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Gossip Girl season 3 recap

From Zap2it By Lisa Todorovich

Welcome back, Upper East Siders -- I'm figuring out what you did last summer. "Gossip Girl" came roaring back tonight with everything you could want -- a loose rumination on gaining independence and becoming your own person, tabloids, paparazzi, daddy issues, kinky role playing, family warfare, sports cars, and insanely hot celebrity spawn. Oh, it's on.

These spoilers are ripped from the tabloid headlines...

While Lily's off caring for her very ill mother, CeCe (i.e., Kelly Rutherford's real-life maternity leave), the Humphrey Gang plus Eric is living la dolce vita in South Hampton. And Jenny and Eric have been plotting to keep Serena's exploits unknown to Dan and Rufus -- until Dan gets a look at a tabloid when they all head back to the city to start feathering the communal nest at Lily's apartment. And Serena's limo pulls up and is immediately swarmed by paparazzi. God bless clueless Rufus, who only gets more clueless, though well-meaning, throughout the hour.

It doesn't take long to become obvious that Serena's "I was in an ashram, taking a vow of silence" story is bull, though Serena claims to have no idea why the paps are following her (the too-short, ill-fitting shorts can't help). But Blair calls her bluff about her wild ways all over Europe -- including with Paris Hilton cast-off Cristiano Ronaldo (I too hope Serena's gotten her shots).

For her part, Serena tries to warn Blair about the creepy/hot role-playing habit that she and Chuck have gotten into. She picks the mark, Chuck sets up a situation ripe for cheating, Blair breaks up the scene as the scorned woman, and all is the opposite of boring, at least in Blair's mind. I know Chuck and Blair are both over the top, but it feels goofy and contrived, and I'm glad when they bag it.

Then there's Nate, who's exercising his rebellion muscles upon returning from Europe and hooking up with his female counterpart from his family's political enemies, the Buckleys. Egged on by Chuck, he takes young Bree to his family's charity polo match to introduce her to his grandfather, return the generously proffered Ferrari, and stick it to the family. It feels a little like a Pops-engineered set-up to me, but I've gotten paranoid. We'll see how it plays out.

Meanwhile, in between her trip to Europe with Nate and letting her hair extensions get seriously skanky, Vanessa hangs out at the coffee shop with Scott, a.k.a. Rufus and Lily's long-lost (and thought dead) child -- but no one knows that yet. She's eager to introduce him to Dan, and finagles a couple of tickets to the polo match to do so. Scott ends up semi-bonding with Rufus, which will either help or hurt the final unveiling.

After Jenny, Dan, and Eric finally clue Rufus in on what Serena's been up to, she swears up and down that she hasn't fallen back on her old ways. Yet something's clearly haywire, because at the polo match where she promised to be on her best behavior, Serena sets Carter up by telling Blair he's been stalking her, then grabs one of the polo ponies and makes a dash for the woods. Carter follows in hot pursuit and confronts Serena, telling her (quite correctly) that all of her attempts to get attention won't make up for the fact that her father didn't come to meet her when she tracked him down in Europe. She softens, they enjoy a proverbial roll in the grass, and we move on.

In the end, Rufus' cluelessness about both Serena's activities and motives is almost sweet, as he throws a little bit of Lily's money around and buys up most of the paparazzi photos of Serena. But of course there's one snapper he hasn't reached -- and Serena's working with him to make sure the pics are published in Europe and Asia, so her father can't help but see her. What are the odds this will work?

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9/15/2009, 8:30 pm

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Re: Gossip Girl season 3 recap

From Zap2it By Lisa Todorovich

It must be hard to go from being the head Mean Girl in high school to being a nobody -- and a disliked nobody at that -- in college. I wouldn't know (particularly about the Mean Girl part). Tonight's "Gossip Girl" tried to get us to walk a mile in Blair's stilettos, which was frankly kind of boring, even with the bad lighting. Much more interesting: Serena fleeing higher ed in favor of a gap year, and Dan liplocking Georgina. Nice!

