dreamingfifi
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Registered: 10-2005
Posts: 6
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 "A Choice Between Love or War"
This will be my first ever MST.
A Choice Between Love or War by Rivendell beauty
Chickens are in a chicken coop. They are very old chickens. Their legs and backs have lost pigmentation, and they like their afternoon naps very much, thank-you. Their human is still quite young and good at keeping their secret: these chickens are very intelligent. They can talk. They can read. They can spork.
So, whenever a particularly gentle summer evening comes to pass, the human brings in her laptop and reads them a story of particular horridness. This is one such event.
Chapter 1 of "A Choice Between Love or War"
The human knocks on the coop door and pokes her head in. Queen Lace Red, Sir White, and Lady Greedy are still in their afternoon slumber. The human tickles their chins until they wake up, which doesn't improve their mood any. "Wake up, I've got a story for you!"
Sir white stands up on his perch slowly, his knees suffering from arthritis. "The ladies are tired," he clucks.
"Is this one of rotten feed?" asks Lady Greedy.
"Rotten feed and more!"
"Well then, Whity-poo," clucks Queen Red. "We can open our ears enough to listen to some more pullet plops."
quote:
Fear is the key to bravery; Bravery is the lock to life.
Queen Lace Red: Well, that made no sense.
Lady Greedy: Is this something like: Hunger is the key to eating; Eating is the lock of pubescent plops?
Sir White: *pecks Lady Greedy's head* Daughter! Watch your language!
quote:
She laid; staring into her beloved’s eyes.
“Idrial, what’s the matter” Idrial’s sister, Arwen laws looking at her with concern.
Sir White: Wait! I cannot hear this!
Lady Greedy: That Arwen has yet another Mary Sue sister?
Queen Lace Red: Or that "Idrial" could be considered an Elven name?
Sir White: Those too, but Arwen is in an incestuous relationship with the Mary Sue! My brain is breaking.
quote:
Arwen’s beauty dazzled any living creature, black hearted or not, although she was 2777 she’ll never look it though her eyes showed the wisdom and maturity arwen gained thoughout the year. Her eyes looked like two crystal balls with trapped energy desperate to realse from its cage.
Sir White: How is a Mary Sue-ish description of Arwen supposed to help the situation?
quote:
“Nothing, I – I was just dreaming”
“Idrial, he is highly fond of your intelligence and beauty, but if you express your feelings for him, father will start a war you will never win”
Queen Lace Red: Oh, the punctuation!
Lady Greedy: Oh, the characterization!
Sir White: Oh, the blinding praise!
Queen Lace Red: Oh, the run-on sentences!
Lady Greedy: Oh, the Evil Elrond!
Sir White: Oh, the death of logic!
quote:
Arwen and Idrial’s father was Elrond, lord of the elf-realm of Rivendell, a strong and noble man he was, known across the land of middle earth.
Queen Lace Red: Could the author at least try to spell words correctly?
Sir White: No. It distracts the reader from her lack of canonical knowledge.
quote:
“Is it almost time to seal the fate of the evil that haunts us?” As Idrial said this, a tear escape from her eye, she knew her love will go with the fellowship; she could never be parted from him. What would she do if he dies?
Queen Lace Red: Write a self-help book?
Sir White: I see it now: "Is your tragic love not tragic enough? Are your sex scenes not weepy enough? Is the massive build up of guilt not destructive enough? Get Idrial Sue's manual on incest and fellowship fondling!"
Lady Greedy: Oh, teh DRAMA!
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10/4/2006, 16:26
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Nurvingiel
The MSTer
Registered: 09-2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 730
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Re: "A Choice Between Love or War"
Oh Em Gee this is hilarious! *offers corn to chickens*
... or whatever chickens like to eat. Er.
*offers chickens coupon for three free lunches at Bob's Chicken Feed Mart*
Arwen has eyes like crystal balls... so she has two glass eyes then? How did that accident happen?
What does the *cough* name *cough* Idrial mean?
---
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10/4/2006, 23:54
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dreamingfifi
Tea Drinker
Registered: 10-2005
Posts: 6
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Re: "A Choice Between Love or War"
quote:
What does the *cough* name *cough* Idrial mean?
It's a rip-off of Idril's name, as far as I can figure. Her name is a Sindarin adaption of the Quenya name Itarillë. It means "Sparlking Shine", in reference to the moon.
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10/5/2006, 12:39
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Seraphimlance
Projector Operator
Registered: 02-2005
Location: On the net, Duh.
Posts: 196
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Re: "A Choice Between Love or War"
I still prefer Whup brand Whup Ass myself.
The chickens are are a great added touch, realy original. ^_^
Hey look, I logged in.
---
Hope is the destination that we seek.
Love is the road that leads to hope.
Courage is the motor that drives us.
We travel out of darkness into faith.
------The Book of Counted Sorrows
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10/8/2006, 13:54
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dreamingfifi
Tea Drinker
Registered: 10-2005
Posts: 6
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Re: "A Choice Between Love or War"
I'm imagining Idril siccing her husband's cousin (Túrin) on the Sue actaully. Wouldn't that be fun?
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10/9/2006, 10:07
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