1lost1
Minion of Mayhem
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Neighbor Issue ~ Child Related
It's a Long Post ~ Mini Novel, but I need some help please.
I didn't mention it here prior but this past week I believe it was I had to call the police on the neighbors across the road. They had one hell of a fight and I heard their little girl in their crying, scared half to death and I just couldn't take it. I called the city police, they responded timely and got things settled.
It's a duplex filled with younger adults, early 20's and I have never seen so many people jammed into a duplex in my life. I am also thinking they are running drugs ~ non stop traffic in and out all night.
This evening coming home from work I lost my cool with them. Guessing there could probably be problems that result, but honestly I am not too concerned as they don't intimidate me and if needed I would have all kinds of protection at this house in a skinny minute.
Got home grabbed my briefcase and Olivia as I always to and we climbed onto the porch. I had my Dad install a Lattice Bar to completely ensure there is no way Olivia can exit the porch ~ it will remain until she learns road safety / stranger danger. Well I get her put over and tell her we must give our parched plants some water asap. Put my case down and get the hose telling livy to get her shoes off. She looked like pigpen from Peanuts tonight ~ they played hard outside in the sandbox and water pit.
As I am doing this I turn around baby across the road is down the 13 steps from their porch (6 steps a landing and 7 steps to sidewalk and road. She is filthy in a diaper that I can tell from across the street hasn't been changed all day. My heart broke. Mom on the porch in a green plastic chair on the phone. I hear her scream "I told you to get the F**K Up here. She comes outta that chair still on the phone to grab the little gal roadside. She grabs the little girl by one arm, shaking her violently gets her up to the porch and drops her from about waist level outta the air onto their hard porch like a sack of flour.
Well I have honestly had a rough couple of weeks ~ and I totally lost it. She saw me looking hung up the phone, and smiled and said she just won't listen... I went off on her ~ not losing my temping and talking nonsense, but making it very clear I witnessed everything that had happened. Also I have been witnessing several things and that if I see that baby or any child in that house not being taken care of things are going to get very ugly, very quickly. Well she handled it well, she didn't argue back ~ which honestly was her best move. I know she knows I was one step away from totally losing control ~ I would doubt she has even came into contact with anyone who has as much rage in me as I did at that very moment. She knew it was all I could do not to grab the little girl.
I cannot tell you how that little girl cried, the look on her face is still all I see this evening. The way they treat her has my heart broken. I won't sleep tonight just because I feel like I have to listen for her in the middle of the night.
Now after this incident she went in and rallied the troops ~ they all came out to the porch and onto the lawn and it was very obvious they were directing their comments at me. There had to be 20 adults and a dozen kids of various ages from infant to about 10 years old. While they did that the little girl who was abused earlier was back outside, cleaned up and in a sundress and she had gone to the end of the landing coming down the second set of stairs and a girl went loving to her and made sure to say very loudly "Honey we love you and you are not allowed down these steps. She picked her up around the waist and took her back to the porch. I know it was for show, but I am happy.
Now after all that I don't know how to proceed. I don't see how I am going to go to work Monday, knowing they could possibly be hurting that little girl or any child in that house. My nerves are shot and I do mean shot. What can a person do in a situation like this. Should I witness them hurting her am I allowed to rescue her and call the authorities at the same time or do I have to leave her in harms way, calling the police and hoping they respond timely? Based on what I have witnessed should I call CPS? I have witnessed her being outside, filthy, playing close to the road, no one really keeping an eye on her. Tonight was the first violent act I have seen. Does it warrant a call or do I just hope I made my point they know I am watching and see what happens? If anything happens to those children I will never forgive myself. But I can't be like a Walking Tall in the middle of everyone's business either. I just want to do the right thing and I want the children to be fed, clothed, diapered and loved.
Actually thinking about talking with the girl and explaining once again I am paying attention, but that I do remember what it was like to be a young Mom overwhelmed and if the kids get to be too much to please bring them across the street to here to play a bit. I do want her to know I am not psychotic ~ I do care about the little ones, but in no uncertain terms can I turn a blind eye. I would like to help break the cycle I just don't know exactly how.
Does anybody have any ideas or how to proceed with this?
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Mayhem of Motherhood
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Sep/7/2007, 10:10 pm
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bnlred
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Registered: 07-2006
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Re: Neighbor Issue ~ Child Related
Oh my, how difficult and heartbreaking! First of all, BRAVO to you for standing up for the child- regardless of what may happen, you forced them to act and get her cleaned up in the meantime.
As for what to do next, that is tough. If you do decide to call CPS, I fear they will know who placed the call and you will face reprisals, but at the same time, they will ensure the child's welfare. Reaching out to the young mom has possibilities, but from your story it appears they have plenty of people there to help care for these children and seem to choose not too.
The language is horrible, but this woman could have seriously hurt the child by picking her up lke that- many ERs report these cases since doing that can produce a spiral fracture and elbow dislocation (nursemaid's elbow) in the child. I hate to say it, but I think an anonymous call to the police seeking their advice and one to CPS would be in the best interest of the child and form the sound of it chil"dren".
I guess you have to prepare yourself for how involved you want to get (I know that sounds horrible, but you know what I mean) and for any fallout from these crude neighbors.