I will not use these spoilers to bribe you into following me...

As Blair heads off to the NYU dorms to establish her social dominance (more on that in a minute), Serena just isn't excited about going to Brown. She's so unexcited, in fact, that instead of heading off to the Ivy League, she makes a beeline for the Bass Cave, looking to crash with Chuck until she can come up with a reasonable story for her mother. Then she blows the first of two business meetings that Chuck has to try to open a restaurant in a closed bank building, where he plans to turn the vault into a reinvention of decadence. Raise your hand if you're ready for Chuck to get over his "Eyes Wide Shut" obsession. I do, however, admire his spunk. He seems to have joined the land of those who get it.

Serena recruits Carter into helping her blow up Chuck's second business meeting after Chuck tells Rufus her plan not to go to Brown. Then Carter essentially tells her to buzz off -- way to show some backbone, Carter -- and she heads to Chez Humphrey to hide out. While wearing a truly awful orange shorts romper. Ladies, if you're over age 6, a romper is not for you -- I don't care how hot and perky you are. Just say no.

After pouting about how no one understands her, Serena finally has a halfway decent talk with Rufus, who sweetly offers to help her break the news to Lily that she's deferred Brown for a year. Then she goes and makes up with Carter. Is there hope that she's starting to grow up? Maybe.

Oh, Blair. After turning up with Dorota and gift bags (with headbands) for the girls on her floor, she ends up fated to room with Georgina. who's putting on a good show with Dan and Vanessa of trying to start fresh in her new college life. After no one seems interested in joining Blair's crowd or in eating her sushi and drinking her saketinis, she's forced to beg Dan to take her to Georgina's hoppin' rooftop party. Where she's hideously out of place and seems to be allergic to having any kind of age-appropriate fun -- or age-appropriate accessories, for that matter. However, in a stroke of absolute genius, she goes power-mad and invites Georgina's cohorts from Jesus camp to come and proselytize at the party -- and arranges to move the whole shebang to the Monkey Bar.

But Vanessa and Dan ain't buying. Dan already knew Blair was using him before Georgina pointed it out, but it was a brilliant moment when Dan grabbed the DJ's mic and called Blair's bluff in front of the whole crew. And thank goodness, because I like Dan loads better as an interesting young writer without much use for the high-school manipulations he's seeing. Plus, he's working that whole hot-writer-guy thing with Katie from the literary group. Except for when he wakes up on the rooftop the next morning with Georgina curled up in his lap -- and plants a big smooch on her.

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9/27/2009, 2:08 am

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Re: Gossip Girl season 3 recap

From Zap2it By Lisa Todorovich

The prodigal son, a.k.a. Scott: After Vanessa and Dan catch Scott in a lie about the classes he's taking and Vanessa learns that he's not even registered at NYU, he finally knuckles and admits to Vanessa that he's Lily and Rufus' long-lost son. Vanessa debunks the lie his parents told about Lily and Rufus not wanting him, which sends him back to mom and dad to find out why they told the HumphderWoodsens he was dead. This is, of course, after he's been spending time hanging out with Rufus and playing guitar.

Vanessa promises to be at his side when he tells Rufus the truth. Dan and Georgina, who really have mastered the use of Google for detective work, want to expose him as a stalker (sure, Dan -- you have a stalker) at the Sotheby's auction where one of Lily's photos of rock stars is going up for sale (the pretext for a "family" evening this week). Vanessa pushes to let him explain himself, but then Scott's mom shows up, saying she was scared to lose him to Lily and Rufus, but now if he wants this, she'll support him. At the moment of truth, he finks out, saying he's really the other son, Andrew -- the one who actually got killed. Rufus is flooded with relief, Dan's momentarily appeased, and Vanessa is rightfully confused. Later, Scott tells Vanessa that a reunion will be something he chooses, and he's heading back to Boston -- which Georgina, listening outside the door, overhears.

