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Lady Hammett
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Re: The Alternate Hetfield Family
Christmas was hell. I wanted a new bass and amp, but Dad said no. He said I was going to have a present that NORMAL kids had.
So I asked for a Playstation instead. It was the end of 1997, and they were new at the time.
I liked Playstation, but didn't feel like playing it as much as my bass. It just wasn't as fun.
When New Year rolled around, Francesca announced that she was pregnant. I was shocked at first, but the news quickly rolled by in a haze. At that point I was indifferent about what happened in this family, because I no longer felt a part of it. I was the son that my father didn't know what to do with, and the unwanted stepson in addition to that. That suited me fine, because I just wanted them both to leave me alone.
With a new baby in the house that was his and hers, they would be paying too much attention to him or her to bother with me. That suited me fine, too.
My 1998 New Year's Resolution was to learn how to read. I was going to be nine in July, and I was sick of being illiterate. I also hoped that, if I could read, Dad and Francesca would stop belting me. Then again, with a new baby, surely they wouldn't have time to belt me.
I didn't get to see Uncle Jason and Uncle Kirk as much as I did before. But one weekend I had the privilege of staying at the Chophouse because Dad and Francesca were throwing a baby shower. A baby shower all weekend long? Bull****. They just wanted me out of there - but like I said, that suited me fine.
Uncle Jason was always a serious guy. But this weekend, he seemed even more serious than usual. We engaged in a two-hour bass lesson, then when we were done, we went out for pizza. When we arrived back at the Chophouse, Uncle Jason said, "Ryan, I need to talk to you."
"About what?" I asked. I didn't sound dismal like he did. I was happy that I was out of Dad's horrible house. Just watching Jason's two Rhodesian Ridgeback dogs play on his wraparound porch was relaxing to me.
"Kirk told me about what happened," he said, looking me straight in the eye.
"Well, there's nothing that can be done. If you and Dad fight then the band will break up," I said quickly, feeling uncomfortable. It was hard enough talking to Kirk, who I was close to emotionally, let alone Jason, who was close to me but all about business.
"Ryan, I think your safety comes before the band," Jason replied boldly. His voice sounded like it was going to crack, yet he kept it steady.
I hesitated. "Well, what does Uncle Kirk think?"
"He's not sure what to do. Neither am I, really."
I remembered Dad moaning and groaning downstairs about a week ago that he wasn't happy about Jason. He was unhappy because Jason was considering a solo project. It sounded like they had already fought. By the sound of Jason's voice, it didn't seem to matter if they fought again.
"Uncle Jason, I don't want you to get in trouble and get fired from the band," I said softly.
Jason said nothing. He looked thoughtful, rubbing his chin gently.
"Anyway," he said finally, "I was wondering about whether you'd be interested in going to the House of Blues tonight. An excellent jazz bass player and good friend of mine is going to be performing there."
I was happy that the subject was dropped because I had felt uncomfortable. But once it was changed, I wished it hadn't. I needed to talk to somebody about this.
We didn't all weekend. But when it was time for me to return home and he drove me back, we exited the car, and Jason threw his arms around me in a tight hug. I was surprised - he'd never been that emotional before. "Take care, little buddy," he told me.
Great, now I felt like crying. I wanted to stay there in his arms, where I'd be safe forever. Of course, this was bad, because what they knew was basically dividing the band subconsciously. Kirk and Jason knew the truth, and Dad and Lars were in denial that anything was wrong.
Jason pulled out of the driveway without looking back. I guess he couldn't.
I turned and headed up to the front door. Dad and Francesca weren't even home yet.
Then my cell phone rang (yes, Dad gave me one so that he could keep track of everywhere I went. Not that I had any friends, so why did it matter?)
Cell phones were pretty big back then, and mine was in my backpack. I pulled it out and answered it.
"Ryan, it's Dad. We thought we'd be back by now but there's an accident on the freeway. Just go inside and we'll be home soon, okay?"
"Sure." We hung up, and I let myself in with the spare key, which was underneath the doormat.
When I got in, I remembered my New Year's Resolution. I was going to learn how to read, no matter what it took. I looked around for something to start with. Aha - the mail on the countertop was an excellent place to begin.
