Page: 1 2
1lost1
Minion of Mayhem
North Pole
Registered: 10-2006
Posts: 2791
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Age 17, eek
My oldest is 17. Considering what some I know have gone through- I have had things with him for the most part easy. He is a great hearted kid. His father being an alcoholic hit him the hardest. As his Dad fell on and off he wagon, moving out and back in depending on his personal circumstances, my oldest had the roughest time with it. This last separation hit him the hardest. I guess he pinned his hopes on his Dad getting it together when the baby was born just as I had hoped he would too, but I knew better. That was not to be. I figured because his studies we slipping and I noticed this time around he seemed to be angry inside with me- I needed to do a little something. I found a therapist for him. This week will be his 4th visit. I practically had to bully him through the door- he refused at first. But he walked out of the first visit accepting we scheduled out for several more. It's too early into it for me to promote how great it's been. I can however notice a difference & he has agreed to go back weekly, he really likes the guy we found. For that I am so pleased and feel its a small step towards something that could be really great for him. He has to bring his grades back up, he needs to start thinking about his future and he needs to know his Dad loves him in his own special way. It's great that he loves his Dad but he has to see the situation for what it is, he's old enough now to look at it realistically. So that's where we are with him. Hopefully things continue to go well, my fingers are crossed.
--- 
Mayhem of Motherhood
RunBoard Directory Staff |
|
Apr/15/2007, 5:03 pm
|
Send PM to 1lost1
Yahoo
|
bnlred
Registered user
North Pole
Registered: 07-2006
Posts: 351
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Age 17, eek
What a great job I think you are doing with your sons! The teen years are so difficult and I think you are handling things very well. The situation with their dad is difficult, but being honest and letting them confide in someone, express their feelings, and learn to constructively deal with any anger they have will pay off in the long run. Let us know how things go, but for now, you are doing great. (where's that smiley with the love or the flowers when I need it?? j/k :) )
|
|
Apr/16/2007, 9:49 am
|
Send PM to bnlred
|
FeedYourHead
Registered user
North Pole
Registered: 05-2006
Location: NorCal
Posts: 643
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Age 17, eek
:hrts
I agree - you seem to be doing an incredible job with all your kids
I bet all your kids turn out to be amazing adults
---  |
|
Apr/18/2007, 3:19 am
|
Send PM to FeedYourHead
MSN
|
Beth lee
Registered user
North Pole
Registered: 11-2005
Location: English Rose
Posts: 52
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Age 17, eek
my son is 16... 17 later this year. He is going to take his GCSE exams this summer and then will go to sixth form college to take A-levels in Law, politics, sociology and economics in September.
I am well proud of him and also my daughter who is in her second yr of a psychology degree at University.
I had an awful childhood and vowed to not let it affect the way I brought my own children up..... :)
We have 'rucks' especially my daughter and myself but hopefully they will look back when older and see how much I did to get them where they are.
---  |
|
Apr/21/2007, 5:11 pm
|
Send PM to Beth lee
|
1lost1
Minion of Mayhem
North Pole
Registered: 10-2006
Posts: 2791
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Age 17, eek
That is so fantastic Beth-Lee, you have a lot to be proud of. I know for some it is so hard to break the cycle, and those brought up in a nightmare sometimes know no other way to raise the children they have.
I was fortunate, we had a great early childhood - I just found trouble in my teen years, but it was nobody's fault but my own. Very fortunate not to be a statistic of some sort. Luckily I was able to pull it together and have worked my way up the ladder to a wonderful career & I have always managed even in the chaos to keep the children on the best path possible. We could have been a train-wreck and we have faired pretty well.
I think from what I am hearing from friends with daughters who are just about grown, arguing more than one would like is pretty common. I have heard from everyone girls are more difficult to raise. I haven't got to that point yet as Olivia is still a peanut - we're in the honeymoon stage yet.
Congrats on such an accomplishment with both, that's truly wonderful. :hooray
---
Mayhem of Motherhood
RunBoard Directory Staff |
|
Apr/21/2007, 7:18 pm
|
Send PM to 1lost1
Yahoo
|
Beth lee
Registered user
North Pole
Registered: 11-2005
Location: English Rose
Posts: 52
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Age 17, eek
Yes I would say girls are more difficult to raise. I mean I wanted a girl first and was so pleased that I did..... but she has always been 'hard work'. Firstly with sleeping ....funny here actually because as a baby/toddler she would NEVER sleep, and then as a teenager we could NEVER wake her up.... lol :p She argues a lot with everyone and still seems very immature.