The Munsters, a.k.a. Blair and Chuck: With each passing week I'm loving Chuck and growing tired of Blair all the more. She's, ahem, nonplussed because Chuck doesn't seem to have time for her any more as he begins his attempt to stand on his own baby-mogul feet. Worse, she walks in on Dan and Georgina sucking face and is too grossed out to deal. "From Serena to Georgina -- that's quite a fall, even for you," she says to Dan.

Blair's no happier when her attempts at seduction are rebuffed because Chuck's trying to meet with a new investor for his club -- a guy named Steve McPherson who seems to have done more than his fair share of club hopping and star... wooing years back. When the guy's assistant Chuck that the way to McPherson's heart is through his past, he spots the artfully placed Sotheby's auction catalog on the desk, open to an old photo of McPherson, and his mission is engaged.

But Blair, who now has something to live for because she's been invited to join a snooty secret society, is gunning for the same photo -- it's part of her initiation ritual. Blah blah blah fighting, making out in Blair's dorm room (like Chuck Bass is going to get it on in a dorm room -- please), and they end up at the auction in a pretty funny bidding war over the photo. Serena buys the photo while they're too distracted to pay attention, to pay them back for setting up Carter in an attempt to prove to her that people -- well, Carter at least -- don't change.

In the end, Serena gives the photo to Blair, who gives it to Chuck because she believes in him. Chuck figures out that McPherson's assistant and Georgina set him and Blair up and outs the assistant to her boss, promising that he'll be losing the lease on his bar/lounge space in a hotel. Because now Chuck wants to be a hotel mogul. He makes up with Blair after telling the board of Bass Industries he wants to cash out his shares and make it on his own. Is Chuck a budding Andre Balazs?

Dan's ill-advised hookup, a.k.a. Georgina: I'm pretty sure we're supposed to think of Georgina as the antichrist, but her skin's too pretty for me to buy it all the way. Nonetheless, she just can't seem to keep out of mischief, sending Blair the phony invite, conspiring with McPherson's assistant to pit Chuck and Blair against one another, getting a little too attached to Dan (though one screen saver photo does not yet an obsession make), and spies to learn the truth about Scott's identity. At the auction, Serena spends about half a calorie's worth of energy telling Georgina she'll be backing Blair when and if she strikes back. Serena, of course, tells Dan about Georgina's dirty deeds, and he suggests the ol' "let's take a break." Great. Which sends her to Boston to follow Scott.

Pretty but maybe not so bright, a.k.a. Serena: Serena spends a good deal of time swanning around insisting that Carter's a changed man -- though at least she's wearing actual clothes and not rompers this week. But she begins to have her doubts when a girl claiming to have slept with Carter slaps him on the street, and when there's a giant room service bill at the hotel where they were supposed to stay for the weekend. He swears he's not the culprit of either caper, but she doesn't believe him. Of course, Blair and Chuck are behind both incidents -- Blair determined to protect Serena and Chuck just because he hates Carter. Chuck tells her Carter's been running around Greece, and suddenly it makes sense -- he's looking for Serena's father. Serena and Carter make up, and join the extended Vanderphrey clan for breakfast.

Nate and Bree, a.k.a. give them something to do: Nate and Bree (Joanna Garcia) go public with their relationship at the Sotheby's auction, kissing up a storm outside the building. Inside, Bree overhears Serena talking about Carter, and later leaves us hoping for a little bit of intrigue when she confronts Carter on the street from the back of her limo. She's headed home to face the family firing squad, and considering what he did to them, she thinks finding Carter will go a long way toward winning back her family's affections. Let's hope this gets good.

---

10/4/2009, 2:43 am

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Re: Gossip Girl season 3 recap

From Zap2it By Lisa Todorovich

Though I'm not exactly Hilary Duff's target demographic, I've been looking forward to her "Gossip Girl" arc. And even though it seems to echo one of those "First Daughter" movies where she goes to college just wanting to be a normal student, I'm praying for a future catfight with Blair. Also tonight: Tyra Banks turned in some better acting than usually she rolls out for the "America's Next Top Model" judging panels. Go on, Tyra.

