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arcticwolf1
Cupcake Eater
Registered: 11-2004
Location: North-West Scania, Sweden
Posts: 56
Karma: 2 (+2/-0)
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Re: The Joke Thread
Three nuns died in a carcrash and came up to St Peter.
"Ok, in order to enter you have to answer a question each."
"Ok. ask away" said the first nun."
"Who was the first woman."
"Eve"
"Ok, you're in." and the first nun enters.
"Where did Adam and Eve live?"
"In Eden"
"Ok, you're in." and the second nun enters.
the third nun was the mother superior so she would get a sligthly more difficult question.
"What did Eve say when she first saw Adam?"
The nun thinks for a while and finally says:
"Mmh, that's a hard one."
"Ok, you're in."
Last edited by arcticwolf1, 3/12/2006, 2:02
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Luminous Beings Are We, Not This Crude Matter
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3/12/2006, 2:00
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Nurvingiel
The MSTer
Registered: 09-2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 730
Karma: 3 (+3/-0)
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Re: The Joke Thread
And:
Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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3/12/2006, 2:01
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arcticwolf1
Cupcake Eater
Registered: 11-2004
Location: North-West Scania, Sweden
Posts: 56
Karma: 2 (+2/-0)
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Re: The Joke Thread
A priest and a man was out playing golf and the fellow was just about to make a difficult put. a five foot one. and he misses.
"Darn. Missed the bugger."
The priest admonishes him."You're not supposed use that kind of language."
The fellow shrugs and they move on to the next green.
This time the put is a three foot one and yet again he misses and says:
"Darn. Missed the bugger."
Then a bolt of lightning comes down and strikes the priest.
And from far above can be heard:
"DARN. MISSED THE BUGGER!"
Last edited by arcticwolf1, 4/4/2006, 23:02
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Luminous Beings Are We, Not This Crude Matter
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3/12/2006, 2:07
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arcticwolf1
Cupcake Eater
Registered: 11-2004
Location: North-West Scania, Sweden
Posts: 56
Karma: 2 (+2/-0)
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Re: The Joke Thread
good one.
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Luminous Beings Are We, Not This Crude Matter
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3/12/2006, 10:12
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Seraphimlance
Projector Operator
Registered: 02-2005
Location: On the net, Duh.
Posts: 196
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Re: The Joke Thread
Mrs. Smith walked into the Reverend Jones's office.
"Reverend, I'm afraid my husband keeps falling alsleep during your sermons."
"Yes, I'v noticed that, here use this."
He hands her a foot long needle.
"Everytime he falls asleep, stab him in the arm with it. But wait for my signal, when I nodd my head."
She takes it, and leaves, the next day is church, so they go.
10 minutes into it, Mr. Smith is asleep.
Mrs. Smith has the pin at ready, so the reverend says:
"And who died upon the cross, and bore your sins?"
And nodds.
She stabs him in the arm, and Mr. Smith jumps up screaming:
"Jesus Christ!"
The reverend is surprised, but bids him to sit down. 20 minutes later, he's asleep again.
So, the the reverend says:
"And who gave birth to Jesus, the one who saved us from our sins?"
He nodds.
Mrs. Smith stabbs him, and he jumps up, screaming:
"Mary mother of God!"
The reverend is taken aback, and asks him to sit down again.
Mr. Smith is at this time very paranoid, so he doesn't go back to sleep. So the reverend ignores the Smiths, and launches into one of his notoriously long-winded sermons.
During which, Mr. Smith has fallen asleep once again.
Mrs. Smith sits there waiting for him to give her the signal. And towards the end, the reverend says this:
"What did Eve say to Adam, after she bore him his 99th son?"
And he nodds, out of habit.
And Mrs. Smith stabbs Mr.s Smith. He leapts up, grabs the needle from her, and bellows:
"If you stick this in me one more time, I'll break it in half, and stick it up your ass!"
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Hope is the destination that we seek.
Love is the road that leads to hope.
Courage is the motor that drives us.
We travel out of darkness into faith.
------The Book of Counted Sorrows
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3/12/2006, 22:39
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