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bnlred
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Justin
OMG, I am so sorry you are going through all this. Jinzy and Suzi etc all have such great advice I really have felt I had nothing to add except my support. So although you may not hear from me, know that I'm reading this and keeping up and definitely praying for you. Again, you are this boy's angel and sometimes even angels have to get down and dirty for what's right. Remember Michael? Hang in there and know I'm thinking of ya.
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Oct/19/2007, 8:29 pm
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1lost1
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Re: Justin ~
Thanks Red ~
Last night Justin told Jimmy... Greg would like to meet Tuesday night at 6:00.
This came in last night as well from Greg, I find it rather convenient out of all the emails back and forth this one got trapped in spam...but I will take him at his word :
Dori:
Your email was initially trapped by my spam filter, so I did not get it prior to my meeting with Justin today. Justin knew about this meeting well in advance, but he misplaced his reminder note and I returned it to him yesterday.
Your lengthy email covers too much ground to respond to in writing, but I have to say that when you refer to Justin having an IEP, you are using kindergarten through 12th grade terminology. At the college level there is no such thing as an IEP but there are such things as accommodations. Justin has been using some accommodations—such as extended time for tests and tutoring—but these are supports that he must request and that he must utilize on his own. He only recently applied for tutoring in his Java programming class despite my urging him to do so from the very beginning of the semester.
I have scheduled an appt with Justin for next Tuesday Oct. 23, at 6 p.m.—you and his uncle James are welcome to attend if Justin wants you here. Maybe then we can clarify some of the issues and concerns you have.
Greg XXXXX
Academic Counselor & Disabilities Coordinator
Can anyone tell me where to look to be properly prepared for this? I am guessing I need to look into the ADA. My uncle has an attorney friend, I cannot image on this short notice he will be able to be helpful (hoping though for a miracle there).
I said to Greg it is unrealistic to expect Justin to reach out to strangers in time to save his grades. To me that's not accommodating. Bottom line they are claiming because of his age and with what they are calling accommodations in place (which I have yet to see anything I would call accommodating, as it relates to the needs of Justin) they feel he should be able to breeze through this as every other student at that college. I think they have set the bar at an unreachable level at this time. While we strive for the best it will take gradual steps to get there.
Any help, suggestions on how to deal with this putz would be so appreciated. And I will say while I realize he is a putz I do control myself when talking with him so no worries of me going in there half ****ed sounding like an idiot. While I will go in half ****ed he won't see it.
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Oct/20/2007, 9:34 am
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suzidfloosey
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…
quote:
but these are supports that he must request and that he must utilize on his own
The man is a complete and utter fool - the very thing that people with ASD can't do is reach out and request things.....IDIOT!
The most important thing in my opinion for this meeting is to have Shawn and the college principal (or other person above this fool) present and to minute this meeting very accurately. The minutes should then be submitted to all who attended after the meeting. This is just crazy stuff - that guy is a disgrace.
BTW - did he really put kisses after his name? sounds like he's the most disabled person to be honest. Keep all emails and correspondence from this guy and record phone calls dates/times/content.
Justin is entitled to a full and supported education and he's not getting that - bring the ADA down on them like a tons of bricks and use that lawyer - just my tuppence worth...
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Oct/20/2007, 10:23 am
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jinzleftbuttcheek
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Re: …
No Suzi, I think she was just blanking out his last name.
Onesie, If Justin grants permission, you or Jimmy can get a copy of everything that Justin gets. They have to make reasonable and appropriate accommodation. Your uncle will not do any good unless he is well versed in the ADA laws. I would google my state and see if there are any organizations that can be of assistance to you. If you were here in GA, I'd have no trouble hooking you up. Also check Hanso Wacky Research. It has a lot of good links that may be of some use to you.
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Oct/21/2007, 9:26 pm
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1lost1
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Justin
Canceled until a date in November (which escapes me). Greg didn't feel as if he was as ready for the meeting as he needed to be. Needless to say I am very pissed, pardon my language. If the date changes in November I am going over his head.