First, let's discuss how refreshing it is to see Nate actually not attached to a girl at the lips, and actually doing some school work. I'm not sure I bought Dan's not knowing who Olivia Burke (Duff) was, but I suppose if I accepted the premise in "Notting Hill," I have to do it here. And he seemed to have a little bit of game, which was cute to see. And since Olivia is Vanessa's new roommate, he's going to get an opportunity to use it. She even blows off Larry King for Dan, so you know that boy's got charisma.

As Serena practices with Rufus her big reveal to her mother that she won't be going to Brown (Serena's coaching about Lily's mannerisms was very funny), Lily shows up, and is appropriately appalled. Serena's determined, however, to prove that this is the right decision, and swears that she'll get a job or an internship. After the gratuitous appearances by Tory Burch ("You came highly recommended by Anna Wintour" -- bleh) and Georgina Chapman (I could listen to her accent all day) and an interview with an art gallery, Serena confesses to Blair that everyone wants her to attend their parties, but no one's interested in having her work for them. Until, of course, she runs into Olivia's really pushy (and it turns out, really bad) publicist, Casey, who hires her to help with the premiere of "Fleur," the new movie starring Olivia and Ursula Nyquist (Tyra Banks).

Serena and the temperamental Ursula hit it off ("You're like the diva whisperer"), complete with sleepover/pajama lounging (not totallly sure what that was), and Ursula talks about her favorite scene in the movie: as Josephine Baker, she has to distract the Nazis who are trapping her and resistance fighter Olivia so they can escape. The trouble comes when the publicist finds out that Ursula's big scene has been cut, and doesn't want Serena to tell her. Because -- get this -- an actress who finds out her part's cut and skips the premiere is not a story, but an actress who learns about the cut and melts down at the premiere is a great story. Lame.

After Lily quite rightly notes to Serena that this Casey creature hired her only because of her connections, Serena advises Ursula to stay classy -- and she does, which prompts Casey to fire her. But Ursula comes to the rescue and threatens to fire Casey if Serena's fired, and the karmic balance rights itself.

Meanwhile, Olivia tells Dan she has to work and can't go out with him a second night, so he dejectedly turns to Vanessa -- who invites him to be her date to the movie premiere -- to which everyone else in the hall has also been invited. Dan hangs around clueless, still not knowing who Olivia is, until he spots her and barely manages to put two and two together in the paparazzi glare. He gives her a long spiel about how his last coulple of relationships have been filled with drama, and what he wants now is something low-key. Way to diss the movie star, you dope. But in the end, Dan comes back around -- and lucky for him, Olivia's a forgiving soul.

Not so Blair -- though that's no surprise to anyone. She's still on the warpath at NYU, unable to figure out how to rule over people she doesn't understand -- which I assume means sentient humans who are unimpressed by headbands. She confesses to Chuck that she misses Constance, and leaps in when the Mean Girls of Constance alert her that Jenny Humphrey is ruining everything. Jenny's decided not to buy in to the Queen Bee/Mean Girls bit, and insists that things become a democracy. It's not quite "change we can believe in," but it's not bad.

But Blair will not be stopped, lending monogrammed headbands to Jenny's overthrow and hosting the annual Waldorf sleepover -- which she charmingly refers to as "tutoring some girls at Constance." "Jenny Humphrey is destroying everything I worked for," she huffs to Chuck. "And those girls deserve to learn the meaning of the word aristocracy." Chuck, bless him, totally calls her on it, and hatches an odd-couple plan with Jenny to snap Blair out of it ("Blair's gone Col. Kurtz," he tells her.). He goes to the premiere, using Blair's ticket, and brings Jenny as his date. When the new class of Mean Girls get the Gossip Girl text about it, Blair flies into a rage, dashes to the premiere and screams at them both. Chuck does a smashing job of taking the flak and calming her down (if I didn't know better, I'd say he'll be a great husband someday): "Next time you forget you're blair waldorf, remember I'm Chuck Bass and I love you." For good measure, he pays off a photog to snap a pic of Blair (or 10), which does wonders for her self-esteem.

