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wishfulthinker82
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Location: united kingdom
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Re: cliff'em all
all my faithful readers have just recieved k's from me i'll post some more soon but i gotta catch up with my writing first cos i'm falling well behind buti'm working on it so the chapters maybe a little short from now on till i've caught up i love you guys your all great!!!
---
Gimme Fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which is desire!
TO POSTWHORE!!!! Yeah baby!!!
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1/31/2006, 7:31 am
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Metalice
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Re: cliff'em all
that's a great story hon
--- So close no matter how far...
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1/31/2006, 12:47 pm
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Kirkus Hammettus
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Re: cliff'em all
claire, i LOVE this story! please write more!
--- 
Oh My lifestyle (Birth is Pain) determines my deathstyle!
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2/2/2006, 4:30 am
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Kirkus Hammettus
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Re: cliff'em all
Hun?? when are you gunna be writing more of this wonderlicious story?
---
Oh My lifestyle (Birth is Pain) determines my deathstyle!
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2/8/2006, 6:59 am
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wishfulthinker82
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Re: cliff'em all
hey ppl i'll post some more when i can ok!. I've been really unwell and need to sort myself out first before i sit and post some more of this.Sorry for the long wait i haven't forgot about any of you i promise, just right now ain't a good time. I thank you for your patience.
---
Gimme Fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which is desire!
TO POSTWHORE!!!! Yeah baby!!!
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2/9/2006, 8:37 am
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wishfulthinker82
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Re: cliff'em all
Ok so here's the long-awaited update enjoy!
The years passed by quickly. Before i knew it, it was 1999 and i was a technical lighting director at the Berkely community theatre, Northren California. I'd moved back west only 6mths ago. After i graduated-i did an apprentiship for two years in a New York theatre, after that i moved on to a bigger and better one, i started out at the bottom and worked my way up to were i was now. It has been a hard slog but i never gave up.
At the beginning of April i heard that Metallica and the San Francisco symphony orchestra lead by Michael Kamen were to do a collaboration!. I seriously wondered how that would work, and also i knew that meant i'd have to face the guys again: we'd lost contatct, they were busy, i was busy, and we just lost touch. I admit i was also very nervous about seeing them again: of course they were all married now, with the exception of Jason. I'd kept up with them and bought all their albums. I still had Cliffs bass on display;it had been 13 years and i kept the promise i'd made to myself-i stayed single. I'd never loved again-i couldn't.
One week before the shows the guys came to start rehearsals, i was extremely nervous; in fact i was that nervous i had to fly to the loo and throw up!. It felt foolish to be this nervous but i just couldn't help it, it been 12 years, as i walked out ofthe lighting box later that day i walked smack bang into a large solid chest.
"Oh sorry, excuse me" i said as i looked up to find it was James.
"Hey that's ok i didn't hurt you did i?"
I blushed red-he'd changed so much after all he'd cut his hair short.
"Hi..hi James" i said nervously
"Sorry do i know you?" i could feel his eyes searching me
"Well you use to about 12 years ago!"
"12 years ago,hell i can't remember what happened 12 days ago"
So typical, James and his booze soaked brain!.
"James Alan Hetfield, how could you forget me i only went everywhere with you and the guys for like 3 years".
He looked shocked and astonished-as he took my appearence in: after all i was 12 years older too,then he laughed
"Tia Emily Watson, my god girl what you doing here?"
"Hey you remembered finally, and to answer your question i work here"
"You work here? doing what?"
"I'm the technical lighting director"
"No way!"
"Yes way James!"
We both burst into laughter, then he hugged me a little tighter than he should have.
"Hey is the rest of the guys here too?"
"Yeah their backstage"
"Come on Jamie, lets go surprise them".
For that i received a smack on the bottom; i followed James to the dressing room. We talked on the way; then it occured to me to ask James.
"Did you ever tell Kirk what happened between me and Cliff?"
"No i didn't" he said quietly
"You know Jan and Ray sent me one of Cliffs basses to New York for my birthday"
"No i didn't, you still got it?"
"Of course i have it's in a special display case, you know i never stopped loving any of you, you had your career in the end, i had mine. You know i never married and i never loved again after Cliff"
"That must be really lonely Tia"
"No not really, i had my work: but i carried on following your careers i even joined the metclub!-just to keep up with what you where upto and i have all the albums too".
James glanced sideways at me and smiled.
"What?" i said uncertainly
"Just can't believe how much you've grown up and what you've made of yourself"
"Oh yeah i can play bass too now you know!"
"Wicked, nice one Tia".
Before i knew it we were outside the dressing room. I told James to go in first and say he'd found an old friend then i'd come in. I heard James make the announcement and i walked in. Every eye on me: it took a minute but Kirk got there. I was amazed to see his shock expression.
"Tia, what,how,when?"
"Focking hell, Tia Watson, what the fock yu doing here?"
"Hey nice to see you too guys, did ya miss me?" i asked laughing.
I hugged Lars and laughed, Kirk hung back he looked so unsure. I knew i owed him an explaination. I knew it wasn't going to be easyto listen to either; and i was finally introduced to Jason.