Hope this helps and my heart goes out to you over this. I believe that if you pray also, God will tell you what is the right course.
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Sep/9/2007, 2:30 pm
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1lost1
Minion of Mayhem
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Re: Neighbor Issue ~ Child Related
Another woman from the house came over this morning when Olivia and I were having our morning coffee/milk on the porch... I was actually going to post an update ~
She wanted to know if I had called CPS... which she didn't introduce herself, she didn't say hello to me or Olivia who must have said hello to her 10 times ~ she just cut right to it.
I introduced myself and Olivia ~ politely explained Olivia is my second born little girl and unfortunately our first daughter passed at birth. I told her I can pretty much roll with anything, I am no idiot ~ I see the traffic over there, I know they have tripled the occupancy code (if not greater). I also bluntly let her know my uncle is Assistant Attny General State of Pa ~drug task force... (I don't usually announce that~ former wild teen here and I feels its hypocritical but that was prior to having my children), in this instance though I felt I needed to say it. I also let her know he lived less than 5 minutes from here. And then I proceeded to tell her I debated crossing the street and speaking with the little girls mother and extending an invitation that if she gets stressed of needs a break and I am home to bring her and the rest of the kids over, they are welcome to play here. The invitation is still extended, I assured her Olivia would love some play friends.
I also explained I didn't appreciate the troops being called out and trying to intimidate me because it didn't ~ it just pissed me off even more (pardon my language) & that when I call CPS I will own up to it. Its going to be pretty obvious to them because when I make one call I am making several. It will look like the Griswald's Christmas there in very short order.
I explained if I see one more instance of abuse, physical or verbal ~ I am calling the police and CPS the very second I see it, no questions asked. I also explained if I see the babies outside unattended and in filth like I have witnessed in the past with diapers hanging down with 30 pounds of urine and bm's I am calling. If they run out of diapers and baby soap I have plenty on hand all they need to do is cross the street to get it.
I hope I made it pretty clear I am watching and ready to act and they need to start caring for the children and getting the drug activity out of there ~ or bad times are coming. I also let her know I will help them if they need a hand but for that help they need to get it together a bit.
I will say since the incident Friday ~ they have been speaking to the kids nicer and they come outside dressed. So for that I am happy ~ but it makes me nervous to think about what's going on that I don't see. Traffic has cut back as well. I think they were nervous a call had been made. The cutback in traffic and the slight improvements they have made do confirm my suspicions... and I will just watch and listen for anything.
I just wish you could see how gorgeous those kids are. My heart is broken because of how they live. I don't even understand how that duplex was rented out to a gazillion people. We have a nice neighborhood ~ everyone elderly and now this. I really can't even enjoy the front porch with Olivia now because I look across the street and my heart breaks. The kids were riding a laundry basket down the porch stairs, if that gives you any indication of what I am dealing with. We'll get through it and for as long as they are across the street I will keep the kids as safe as I can.
Just horrible and I am stopping in at the City Police tomorrow, explaining I called on them last week and to find out what procedure I am to follow explaining the kids are left unattended and I get nervous they will get run over. I said something to my Dad about it, he lives on the same property as my Uncle ~ that's his brother & he is going to mention that the neighbors are a bit wild and there has been a problem and Uncle Ron will let his friends know at the City Police he would appreciate a timely response if I call in with an emergency.
Thanks Red I would be lost without you gals ~ thanks so much. 
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Mayhem of Motherhood
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Sep/9/2007, 3:37 pm
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suzidfloosey
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Registered: 11-2006
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Re: Neighbor Issue ~ Child Related
Wow - Lost - you are SOME WOMAN! That's amazing! You are so courageous - and you're doing exactly the right thing. I'm a bit concerned for your safety and think you should tell your uncle asap so that you have your back covered. Poor little angels.....
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Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde
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Sep/10/2007, 4:00 am
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bnlred
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Re: Neighbor Issue ~ Child Related
Ditto what suzi says. You are amazing and handled that WAY better than I would have. Nice to have friends and family in high places though. those children are lucky you live across from them. Hopefully this will be a wake up call for these jerks and things will change permanently. Good job regardless!
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Sep/10/2007, 8:18 am
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1lost1
Minion of Mayhem
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Re: Neighbor Issue ~ Child Related
I just hope that it puts the right amount of scare into them to start to care for the kids. I know when the boys were little ~ we did struggled and sometimes that does eat away at a person. But their adult problems can't be taken out on those children. Hopefully they know my heart was in the right place & if they don't realize that I am in hopes when they listened to what I said they figured out I was crazy enough to stand by my word.
I know when the boys were babies, in the evenings we had friends over, we drank and and we played cards and had a great time. But we always made sure the kids had a nice family dinner, their bath and were put into their pj's & bed and able to sleep ~ our card parties didn't interfere with their home life and when specials occasions came where we knew we wanted to get a little wild and crazy the boys went across the street to my Grandparent's house and spent the night.
So I do understand everything they are going through over there ~ but they need to care for the children, stop having more and get themselves together. We'll see what happens 
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Mayhem of Motherhood
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Sep/10/2007, 12:58 pm
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