Boosting it, in fact, to new heights that allow her to figure out how to make herself a Queen Bee again -- by creating a new club for prep-school girls -- a haven of hierarchy in the "patchouli-scented purgutory" of NYU. Chuck rewards her with a little kinky role-playing. But the Waldorf legacy, in the end, proves more difficult to shake than one might have thought -- and Jenny seems to be settling into her new role as Queen.

---

10/12/2009, 3:40 am

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Re: Gossip Girl season 3 recap

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10/12/2009, 3:40 am

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Re: Gossip Girl season 3 recap

From Zap2it By Andrea Reiher

Tonight on "Gossip Girl," Rufus and Lily get married. It's about time.

Rufus & Lily
The kids stage some "Parent Trap" shenanigans and just as I type that, Rufus drops the movie name. Bah, stepping on my jokes. It gets the parents to talk but they fight when Rufus suggests they get married at a quirky inn called the Skylark, a place they stayed when the band was on tour. Lily balks because they had "Welcome Back, Kotter" cups and she can't invite the mayor to a wedding that has Freddy "Boom Boom" Washington on the dinnerware. I'm with Rufus on this one, Lils. That's sentimental and you're a snobby ***** sometimes.

Thankfully they both realize that they need to stop talking and worrying and just do it, so they decide to get married. Tomorrow. Cue worker bees in the form of Little J's Plastics. Excellent.

The Gang
Chuck & Blair try to double-date with Bree & Nate. Blair is suspicious of Bree, but Chuck and Nate think she's great. Bree warns Chuck to tell Serena to be careful about Carter. Instead, Chuck lets Bree know that Carter will be at the wedding so Carter has a choice: come clean to Serena, get had by Bree at the wedding or get outta town with Chuck's plane tickets.

Carter mans up, though, and comes clean with Serena about his gambling debt and nearly married a girl named Beth so she'd take care of his money problems. He got cold feed about the con and ran off. Serena is disgusted. Bree finds Carter and tells him that Beth's brothers are going to beat the ever-living daylights out of him that night.

Georgina & Scott
Skankalicious is back and she's gone all, "I will not be IGNORED, Dan." She blackmails Vanessa with spilling to the Humphreys that Scott is alive and that Vanessa knew all along, so V starts working on Dan to dump Olivia, which causes him to suspect V has feelings for him again (at Little J and Eric's urging). When he confronts her, she spills about Scott being Dan's brother and now he has to keep Georgina out of the wedding business by asking her out

Of course, Skanky is one step ahead and knows about the wedding. When Dan balks at taking her, G knows something is up. So she gets Scott to accompany her to the wedding and drops the love child bomb all over everything, after Lily and Rufus basically bite Scott's head off for interrupting them (fighting, naturally).

Lily and Rufus are horrified at G's reveal and chase after Scott, finding him when he's getting a bus back to Boston. They exchange some impromptu vows in front of Scott and the whole family shares a big ol' hug.

It all ends with a beautiful ceremony at Rufus's loft in front of just the important people. Awwww. And just because my heart hasn't grown three sizes yet, Chuck tells Serena that Carter must really care about her since he could've skipped town instead of being honest with her. She calls Carter, but he's in a limo with Beth's brothers. Uh oh.

Nate gives Bree the old heave ho and it turns out Blair and Dorota have given Georgina a fake prince. I must have missed an episode, I don't really get that. Somebody help a sister out in the comments.