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Oct/23/2007, 8:47 am
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suzidfloosey
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Justin
Actually this could be useful for you Lost to prepare Justin as we discussed? Also I think the guy is running scared. How did he 1. cancel? just a call or in writing? Either way i would respond with a letter and cc the head of the college, shawn etc as follows:
1. Detail the cancellation
2. Give a brief detail re. what's needed from the meeting
3. Ask for the 2-stage meeting as we discussed (if you all agree that's what best)
4. A statement around the importance of the meeting including possibly a request for them to keep things as stable as possible until such time as the meeting can sort things out.
If you want samples of letters like that just PM me and I can send them on - may as well share resources LOL!
I think with institutions like schools/colleges you have to cover yourself in writing. His boss should definately be cc'd and by writing the letter he won't be as easily able to slip away next time.
It's a shame really as it would have got it over with but Nov is only a week away and it gives you a chance to prepare more. Also it gives you a wee break to deal with the other stuff that's going on at the moment.
take care 
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Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde
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Oct/23/2007, 10:37 am
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1lost1
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Re: Justin ~
ok now I have just received this from Shawn... who seems to have jekyl and hided me... but I am perturbed about the meeting cancellation so that might be swaying my, but I do not like the tone of this...
My primary area of interest is assisting Justin in gaining independent living skills, thus my focus is on what he can do for himself, not what others can do for him. I do not believe Justin’s difficulties relate to a lack of support or resources at all. Rather, they relate to an under-utilization of said resources. If my experience with Justin is any indication, he has little or no interest in discussing his school work until it is too late. He consistently tells me has no work to do and I have gotten his test results mostly from Greg, not Justin. When I confront him with the scores he then admits to difficulties. Nor does will he allow me to assist him with organization. He balks when I have tried to assist him with developing a schedule for the semester and I would very much doubt if he has anything resembling it.
Justin’s situation is very complicated for a number of reasons. First and foremost, he is an adult. His personality has also been formed and there appears to be a significant avoidant element to it. This is his method of dealing with difficulty. Characteristic of Asperger’s Syndrome, he has social deficits, and poor organizational skills and executive functioning (staying on task and allocating enough of his resources to complete something). He can not tell me how much time he studies daily or for any subject. This is a variable that needs to be accounted for.
An evaluation has been completed for him to attend Wesley Spectrum Wonder Kids program and this program will be of great value in my opinion. I will try to get up with Gina, the program director, to see where things are with this.
Any thoughts on this? I want to make sure we handle things as they should be with Justin's best interest.
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Oct/23/2007, 10:41 am
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suzidfloosey
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Justin
Ok, This is also familiar - we had this after our son's CBT therapist said 'it can only work if he wants to do the work' which to me read that they couldn't be bothered anymore trying to incentivise him. It always amazes me that those who understand AS most have so little practical understanding.
On the positive Shawn would seem to think that Justin has enough supports. This is good, then what he is saying i think is that Justin isn't using them? yes he is an adult but he isn't able to organise what he needs to get through this course. I'm sure Justin wants to qualify, he just needs the structures put in place to do this. Yes it is all about life skills but at the moment college is his life so this is where the time needs to be spent. All adults with AS have 'avoidance issues' - otherwise they wouldn't have AS! AS people are self-centred and uninterested in those around them - that's the nature of the disorder.
Ok, Shawn has tried to schedule things with Justin - would it be worth a try to have Shawn come round to Jimmy's and you all try to set up the structure with Justin? Not knowing him it's hard to tell. God - they all give up so easy don't they!! I wonder would that old head teacher be interested in working with you all to develop some schedule structures? I feel that if Shawn could see a completed study timetable (with subjects for study and area's for Justin to tick when completeed) that he might be willing then to do a bit more.