My son on the other hand has always been a joy and still is, he will do anything you ask and is like the 'peacekeeper' in our family. When arguments breakout which they are a lot recently he smooths things over.... :holy: which I do feel bad about tbh. I mean why should he have to do that??
He has a wide circle of friends and is very academic..... and it comes easy to him. Where as my daughter has had to work her socks off to get where she is academically and maybe that is the reason for her mood swings. Plus she is a LOT like me I'm afraid to say. :omg:
--- |
|
Apr/22/2007, 5:09 am
|
Send PM to Beth lee
|
1lost1
Minion of Mayhem
North Pole
Registered: 10-2006
Posts: 2791
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Age 17, eek
The "alot like me" I can relate to. That was Mom and mines problem when I was growing up. We were too much alike and we clashed frequently. For the most part we have gotten past it, but every now and then if I were to be honest we do butt heads- I think it will always be like that though as we are both very strong women. Additionally- I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't realize until I had babies everything Mom did for us. I'll bet ya it will eventually pass. She is going through alot. The age she is at is difficult for anyone to get through- going from being a child to an adult and finding yourself. Additionally she has to work her backside off for her studies. It would be so hard to know you had to study so hard to accomplish & then see your brother have an easier time. She is hanging in and from what you have said is doing a fantastic job. Mom and I had some awful fights during those years (looking back sometimes I just cringe when I think about them- I do mean they were awful) but through it all I did love her & I knew she loved me, regardless if we would have taken death by a stoning than admit it...
My boys are the peacekeep types as well. I can already tell Olivia was blessed with my Mother's & my genetics so I would imagine things will get all kinds of crazy when we enter those years ourselves. I have already asked Zak's therapist to keep a spot open on the couch, we'll definately need it!!
---
Mayhem of Motherhood
RunBoard Directory Staff |
|
Apr/22/2007, 9:56 am
|
Send PM to 1lost1
Yahoo
|
Beth lee
Registered user
North Pole
Registered: 11-2005
Location: English Rose
Posts: 52
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Age 17, eek
Yes I am proud of her and all she is accomplishing.... not only does she do all this studying for her degree she is also a 'gymnastics coach' and has had to study for that qualification as well. I am proud of her and tell her but she thinks not and says so all the time.
I do feel that if we were at a distance from each other we would get on better.... who knows. :| Just feel I am maybe a tad envious.... is that really bad of me??
--- |
|
Apr/22/2007, 12:13 pm
|
Send PM to Beth lee
|
1lost1
Minion of Mayhem
North Pole
Registered: 10-2006
Posts: 2791
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Age 17, eek
Distance was the key to me and Mom, under one roof together we were like oil and water.
And no, being envious I think goes back to the childhood you had and what you possibly missed out on because of it (not knowing the full story this is only a guess, hope you know that statement came from the heart in a non judgemental way). I also think too that there is something to feeling the pressures of doing so much to ensure your kids had the opportunity to have the world at their fingertips and them not understanding what a huge accomplishment it was. I go through that here alot. I have gone to my wits end trying to give them every opportunity and sometimes I don't feel like they see it. My oldest views his Dad as a superman of sorts and he has done very little (it angers me) & I take the brunt of being the reason the family is separated. It's very confusing and I don't think I have expressed my thoughts correctly. Hopefully you'll get what I was saying... At times I feel like they see me as the bad guy, and I have never trued to be the bad guy. But I try to keep with me that it's easier for them to see me as the bad guy then to really see they Dad for the "man" he is. It's just how they cope & I have to be strong enough to handle it and be there for them as they comes to terms with our reality. Which slowly they are.
---
Mayhem of Motherhood
RunBoard Directory Staff |
|
Apr/22/2007, 12:38 pm
|
Send PM to 1lost1
Yahoo
|
Beth lee
Registered user
North Pole
Registered: 11-2005
Location: English Rose
Posts: 52
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Age 17, eek
Yes I did miss out on a lot of things in my childhood and although pleased that my daughter is getting to do everything she wants i feel she doesn't appreciate it at times.
I feel too that I am going to be viewed as the 'bad guy' and their dad will be 'blameless'. Still in time the truth will out I'm sure..... best is for me to 'bite the bullet' and hope my children will see in time that is was all for the best.
You sound to me like you are doing a grand job and are very strong..... only hope I can be too when the time comes.
--- |
|
Apr/23/2007, 3:03 pm
|
Send PM to Beth lee
|
Add a reply
Page: 1 2
Powered by AkBBS 0.9.5b - Link to us
- Blogs
- Hall of Honour
- Chat
Click here to get your own free message board
|
