missywagner
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Registered: 05-2006
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 Taking the First Step
Taking the First Step
By Missy Wagner
We all get to a certain point in our lives, or up to a certain weight, where we just don’t feel good about the way we look anymore. There are many factors that contribute to the reasons behind unwanted weight gains. I think the reason that I gained weight was a combination of being very depressed about the current state of my relationship with my boyfriend and all the stress that came with it, not to mention the stress of working a job. I was also having panic and anxiety attacks in public situations because I feel like I lost a part of who I was when my boyfriend cheated on me. I was always afraid that I wasn’t good enough and that people were joking and laughing at me. I went to a doctor about my anxiety attacks and they prescribed me an anti-depressant called Paxil. Along with my depression and anxiety came the emotional eating on top of everything else. Since I didn’t find much comfort in my relationship at the time, I turned to food. Food seemed to be the only thing in my life I had control over, I could eat what I wanted, whenever I wanted and the food would never reject me. I was so emotionally drained from all the fighting and yelling going on in my life, I felt so utterly worthless to everyone, including myself. There were even some days where I just wished it would all end and I would die.
I’m sure a lot of people share that similar experience with me, but not everyone that is overweight or obese is that way because of outside factors. For one, having a new baby adds more weight to a person, as well as aging. Congestive heart failure, kidney failure, diabetes, thyroid, brain injury, or even people who have been in a terrible accident can have problems with weight because they are limited to their movements. Many people who are overweight or obese get stereotyped all the time, and are often labeled as fat, lazy slobs. It’s not always the case and I wish that the rest of society wouldn’t be so judgemental and hurtful to an overweight person before they know the full story. I know tons of people who are considered to be overweight who lead a very active lifestyle, but have other medical reasons as to why they have a hard time losing weight, and I wish people wouldn’t be so quick to assume the negative.
Anyways, back to my story. I used to drag myself out of bed every morning and dread looking in that mirror, because what I saw staring back at me horrified me. This isn’t who I am, this isn’t who I used to be and it’s not what I want to be. I was tired of neglecting myself and letting my weight keep getting higher on the scale. When I would go to the doctor, I would always be heavier, my blood pressure and cortisol (stress hormones) would always be through the roof, I could barely make it up the 3 flights of stairs to my apartment anymore and my seatbelt in my car was getting a little too snug for my liking. I was always active as a child, so why did I let myself get like this??
Everything changed when my boyfriend lost his license because of a drunk driving charge. It was basically his wake up call to all his destructive behaviours. He became more attentive and loving towards me and showed me his appreciation instead of taking me for granted. We decided to join a gym together and hire a personal trainer. We just wanted to take better care of ourselves and mend our broken relationship. I started my weight loss journey thinking I couldn’t do it without my boyfriend or my trainer because I felt like I was so far gone into my depression to dig myself out. I had them keep pushing me to my potential at the beginning, but along the way I have discovered a little bit of myself that was missing in my life for a long time…the competitor in me! I have always been a person who likes to take on a challenge and achieve, and rise far above the original bar of success, I strive for perfection. It has now been about 7 months since I made this life altering lifestyle change, but I couldn’t be happier that I took the plunge. I am 60 pounds lighter, more confident in myself and just have an overall better outlook on life.
There is always hope at the end of the tunnel, no matter how far you think you have spiraled out of control. Along the way someone will throw you a lifeline and then you can slowly start to climb your way back out and up on top. You just have to remember that you are the most important person in this world and that you are worth it. With the right attitude and the right knowledge, you can accomplish anything you put both your mind and your heart into.
I will leave you with a few encouraging quotes that helped keep me believing.
Harriet Beecher Stowe:
“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”
Carl Sandburg:
“The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something.”
Harold Wilkins:
“The world of achievement has always belonged to the optimist.”
--- HW: 261 (Jan '06)
CW: 165 (June '07)
Goal: 135-140
LOST: 96 pounds
Visit my Site: Fight The Jiggle |
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8/8/2006, 4:42 pm
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