a
bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25
coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they
had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the
corpse, lead it through the coffin, up through the ground, and tie it to a
bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the
graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the
bell. or was considered a ...dead ringer..
And that's the truth...Now , whoever said History was boring ! ! !
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4/24/2006, 7:50 am
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RLW1
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Re: Shot and a Beer?
Never Argue With The Irish
The following is an exchange of correspondence between a customer and Irish Rail:
Gentlemen,
I have been riding trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan ----
Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely,
Larnrod Eireann. ----
Gentlemen,
I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible, Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass. That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years!
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan
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Love the Crystal Clear Lake and Fresh Mountain Air
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4/27/2006, 1:12 pm
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jscott
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Re: Shot and a Beer?
Ah A List Of Drinks I had Posted over at WOFFL ! ENJOY
1957 Chevy
1/2 oz vodka
1 1/2 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur
1/2 oz Grand Marnier® orange liqueur
2 - 4 oz pineapple juice
Add ingredients to a ****tail shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Shake and strain into a ****tail glass. Fill with pineapple juice, and serve.
1964 Car Bomb
2 oz Jim Beam® bourbon whiskey
12 oz Budweiser® lager
Pour the Jim Beam bourbon whiskey into a beer mug filled with Budweiser, and serve.
73 Bus
1 oz gin
1 oz triple sec
1 oz cranberry juice
Mix all three ingredients with ice in a chilled ****tail glass, and serve.
A Clockwork Tangerine
12 oz Sprite® soda
1 packet Kool-Aid® Tangerine mix
1 oz Bacardi® gold rum
1 oz Smirnoff® vodka
Combine all ingredients in a beef pilsner. Stir together, and serve.
A Furlong Too Late
2 oz light rum
4 oz ginger beer
1 twist lemon peel
Pour rum and ginger beer into a highball glass almost filled with ice cubes. Stir well, and garnish with a lemon twist
A Gilligan's Island
1 oz vodka
1 oz peach schnapps
3 oz orange juice
3 oz cranberry juice
Shaken not stirred
A Pimp Named Slickback
1 oz triple sec
1/2 oz white rum
1 oz Rose's® lime juice
1 splash amaretto almond liqueur
Combine all ingredients in a goblet with a sugared rim. Hold up to light and swirl contemplatively.
A Southern Screw
2 oz vodka
2 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur
6 oz Sunny Delight® orange juice
ice
Pour over ice, stir and serve.
Afterburner
1 oz Stolichnaya® vodka
1/2 oz triple sec
1 splash grapefruit juice
fill with cranberry juice
Pour over ice in a ****tail glass.
Agent Orange
1 1/2 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur
1 1/2 oz Jack Daniel's® Tennessee whiskey
8 oz orange juice
Mix in a tall glass. Adjust orange juice to taste.
Bronx
1/4 Dry Gin
1/4 Italian Vermouth
1/4 French Vermouth
1/4 Orange Juice
Shake With Ice and strain into glass
El Diablo
2oz. gold tequila
3/4oz. creame de cassis
1/2oz.
lime juice
ginger ale
Stir tequila and cassis over ice in a chilled glass. Top with ginger ale and garnish with a wedge of lime.
Key Lime Martini
1/2 OZ KEKE BEACH LIQUOR
1/2 OZ STOLI VANIL
SPLASH PINEAPPLE
COAT RIM OF GLASS WITH LIME JUICE AND CRUSHED GRAHAM CRACKER
Lime Rickey
1 1/2 oz. Gin
Juice of 1/2 Lime
Club Soda
Squeeze juice of 1/2 lime over 2 ice cubes in highball glass and drop in lime shell. Add Gin and fill with club soda. Stir gently. (also known as Gin Rickey)Lion Tamer (shooter) ...
Manhatten
1/2 Italian Vermouth
1/2 Rye
Dash of Bitters
Stir With Ice. Strain into glass
Serve With Cherry
Old Fashoned
2 fl oz Bourbon whiskey
1 x Sugar cube, small
1 dsh Angoustora bitters
1 tsp Water
cherry juice and cherry
Place sugar, bitters and water in old fashoned glass. Muddle well. Add whiskey and stir. Add ice cubes and a twist of lemon peel. Garnish with lemon and orange slice, and a cherry. Serve with a swizzle stick.
(option:leave out the lemon and orange slice and add a splash of cherry juice or 2)
Rob Roy
2 1/2 oz Scotch whisky
1 tsp sweet vermouth
1 tsp dry vermouth
Combine the scotch, sweet vermouth and dry vermouth in a mixing glass half-filled with ice cubes. Stir well, strain into a ****tail glass, and garnish with a maraschino cherry or a lemon twist.
Whiskey Sour
Juice of 2 lemons
1 Tsp Sugar
1 jigger(2oz) Whiskey
Shake with Ice strain in to glass
serve with 1/2 orange slice
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GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
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4/28/2006, 11:56 pm
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mcdude
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Re: Shot and a Beer?
Catholic Heart Attack
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital.
As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for his treatment. She asked, "Do you have health insurance?"
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters!
Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
ba da boom
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5/17/2006, 8:15 pm
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jscott
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Re: Shot and a Beer?
Groannnnn.
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GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
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5/17/2006, 10:50 pm
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Re: Shot and a Beer?