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toddcross
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Mid life crisis or realization
Tomorrow I turn 38. That's not anything special but thinking back and reflecting on my life I begin to see something that seems a bit surprising. I can't think of anything in my life worth living for. Now this isn't a cry for help or some masked attempt at pity. I just can't think of anything in my life. Sure I have my parents but beyond that it's a vast chasm of nothing. It's a hard reality to understand and I am sure I have some blame in this. It's really a mystery to me. But I'm sure these thoughts will continue on from now into my 40's 50's and possibly 60's.
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10/13/2009, 6:58 pm
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Spikosauropod
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Re: Mid life crisis or realization
It seems to me that you are measuring the value of your life from an external viewpoint. I used to do that, but then I realized something. The most valuable thing a person can have is their privacy, their anonymity, and time to enjoy both.
Look at a person like George Clooney or Barbara Streisand. No matter where they go, they will be recognized. They can’t just go to a mall or a park, blend in, and enjoy their surroundings. No matter where they go, it will always be about them. I, on the other hand, can disappear into a crowd. When I go out into the world, it is there for me—I am not there for it.
The most precious time I have is when I sit alone in a warm comfortable room with my computer humming while I browse the internet and watch TV. When I do this, the whole world is my servant.
As for contributing, that is just a lot of malarkey. If you are poor and obscure, you have a minimal carbon footprint. That is the best gift you can give to the world of humans. If you are worried about other life forms, then kill yourself. The penguins and salmon don’t need you.
Think about it.
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Spikosaur, of the Uncircumcised Umbrella, Prophet to The Collectors, OA, RMC
Hail Apostle Paul
Praise to Founder Bunny
Glory to the Objects
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10/13/2009, 10:11 pm
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Rollerball
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Re: Mid life crisis or realization
For 99.99999999...% of humanity it's exactly the same. We can't all be family guy cowboy astronauts, we can't all be Oscar winning film stars, we can't all be the occupant. It's normal to think this way and get depressed about it, because of the way the media bombards us with unachievable exaggerated extremes. Easy thing to do is make a mark personal to you, carve your name in a tree, plant a tree, simply get published, be it a poem in a newspaper, a letter, an article or story. Self publish online, media in all its forms. Give to help others even the smallest amount, helping people to get clean water, children to have safe sanctuary. Volunteer and do good works. Travel. Whatever satisfies that need and fills your space. I think of myself as a total nobody and am pretty content with that, I could have done far better but I took my choices, have my regrets and looking back I'd probably do it all again. No matter of my dreams of fame through my various interests, in the end I'm happier having my total anonymity and peace. You're not alone and far far from it.
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10/14/2009, 6:48 am
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Cattrina
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Re: Mid life crisis or realization
You can only win, if you have nothing to loose.
Everyone are aiming for the 1,5 half kids, husband/wife, a house in calm neighbourhood, big family car and a regular day job.
Been there, done that, and it was a dead-end.
Now started over in a new town. Nothing can stop me from enjoying life.
Stop lookings backwards. Look out the window, pic something you see and go for it.
Last edited by Cattrina, 10/14/2009, 8:59 am
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10/14/2009, 8:58 am
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paulv70
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Re: Mid life crisis or realization
I hear what you're saying. I've often looked back at my 41 years and asked myself "Have I accomplished anything?" or "Would the world really notice if I was gone?" The answer to both is yes, but not as much as I'd like. That's why I try to do something each day to contribute and you've done that. The insights and interests you've expressed right here have affected all who've read them to one degree or another. Be proud of both the little things and the big things you've done and remember that each day brings new possibilities. Get up each morning and say to yourself "This is the good one." If it isn't then tomorrow will be.
You should also remember to allow yourself to feel sad or depressed when things are hard and there's certainly nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it.
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10/14/2009, 9:43 am
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Spikosauropod
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Re: Mid life crisis or realization
quote:
That's why I try to do something each day to contribute and you've done that. The insights and interests you've expressed right here have affected all who've read them to one degree or another.
Paul makes a really good point. Just by getting us to have this conversation you have probably made a difference to someone somewhere. Even if all you have done is get one of us to think a little more so that we have a better answer the next time, you may ultimately have changed the course of the world—you know, the butterfly effect.
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Spikosaur, of the Uncircumcised Umbrella, Prophet to The Collectors, OA, RMC
Hail Apostle Paul
Praise to Founder Bunny
Glory to the Objects
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10/14/2009, 1:29 pm
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toddcross
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Re: Mid life crisis or realization
I have to admit that you guys have given me a truly wonderful birthday gift by rallying together to cheer me up and give me insight to take stock in the life I have. In each life a little rain must fall and you guys have given me an umbrella.
Thanks.
And congratulations to Paul for getting a picture in the new Wizard magazine.
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10/14/2009, 2:22 pm
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paulv70
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Re: Mid life crisis or realization
Thanks Todd, for everything, and Happy Birthday!
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10/14/2009, 2:32 pm
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paulv70
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Re: Mid life crisis or realization
Yup. After 5 years of sending in my pics for the annual Halloween Costume Contest they finally printed one.
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10/14/2009, 7:59 pm
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