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LottomagicZ4941
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Joke of the day:)
"silent treatment."
Mike and Joan were having some problems at home and were giving each other
the "silent treatment."
But then Mike realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for
an early morning drive with some pals to a golf match.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and so lose the "war"), he
wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am."
The next morning, Mike woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 am and that his
friends would have left for the golf course without him.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't awakened him when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It's 5:00 am. Wake up."
Men simply are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
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9/29/2004, 7:17 am
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LottomagicZ4941
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Re: Joke of the day:)
You can find lots of good jokes on the below runboard
http://com1.runboard.com/bthejokesforum.flawyerjokes
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10/12/2004, 2:21 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Re: Joke of the day:)
A nice Einstein quote
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"What's the difference between genius and stupidity? Genius has limits."
found on http://p067.ezboard.com/fgeniusnewsfrm5.showMessage?topicID=173.topic
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10/12/2004, 2:30 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Re: Joke of the day:)
the pearly gates
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A man appears before the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St Peter asks. "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. "Once I came upon a gang of high testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him: "Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me." St Peter was impressed and asked: "When did this happen?" The man replied: "Just a few minutes ago."
from
http://www.cyclingforums.com/t178103.html
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10/15/2004, 4:26 am
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LottomagicZ4941
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Re: Joke of the day:)
"What's the difference between a porcupine and two lawyers in a Porsche?
With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside!"
found on
http://p069.ezboard.com/fthegracecybercafefrm18.showMessage?topicID=11.topic
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10/24/2004, 9:13 am
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fufaji
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Re: Joke of the day:)
Mad-Ad Chain....
These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days. The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake.
MONDAY:
For sale: SK Pramanik has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 5550707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mandal who lives with him cheap.
TUESDAY:
Notice: We regret having erred In SK Pramanik's ad yesterday.
It should have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 555-0707 and ask for Mrs Mandal, who lives with him after 7PM."
WEDNESDAY:
Notice: SK Pramanik has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday.
The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale: SK Pramanik has A sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 5550707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mandal who lives with him."
THURSDAY Notice: I, SK Pramanik, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 5550707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not >been carrying on with Mrs Mandal. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper but she quit!
http://www.fufa-network.ryze.com
Last edited by fufaji, 10/26/2004, 1:00 pm
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10/26/2004, 12:58 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Re: Joke of the day:)
Thanks for visiting your the first Ryze member to post.
Have posted a few more plugs on Ryze since I'm in race with a fellow runboarder to get up to 25,50 and 100 members here.
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11/12/2004, 6:33 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Re: Joke of the day:)
The really awful jokes topic
from http://com4.runboard.com/bspeedkingsbrothel.ftheyellowroom.t5
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What's brown and sticky?
.
.
.
.
....a STICK!
---
If you've got anything to say
Just try to make it clever
You're not going to change the world
But you could make it better
-- Tony Clarkin, "An Ordinary Day"
Aug/20/2004, 11:07 Send Email to David Meadows Send PM to David Meadows
David Meadows
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Re: The really awful jokes topic
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What's yellow and swings through the jungle going "AAAAAaaaaAAAAaaAAAAAAaaAAAAAAA"?
.
.
.
.
....Marzipan of the Apes
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If you've got anything to say
Just try to make it clever
You're not going to change the world
But you could make it better
-- Tony Clarkin, "An Ordinary Day"
Aug/20/2004, 11:09 Send Email to David Meadows Send PM to David Meadows
David Meadows
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Re: The really awful jokes topic
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What goes... black white THUMP black white THUMP black white THUMP?
.
.
.
.
.....A penguin falling down stairs!
---
If you've got anything to say
Just try to make it clever
You're not going to change the world
But you could make it better
-- Tony Clarkin, "An Ordinary Day"
Aug/20/2004, 11:10 Send Email to David Meadows Send PM to David Meadows
David Meadows
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Re: The really awful jokes topic
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's red and can't turn round in a corridor?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.....A man with a javelin through his head
---
If you've got anything to say
Just try to make it clever
You're not going to change the world
But you could make it better
-- Tony Clarkin, "An Ordinary Day"
Aug/20/2004, 11:11 Send Email to David Meadows Send PM to David Meadows
David Meadows
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Re: The really awful jokes topic
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's small and grey and has a trunk?
.
.
.
.
....A mouse going on holiday!
(I think I ate far too many ice lollies when I was younger )
---
If you've got anything to say
Just try to make it clever
You're not going to change the world
But you could make it better
-- Tony Clarkin, "An Ordinary Day"
Aug/20/2004, 11:16 Send Email to David Meadows Send PM to David Meadows
Speed King
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Re: The really awful jokes topic
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The fact that you can remember all these daft jokes after sooooo many adult birthdays is what amazes me.
---
Aug/20/2004, 15:25 Send Email to Speed King Send PM to Speed King
unchained
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Re: The really awful jokes topic
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
quote:
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Speed King wrote:
The fact that you can remember all these daft jokes after sooooo many adult birthdays is what amazes me.
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Speedy,
Dash is only 19, he just looks old.
Bob
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in the end we will send you home Deaf - Jon Lord
Aug/20/2004, 15:31 Send Email to unchained Send PM to unchained
Speed King
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Re: The really awful jokes topic
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He is actually only 5 years younger than me but looks very much older.
---
Aug/20/2004, 15:35 Send Email to Speed King Send PM to Speed King
unchained
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Re: The really awful jokes topic
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Speed King wrote:
He is actually only 5 years younger than me but looks very much older.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That'll be all that knowledge crammed into his head.
Bob
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in the end we will send you home Deaf - Jon Lord
Aug/20/2004, 15:38 Send Email to unchained Send PM to unchained
Speed King
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Re: The really awful jokes topic
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah Yes...should I change it to..Useless Fountain Of Knowledge? It sounds much funnier.
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11/25/2004, 8:21 pm
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LottomagicZ4941
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Re: Joke of the day:)
This guys Girlfriend agrees that they are going to have s e x,
So this guy is extremely happy (as you can imagine),
He then thinks "I need some protection",
So the guy goes to the chemist to buy a pack of condoms,
The chemist asks him if its his 1st time,
The guy replies "Yes" then he begins gloating about what he is going to do with his Girlfriend tonight...
After about an hour of talking to the chemist the guy leaves,
That night the guys Girlfriend asks him to have dinner with her family,
so he says yes knowing that he is gunna get lucky afterwards,
The family is religious so they ask the guy to say "Grace",
He bows his head; 2 mins, 4 mins, 10 mins,
He is taking a long time praying so his Girlfriend leans over to him and says "You never told me you were so religious,
The guy looks back at her and says...
You never told me your father was a chemist!!!
Found on http://com4.runboard.com/bsmackdown5herecomesthepain.fthefunnyfarm.t42
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12/1/2004, 6:47 pm
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Coirce
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Re: Joke of the day:)
Good ol' Speedy & Dash, lol 
---
Celtic Legacy *sigh*
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12/3/2004, 1:27 pm
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