"Nice to meet you Tia" he said holding out his hand
"Likewise" i said in response
"So how do you know the guys then?".
They hadn't told him; anything. I was shocked and upset.
"I was Kirk's high school sweetheart, and when Kirk joined 'Tallica i followed these guys to the ends of the earth and back. But things got to much for me after Cliffs death. I moved away and i started again and here i am now".
I looked at Kirk but he wouldn't look at me; seeing me had opened a flood gate of memories-mostly unhappy ones and he left the room.
"What the focks wrong with him?" said Lars with a shocked expression on his face
"I'll go" said jason in concern fo his friend
"No it's ok i'll go, i need to talk to him anyway; there's some things i need to sort out. So just give us some time ok?"
"Ok Tia"
"Just be gentle" whispered James in my ear
"I will" as i squeezed his arm.
I found Kirk out the back in the staff car park wondering up and down, muttering to himself; in the sunlight i could see his cheeks were wet '****' i thought, God this was going to be difficult.
"Kirk?"
He just looked at me.
"Kirk please, i know you need some answers"
"Damn right i do Tia" he said very angerily
"Please Kirk don't be angry yet: at least let me tell you everything first, but know this i never stopped loving you ever"
He hugged be savagely, his body wracked with sobs.
"Hey baby come on" i just held him in my arms
"Come on lets go to the beach i need some sea air and it's not far form here".
So we got in my car, Kirk had a cell so he phoned Lars and said he'd be back later; i put the sterio on and i started blasting the Misfits-i started smaking the steering wheel with the flat of my hand and headbanging!, Kirk looked absolutely terrified.
"Christ! you Cliff reincarnated?"
"No but just to see that old familiar look on your face is so funny!".
I laughed hard, once i'd calmed down i started to drive 10 mins later i pulled into the parking lot at the beach.
"Come on" i said
We took a a slow walk stoll along the beach, breathing in the sea air.
"Look Kirk...." i started
"Tia hold up a mo there's something you need to know".
I turned and stared at him.
"I knew about you and Cliff" he blurted out
I stood gaping, not believing what i was hearing.
"What..how..whoa!" was as much as i could spit out
"I knew, i knew that's why you took Cliffs death so hard the only thing i don't know is why you tried to kill yourself"
I couldn't speak and i couldn't stop the flow of tears running down my face.
"I tried..i tried to, to kill myself because, because....".
I couldn't find the words to tell him; i started walking again-trying to formulate the words to tell him.
"Tia please whatever it is tell me"
"I..i..can't".
He stopped me by standing in front of me and putting his hands on my shoulders and tried to look into my eyes.
"Damn Kirk, fine i'll tell you; Cliff proposed to me the day before his death-and i said 'yes' and something else remember i went ahead?, i had an hospital appointment; i was pregnant, he never knew-and i lost his child that night too!, there happy now?!"
He moved away from me ans started walking fast; i had to run to catch him up.
"Kirk , Kirk please stop"
He turned to look at me. His eyes were so dark- it was almost scary, his face wet with tears.
"Two years! you didn't think i knew, but i did-from that first morning in the hotel room. You left the door slightly open- i saw you and Cliff at it. I was so shocked that i went into denial; i pretended like it wasn't happening. It go to me, thta's why i started doing the coke so heavily. To help block it out; but also in another respect i was glad you were happy cos obviously i couldn't do that!" he stormed.
I just couldn't help myself i held him in my arms like we were new lovers. I just didn't want to let him go-but i did, i ran crying as i went. I eventually collapsed in the sand and sobbed. Then i threw up. I then felt a pair of strong arms go round my waist. I could smell it was Kirk from the scent of his aftershave.
"I'm so sorry baby, i'm so so sorry" i sobbed
"I'm sorry too, it couldn't have been easy for you. My drinking all the time. Isn't it a wonder you turned to Cliff for the love and affection i should have given you!".
He helped me to my feet.
"God Kirk if only you weren't married!" i muttered to myself.
I turned to face the ocean; and once again i felt his arms go round my waist, his chin rested on my shoulder.
"Ok i'll make a deal with you-we leave the past in the past, and look forward to the future instead-no dwelling"
"Ok, but it's true what i said-i never stopped loving you, i've never loved anyone since either; also one more thing there was only one other person who knew...James. The night i lost the baby, he came wih me-i made him promise and he did".
"Baby don't worry now".
His arms tightened further; and i felt his soft lips brushing my neck and shoulders.
"Oh Kirk, don't please, baby don't"
"**** Tia i've missed you".
I gave myself up to him; right there and then, i knew there was no going back, he pulled he turned me and kissed me hard and passionately. He pulled my skirt up as he laid me on the warm sand. i was already very aroused and so was Kirk. He pulled his shorts down slightly and slowly pushed himself inside me, while he kissed me and we made slow soft passionate love right there on the shore. we both climaxed together-breathing hard he rested his head on my shoulder.
"love you" i heard him whisper.
---
Gimme Fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which is desire!
TO POSTWHORE!!!! Yeah baby!!!
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2/19/2006, 5:57 am
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Board's time is: 11/27/2009, 5:56 am
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. The second to last part was so sad. I cry everytime I read about Cliff's death *sniffle* 
