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tedthebear
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Joke of the day....
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
There was a long black hearse, followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet back. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit-bull on a leash. Behind him was a line of about 200 men walking in single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog. "I am sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single file. Whose funeral is it?
The man replied, "Well, the first hearse is for my wife"
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered "My Mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Yah, but you’ll have to get in line".
---
The Bear
"When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it."
The PHB
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Oct/17/06, 11:34 am
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tranders
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Re: Joke of the day....
That is hillarious. 
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"Too much of anything is bad,but too much of good whiskey is barely enough".
Mark Twain
Rob
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Oct/17/06, 2:13 pm
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Johnnycake
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Re: Joke of the day....
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!
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"If you can't send money, send tobacco." -George Washington to
the Continental Congress, 1776
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Oct/17/06, 8:23 pm
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DAWGR
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Re: Joke of the day....
Too funny................
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Oct/18/06, 2:43 pm
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tedthebear
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Re: Joke of the day....
OK...how about this one...
Elephant's Memory
A man was on holiday in Kenya. While he was walking through the bush, he came across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.
As carefully and as gently as he could he removed the thorn and the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.
For years after, the man remembered the elephant and the events of that day.
One day the man was walking through the zoo with his son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they were standing at the rail. It stared at him, and the
man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. After awhile it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.
The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.
.......probably wasn't the same elephant.
---
The Bear
"When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it."
The PHB
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Oct/18/06, 3:06 pm
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dixon hill
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Re: Joke of the day....
Yeah, 'cause an elephant never forgets.
You're a pretty funny guy Ted. What blend are you smoking when you think of these jokes?
--Scott
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Scott
"If it is true, as Nietzsche said, that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it; it is equally true that those who do remember the past may not know when it's over." Lane Kirkland
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Oct/18/06, 7:27 pm
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tedthebear
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Re: Joke of the day....
Frog Across The Pond, Scott.....
Now it's your turn! What's the "joke of the day" from the mile high??? 
---
The Bear
"When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it."
The PHB
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Oct/18/06, 8:42 pm
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dixon hill
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Re: Joke of the day....
This is from my 15 year old:
How do you know you're getting old?...You have dry dreams and wet farts.
Kids today, no respect for their elders.
--Scott
---
Scott
"If it is true, as Nietzsche said, that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it; it is equally true that those who do remember the past may not know when it's over." Lane Kirkland
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Oct/18/06, 8:51 pm
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