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10/19/2009, 12:19 am

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Re: Gossip Girl season 3 recap

From Zap2it By Lisa Todorovich

Tonight on "Gossip Girl," Vanessa got in touch with her inner Blair -- and Olivia got caught in the crossfire of an inexplicable battle over a toast at the freshman dinner. Serena played -- and lost -- a high-stakes poker game. And Chuck kissed a guy. Rock on.

When Vanessa turns up as the subject of a puff piece on the front page of the NYU newspaper, it's clear she's in the running for the honor of giving the toast at the freshman dinner during parents' weekend. It's between her and another girl, which we're led to believe is Blair but really turns out to be Olivia (Hilary Duff) -- which Vanessa doesn't know until after she's encouraged Dan to bring her to the dinner to meet his parents.

With me so far? Still care? OK. So Blair starts in with her normal nonsense about how she's more entitled to give the toast than Vanessa, and when the alumni liaison turns her down she immediately hatches an evil plan against him -- enlisting Chuck to help her get what's coming to her. Oh, if only she'd actually get what's coming to her. They're going to resume their "other girl" game from the summer, except that the alumni liaison is Chuck's target now -- and Blair uses the kiss to force the guy into giving her the speech.

Hands down the best part of the entire exchange is Chuck jumping right in. Which brings me to the part where I once again sing Chuck's praises. Seriously, can we dump the rest of these doinks and just have a Chuck Bass show? Who wouldn't want that?

Vanessa invites her disapproving mother (Gina Torres) to come and see her give the speech -- and we have to hear a whole bunch of malarkey about how her father was too busy installing solar panels on the chicken coop to come, and how they've been just swamped organizing the union for the Burlington cheesemakers (Burlington Cheesemakers -- a great band name if ever there was one). V's mother also uses only agave sweetener in her homemade jam, doesn't worship at the altar of shallow Hollywood celebrity, and disapproves of Vanessa attending a private school, because knowledge should not be for sale. As if public universities don't charge tuition.

The speech means a lot to Vanessa, to the point where she lets Blair get under her skin and sells bogus stories to both Dan and Olivia in an attempt to get them not to come. Hijinks ensue, including Vanessa getting Blair to explain at length exactly why she's better than everyone else, while she has an open mic in her purse that broadcasts the festival of obnoxia to the crowd at large. It's all out of character for Vanessa, though I like the fact that she's grown some claws, her necklace is spectacular, and someone seems to have fixed her hair weave. But she predictably goes back to the high road and is nice to Blair in the end.

Blair's minion-leading, dynasty protecting attitude of entitlement is so old -- it's insanely boring, and if I were Leighton Meester I'd be asking why everyone but me seems to be able to have some kind of character arc or development. Even Chuck shouldn't be able to stand this girl.

On to Serena and Nate, a.k.a. Dumb and Dumber. Nate's working on his cousin Tripp's congressional campaign and trying to fight off the attack ads that the Buckley family has bought against him. He's also hatched a plan to try to get Carter out of what amounts to his restitution to the Buckley family -- working on an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico -- which Serena vows she will not let happen. Right. Because an actual day's work would just be tragic -- the equivalent of a Guantanamo sentence at least. Please.

So Nate stakes Serena in a high falutin' poker game run by Bree's cousin P.J. to settle Carter's debt and essentially buy his freedom -- and he's convinced it's the right thing to do because Bree told him all of P.J.'s tells. After Serena loses not one but two $25,000 buy-ins, Nate raises the stakes with a photo of Tripp with a great big bong at his bachelor party -- a death knell for his political career for sure (seriously?).

Serena loses, and later finds out that the photo was fake -- Nate was setting up the Buckleys. Sure it's a stupid plan, but Nate does get to utter more than three sentences, so it's a victory for him. Puffed up with moral outrage, Serena tells P.J. what's up, and the Buckley family, grateful to avoid such scandal, lets Carter off the hook. But someone seems to have slipped Carter an integrity pill, because he refuses her help and wants to take responsibility for his actions -- even if it means (gasp!) manual labor.

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10/20/2009, 3:14 pm

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