Then I realized immediately that Saturday's mail wouldn't have been checked since they hadn't been home. I went out to the driveway and pulled it out of the mailbox.
That was when I noticed that one of the envelopes had my name on it. I could read my first name regardless of how much trouble I had with my last name.
I took the mail in and opened the envelope addressed to me. I pulled out a letter and forced myself to break down the words, letter by letter.
"D E A R RYAN," I made out,
"W H Y H A V E N ' T Y O U R E S P O N D E D" - I could make out the "why", but the letters beyond that kind of blurred together. I decided that the best thing to do was to figure out who wrote it first, then I could call whoever it was and explain to them that I couldn't read.
To my shock, the last word on the page was "M O M". Above it was "L O V E,"
Suddenly, the door burst open.
"What's that?" Dad snapped, and snatched the letter out of my hand. When he read it over, his eyes burned in rage. I flinched, bracing myself for impact.
His open palm slapped me hard across the face.
"Calm down, James. He can't read," Francesca told him, not sounding the least bit suprised or upset.
"This," he roared, "Is not for you to read! Do you understand?"
"But it had my name on it!" I screamed loudly. I couldn't stand this **** anymore.
"THAT IS MY MAILBOX!" Dad shouted. "AND YOU DON'T TOUCH IT! EVER!"
"She's my mom," I found myself saying.
His fist flew into my face, and I blacked out.
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1/31/2006, 4:43 pm
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Lady Hammett
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Re: The Alternate Hetfield Family
Damn posting limit! Ryan has more to say!
*********************************************
I woke up in my bed, with a slab of steak over my eye. I immediately removed it and threw it on the ground. It was quickly eaten by our new border collie puppy, Disco.
I jumped up and ran to the bathroom to wash my face. My eye was completely purple. ****!
That did it. I couldn't take it any longer. I grabbed my cell phone, then bolted down the stairs and out of the house.
"Hey! Where the hell do you think you're going?" I heard Dad's angry voice from the kitchen.
I booked it down the street and out of my neighborhood. On the way, I called Uncle Kirk, telling him which direction I was bound.
"I'm on the way," he replied, and hung up.
It seemed like forever, but his Land Cruiser finally came into view as I streaked down Palm Street. He pulled to a stop, and I jumped into the car.
"Ryan!" he cried when he saw my face. "What happened to your eye?"
"I'll explain - we have to get out of here!" I gasped. I hadn't even noticed that I was crying.
When we got to Uncle Kirk's house, he put a bag of ice over my eye. Then he sat down, putting his head in his hands.
I was the first to speak. "I got a letter from my mom."
He looked up sharply, alarmed.
"I'm trying to read. I really am. And I could read my name on the envelope. Then I looked at the end of the letter, and I saw 'Love, Mom' at the end of it. He told me I wasn't allowed to read my own mail. I bet she's been writing to me for a long time and he tore up all her letters! I hate him!" I burst out.
"Oh, my God," Kirk said softly. "I can't believe this."
"I'm running away," I made up my mind right there and then. "I know you can't keep me because of the band. So I'm running away, and-"
"Stop," Kirk cried. "You can't run away, Ryan."
"Can too!" I exclaimed. "Come on, Uncle Kirk. If somebody was hurting you, wouldn't you run away?"
He looked pained. Finally, he choked out, "Come here."
I walked over to where he was sitting, and he pulled me into his lap. I barely fit since I was almost as tall as him, but I needed the comfort.
"I'd like to share something with you that's kind of personal," he said softly. "I don't know, maybe it could help. But my dad was like that too."
I jerked my head up. I wasn't sure what to say, so I didn't say anything.
"But I didn't run away," he continued.
"Why?" I asked. "You didn't have to take it. It's against the law, right? There was this kid at school, Billy, and his parents got arrested cos they were whopping him too."
"Well, back then people didn't see it as being illegal. At least not like they do now."
"But it's against the law now. If it wasn't gonna break up Metallica, I think he should go to jail!" I yelled.
Kirk had tears in his eyes. "You're such a smart kid. You know so much . . ."
"If I'm smart, why can't I read? Everybody thinks I'm dumb."
"You are NOT dumb. Believe me when I say that," Kirk insisted. "And I think your safety is more important than-" he stopped right in the middle of his sentence.
