David Meadows
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Rules for superheroes
All heroes will use each of these phrases at least once during their careers:
"He's stronger than I remember."
"How can anyone so big move so fast?"
"Gotta move fast!"
"They/you may have started this fight, but I'm going to finish it!"
"There's only one chance -- a slim chance -- but still a chance!"
"You're going to have to do better than that!"
"I actually felt that!"
"I don't know how much longer I can keep this up!"
"This is one battle I have to fight alone."
"What the--?!?"
"Everything I touch, I destroy."
"Hold it right there!"
"One last chance... got to summon my last ounce of power..."
"All this power... and yet I'm helpless..."
All villains will use each of these phrases at least once during their careers:
"You!" (exclaimed as hero makes entrance)
"He's only one man!"
"She's only a woman!"
"It seems I underestimated you. That won't happen again."
"You dare mock me?!?"
"You will pay for that insult with your life!!"
"Impossible! No one has ever survived that before!"
"You may have defeated my men, but now you face me!"
"Prepare to die!"
"Curse you!"
"What a shame that such beauty has to be destroyed."
"How many times must I kill you...?"
"Again you interfere with my plans!"
---
"Musica innata est quaedam communis secundam seipsam delectatio"
-- John the Scot, De Divisione Naturae
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16/4/2007, 18:03
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lardboy
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Re: Rules for superheroes
Damn, you've done all the good ones!
All right, here's my attempt at a few more.
Heroes;
"You've taken you best shot. Now it's my turn!"
"Take my hand, man!"
"It might just work!"
"No-one can know…"
"You're insane!"
"I've got a bad feeling about this…"
"The bigger they are, the harder they fall".
"Haven't you forgotten something?"
"Heads up people!"
"You won't get away with this!"
"We lost them".
Villains;
"With you out of the way, nobody can stop <me/us>!"
"We meet again…"
"You fate is sealed!"
"How can this be? My plan was perfect!"
"Soon the <city/world/universe> shall tremble…"
"There is no escape".
"I learned much from our last encounter…"
"Your powers are weak, old man!"
"I've been saving this just for you".
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18/4/2007, 11:08
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Ray Oceanweaver
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Re: Rules for superheroes
"I am your father..."
Hmm, maybe a little too specific. 
--- Rachel
~The optimist fails as badly as the pessimist, just has a better time of it~
Wings of Rapture - For Writers of Erotica and Romance |
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18/4/2007, 14:56
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lardboy
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Re: Rules for superheroes
Ray, you never mentioned whether that was for villains or heroes! (Though one could perhaps hazard a guess I suppose).
Beside various phrases, there's other rules.
Such as there's always got to be a way out of inescapable death traps!
Also, the events pictured on the cover of a comic should only have the most tenuous of links with what's actually inside...
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19/4/2007, 11:09
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Ray Oceanweaver
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Re: Rules for superheroes
quote:
lardboy wrote:
Ray, you never mentioned whether that was for villains or heroes!
That's debatable.
--- Rachel
~The optimist fails as badly as the pessimist, just has a better time of it~
Wings of Rapture - For Writers of Erotica and Romance |
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20/4/2007, 18:18
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lardboy
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Re: Rules for superheroes
Well Ray, normally your predilection seems to be for hero types, what with your occasional refrains regarding Dave constantly picking on your faves...
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24/4/2007, 17:47
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Ray Oceanweaver
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Re: Rules for superheroes
That's true.
And stop picking on my favourites, Mr Meadows. 
--- Rachel
~The optimist fails as badly as the pessimist, just has a better time of it~
Wings of Rapture - For Writers of Erotica and Romance |
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24/4/2007, 18:06
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lardboy
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Re: Rules for superheroes
Hey, I'm only guessing, but one suspects it'll likely get worse before it gets better for your valiant(?) heroes/heroine.
(BTW, in modern politically correct times am I allowed to utilise the term 'heroine'?)
Mind, it would be nice to confirm the veracity (or not) of my claim before the end of April...wouldn't it Dave?
Nee pressure, ha ha!
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26/4/2007, 12:58
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David Meadows
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Re: Rules for superheroes
One last piece of mandatory dialogue:
"I see it... but I don't believe it!"
(As used by Wane in issue 43 -- coming before the end of April!)
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27/4/2007, 17:53
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David Meadows
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Re: Rules for superheroes
More rules for superheroes...
Alter-egos
Heroes always have careers that allow them to duck out during the day without arousing suspicion among co-workers or friends: reporter, freelance artist, millionaire playboy industrialist, etc.
Heroes whose alter egos work in offices are always surrounded by a lovable collection of eccentric co-workers, among whom there will be at least two of the following:
* A co-worker with connections to organized crime or to one of the hero's archenemies.
* A practical joker who delights in making the hero's alter ego the butt of his jokes.
* A nosy person (usually a woman) who secretly suspects there's more to the hero's alter ego than meets the eye.
* A younger, eager-to-please sort who, more often than not, is a fashion disaster.
* A gruff yet kindly supervisor whose son or daughter may or may not be involved in a street gang or satanic cult.
Every hero, once disaster has been averted, is able to change back into his/her civilian identity immediately afterwards without exhibiting any signs of physical exertion (sweat, mussed-up hair, bruises, etc.).
Even though the hero's alter ego is always the first to volunteer to "go get help" when a danger arises, no one ever clues in to the fact that his/her departure is always followed by the superhero's arrival.
Glasses are an impenetrable disguise.
Heroes wear their costumes underneath their civilian clothing at all times, including capes, wrist shooters, boots, and assorted utility belt paraphernalia. No explanation as to why they're always wearing dark suits or long sleeves, even in sweltering weather, will be provided.
Despite the abundance of surveillance devices and methods in the superhero's world (security cameras, spy satellites, DNA match-ups, telepathy, invisible people, omniscient sorcerers, etc.), superheroes need never worry or take extra precautions to safeguard their secret identities.
If someone should witness the hero's alter ego go into, say, an empty office 20 floors up (or any other such place from which there's only one exit), he/she will follow the hero, find an empty room, and mutter something about getting his/her eyes checked or say "I could have sworn I saw him come in here..."
If a hero's co-worker, romantic partner, or archenemy does stumble across the hero's true identity, then all it takes to convince them otherwise is a quick side-by-side appearance with a robot made in the hero's image or a second superhero who's happy to play dress-up in order to help out a friend.
With a few exceptions, alter egos have terrible romantic lives because trouble invariably happens every time they go out on a date, forcing them to come up with a lame excuse ("I just remembered... something came up") and ditch their dates.
(I didn't write these but I'm not sure where they originally came from.)
Last edited by David Meadows, 27/4/2007, 18:03
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27/4/2007, 18:02
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