I think there is a bit of a communication breakdown so the meeting is essential to bring all together to say "ok, things are a mess how can we facilitate Justin out of this mess and back to functioning".
i just googled that program - from what i can see it's only up to highschool?? It would be good to ask Shawn what exactly he envisions Justin getting out of this - as I've said before the focus needs to be on college really so you don't want distractions unless they will help with college. The reality is that Justin may have to re-take this year if things aren't sorted for him - mind you that's no big deal really either (provided it's not a financial burden) as some aspies do take longer to get their degree.
Oh i don't feel i'm much use to you today....so sorry they are all being so unclear about this - these professionals should be able to guide us clearly through this stuff!
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Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde
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Oct/23/2007, 11:50 am
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1lost1
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Re: Justin ~
Any help is help and I am thankful.
I am actually waiting for a packet that should arrive in the mail today from the contact at Justin's High School. She is including everything she had available on Justin and anything else she thinks will be helpful. She stated several times if I needed anything to please let her know, so once I see what is inside of there I will then make contact with her.
Shawn is actually supposed to be with Justin every Wednesday 3:00-6:00 pm. I will see if we can schedule a way to meet and get something in place.
We questioned the Wonder Kids Program and were told while Justin would most likely be the oldest one attending, a person can attend until they are 21 years old. We did talk with Shawn about him going and Shawn felt even if just for socialization it would do Justin good, so Jimmy and I not knowing for certain thought if its good we better jump on the bandwagon.
I do feel frustrated. Only because at this stage, he is second year, the college is aware he has Special Needs and there is nothing in place. We are working with a disabilities coordinator and he seems the most disabled of the bunch. He also seems to be the one most put out that we are trying to help Justin get through this. We don't want Justin to coast, we want him to learn and pull his weight and get the most he can out of this, but we feel the school needs to give a bit to and cut the kid a break because he does learn differently than others. He isn't incapable, we don't want him coddled, but cut us just a little bit of slack here and work with us a bit.
His whole being an adult thing, they are using as a convenience to avoid putting things in place to assist.
I am also a bit ticked because Justin most certainly can't be the first student to attend that college with A/S. They have a whole disabilities department but it isn't worth anything because there is obviously nothing in place. If there were, we wouldn't be going back and forth as we are. Methods they had in place for prior students would be being adapted to Justin's needs. Also Shawn is with a Center whose only focus is A/S... this should be a walk in the park for him to implement. And it seems like he is pitty patting around with the school, unsre what to do and what to put into place. That strikes me odd.
I am documenting everything. And Jimmy is about at wits end with this he can't handle the "battle". It does give us time to bring a few things out in the open with Justin. It also gives me a bit of time to get better sorted and in a little better with lady at the High School too.
We're going to get it sorted, I know we will. And it wouldn't be us if it weren't complicated, so I can even handle that... but wow people sure make things difficult.
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Oct/23/2007, 12:15 pm
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suzidfloosey
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Justin
Oh it sure is a battle - we feel sometimes that all we do is battle but on the good days its definately worth it.
You've got what Justin needs down to a T there - he needs not to be 'coddled' but to be facilitated and guided. He will still have to work hard but he needs the structures within which to work. Gradually if he has good structures he will learn to implement these going forward in life but he won't ever 'just know what to do' in particular situations.
You will get there and he will get through college. I'm sorry you're having to go through this its hard enough when your the parent and have known the child all his life, you guys are only getting to know Justin and are thrown into all this. My goodness but he's a lucky boy to have 2 such guardian angels.
Edited to add - re. the program, just try it and see. If it turns out the others are 12yrs old then it's of no social use to Justin and in fact could land him in trouble if he feels he should socialise with this age group out in the world. Why would a 18-19yr old want to hang with young ones? So I would say it's worth looking at but see how Justin is with it.
Last patched up by suzidfloosey, Oct/23/2007, 12:41 pm
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Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde
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Oct/23/2007, 12:38 pm
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