"No. You can still be in Metallica, and I'll still be safe. I'm running away." I got up off his lap - just as Kirk's phone rang. My cell phone was on vibrate and had rung several times, but of course I hadn't answered it.
"Don't answer it!" I shouted as Kirk checked the caller ID. By the look on his face I could tell who it was.
"I can't lie to him. Then the band would definitely be over," was all he said.
"DON'T ANSWER IT, OR I'LL RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW!" I shrieked.
So he didn't answer it. He was almost shaking. "They're gonna come here anyway," he wheezed hoarsely.
I didn't want Kirk to get in trouble. But I didn't want to face Dad, either. "You're right. So I gotta get out of here anyway."
"WAIT-" shouted Kirk, but I had already taken off and bolted out of the house . . . just as Dad swerved into the driveway.
Kirk was running out of the house. "James, I'm so sorry," he said as Dad got out of the car.
"It's isn't your fault, Kirk," Dad replied curtly. "It's Ryan. He is nothing but a troublemaker, and I apologize that he has come to your house telling you wild stories." He turned to me. "You apologize to your uncle, RIGHT NOW, for troubling him!"
"S-Sorry," I coughed out.
Dad's hand clamped around my wrist, and he practically threw me into the car. All my uncle could do was stand there in shock as we pulled away.
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1/31/2006, 4:44 pm
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Lady Hammett
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Re: The Alternate Hetfield Family
Whew! I am getting addicted to writing this story and now it's Castor's turn . . .
When the lunch schedule changed, I got lucky. I was in Lunch C, which had a small number of people, and Marcella and Mindy were in my lunch. Cali was not!
I sat with Mindy and Marcella. Mindy also invited her friend Josh - who danced at Cali's studio.
"Why don't you join?" he asked me. "I mean, you liked it, right?"
"My dad said no," I groaned.
He rolled his eyes. "Thinks it's sissy, does he? My stepdad does. But he isn't my real dad, so it's not his decision." He grinned.
I said nothing. I almost wished Dad wasn't my real dad. But how did that make any sense?
Mindy and Josh knew to ignore Cali and her crap. Josh went to the boys' dance classes - now that a couple more boys had joined, they made a boys' class at the ballet studio. He used to do partner dances with the girls, but when they put him with Cali once, he was turned off from ever dancing with them again!
"She's a creep alright," he agreed with Mindy and me.
Thank goodness that I had friends that would stick around, hopefully. Everybody else had friends, even Marcella. Not only did she have friends at school but she also had Tye-Orion, Uncle Rob's son. Tye was a couple years younger than her but they got along like a house on fire.
Cali's best friend in the world was Myles Ulrich. Myles went to a different school, but our families were thinking about sending them both to the same prep school next year. They were both in the same grade, both born in 1998. Myles was just as snotty as Cali and that's probably why they got along so well. I hated it when they ganged up on me.
I didn't get along with either of the Ulrich boys very well. Layne was a year younger than me, but he tended to tag along with Myles and Cali. Sometimes he hung out with Marcella and Tye - it just depended on his mood. But he never chilled with me, and I figured I just wasn't GOOD enough for him.
My favorite relation to the band, actually, was Uncle Kirk. You're probably thinking, why wasn't it Uncle Rob since he was the bass player? Well, I liked Uncle Rob a lot, but Kirk was the coolest and most laid back. You know how with some people you can get into a conversation for hours with them and it just feels natural? That's the way it was with my uncle Kirk. I got along well with his wife, Lani, too. I loved spending time with them at their house and ranch and they seemed to enjoy having me over - even if they didn't have any kids. Often I would take my bass over so Kirk and I could jam.
Cali began having both dance recitals and stage performances all over the state. She and Myles (who played drums like his dad) had put together a band (of course I knew that me playing bass for them was not an option, despite the disappointment of Mom, Dad, Lars and Rob. Kirk knew that Cali and I didn't get along so he understood.)
Would you believe that idiot Carl Rodgers ended up playing bass for them? I didn't even know he played bass!
So it was Cali on guitar and vocals, Carl on bass, and Myles on drums. They finally named their band The Asylum Inmates. Lamo!
