Jimbo44
Forum member
Global user
Registered: 02-2008
Posts: 1745
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Ambiguity
1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.....
2. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
3. ATHEISM IS A NON‑PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS
AND APES?
5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL
THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, 'WHERE'S THE SELF‑HELP
SECTION?' SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
8. IF A DEAF PERSON SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED
A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO 'GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?'
12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE
WILL CLEAN THEM?
16. If A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED? OR BOTH?
17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO
REMAIN SILENT?
19. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
20. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
21. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
22. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
23. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE
HUNGRY?
24. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
25. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE AN 'S'
IN IT?
26. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED 'HEMORRHOIDS' INSTEAD OF 'ASSTEROIDS' ?
27. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
28. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
---
Work is the curse of the smoking classes
|
|
Jul/2/09, 2:51 am
|
Send Email to Jimbo44
Send PM to Jimbo44
ICQ
AIM
|
peterwd
Forum member
Global user
Registered: 02-2008
Location: UK
Posts: 440
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Ambiguity
Great, Jim.
Do you use those in Court. 
---
Lang May Your Lum Reek.
|
|
Jul/2/09, 7:45 am
|
Send Email to peterwd
Send PM to peterwd
|
tedthebear
Head Administrator
Global user
Registered: 02-2005
Location: The Missouri Ozark hills...
Posts: 4840
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Ambiguity
Love them....thanks! I think I can use some...around here it'd make me look like a phillose...phylese...fillosa....deep thinker!
---
The Bear
"When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it."
The PHB
|
|
Jul/2/09, 9:19 am
|
Send Email to tedthebear
Send PM to tedthebear
|