Anyway, Cali had dance recitals and band performances all over. The Asylum Inmates began to get popular, considering two of Metallica's children were in it. They had a rather punkish or even grungish sound - perhaps much like Hole. But Cali was crazier than Courtney Love of course.
I got jealous, so jealous that I refused to view any of Cali's performances. Mom and Dad got angry, of course, that I refused to support my sister.
"This sibling rivalry **** has got to stop!" Dad screamed one night. But he knew he was fighting a losing battle, and whenever I was absent from Cali's activities, I spent that time with Kirk and Lani.
"I'd rather jam with you than her any day," I told my uncle one day at his house while Cali and Myles were doing Battle of the Bands somewhere near LA. "Besides, she won't jam with me anyhow."
"It's not easy being the middle kid, is it?" Kirk asked me. "I was."
"Yeah, it hella sucks," I responded. "Cali makes all the decisions, Marcella gets babied, and I get nothing. The worst thing, though, is that Marcella is two years younger than me and she can read. I'm almost nine and I can't."
I hadn't told many people this yet, not even my favorite uncle. Kirk looked absolutely shocked.
"Really?" he exclaimed.
I groaned. "I hope you don't think I'm dumb-" I started.
"No!" Kirk cried. "It's just that, you are so much like . . ." His voice trailed off. "I mean, first you ended up playing bass, and now . . ."
"You mean like Ryan?" I burst out.
Kirk hesitated. Finally, he asked, "How much do you know about Ryan?"
"Everything I can know without Dad murdering me," I told him. "I think he's awesome. Cali thinks he's a traitor to the family and hates him, but I don't care what she thinks. I hate her. And Marcella, well she just doesn't know. If she does, she doesn't care."
Kirk cleared his throat softly. "Your brother liked to spend time here a lot, like you. He and I were very close."
I felt a tingling sensation in my spine. Kirk had been Ryan's favorite uncle too? And Ryan couldn't read either?
"So Ryan couldn't read when he was my age?" I questioned.
"No, and ever since he left - well, since he was, what, nine or ten when he left? He still couldn't read when he went."
My mouth dropped open. This was spooky!
"Kirk," I said earnestly, "Is there any way I can make contact with him? Does he still contact you?"
We were in the kitchen, and Kirk motioned for me to come over to the table to take a seat across from him. I did.
"Castor, how old are you?"
"Almost nine," I replied.
"If I were to tell you something just between the two of us-"
"I'd never tell anyone! Especially not Dad," I cried eagerly.
"I have had some contact with Ryan since. He says that I am his favorite uncle."
"Wow!" I exclaimed. "Do you think that I could meet him through you?"
"No, I'm sorry," said Kirk immediately. "There's just no way that we could do it without your dad finding out. But when you're older, I'm sure there are ways you could find him yourself."
"I don't want to wait," I insisted.
"Well, the other thing is, and I hate to say this, Castor, but I don't know whether he is interested in meeting any of you guys. He wanted to move on with his life, I'm afraid."
It made sense, and I nodded. I had heard about people finding long lost relatives only to be rejected.
"Anyway," Kirk continued, "I just want you to know that Ryan was a special person. He was a great kid. And you just remind me of him a lot."
I was so happy that I wanted to cry. Ryan had been cool and majorly respected by my favorite uncle, and now he was telling me that I was just as cool and respectable!
That was when I decided that I was going to find Ryan, no matter what it took.
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1/31/2006, 7:58 pm
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HEADBANGERZ
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Registered: 12-2005
Location: off to never-neverland
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Re: The Alternate Hetfield Family
quote:
Whew! I am getting addicted to writing this story
and i'm getting addicted to reading this story.
MORE PLEASE!!!!
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1/31/2006, 9:38 pm
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wishfulthinker82
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Registered: 11-2005
Location: united kingdom
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Re: The Alternate Hetfield Family
jesus hon i have never been more angry poor ryan that is just not fair and i'm really beggining to hate james!! and i hope castor finds ryan too kirks so cool!!! i just wish kirk and jase could do summat for ryan!! anyway more please and a big fat k for ya!!!
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TO POSTWHORE!!!! Yeah baby!!!
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2/1/2006, 3:24 am
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