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dixon hill
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Profiles...
I always enjoy learning about the folks with whom I'm chatting. By reading a number of the posts, I've learned some about you folks, so I'll share a little about me...
I live in Denver, Colorado. Just moved into a townhouse on the old Stapleton airport which has been converted to a sustainable community. My goal was to never walk behind a lawn mower again. Seems I've mowed lawns almost every year between April and October since I was 13. It gets old.
I'm 53 and married (since March) to the love of my life. Her psychic says we've been married in 17 other lifetimes, so hopefully we've got this down; though I'm not sure one ever gets marriage--and parenting--down. Speaking of parenting, I've got 2 boys--one 18 and one 13. Camille (my wife) has a one year old grand daughter, so I'm experiencing the joys of her as well.
I'm a public policy consultant working with a local think tank that focuses on collaborative problem solving for regional communities. I've been in the public sector most of my life. I work from home, with occasional travel for various projects.
I enjoy family events, reading and the University of Denver hockey team, which by the way, are the current NCAA champs; and, of course, smoking pipes.
Best,
Scott
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Scott
"If it is true, as Nietzsche said, that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it; it is equally true that those who do remember the past may not know when it's over." Lane Kirkland
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Nov/26/04, 1:58 pm
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regor
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Re: Profiles...
I got married the first time in1965 and divorced 2 years later. Stayed single till I was 38. I had a heck of alot of fun in the 60,70, and part of the 80's. Met my wife in June and got married in Aug. I became a husband, father and grandfather all at the same time. It was quite a change in life styles LOL. Couldn't be happier with her. We do have some major health problems but that has brought us closer together and we are slowly getting better LOL BTW I am 59 now 
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Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away!(From a friend P.H.)
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Nov/26/04, 3:36 pm
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dixon hill
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Re: Profiles...
Regor...Thanks for the replies to all the posts. If you don't mind I'll respond here. Sounds as if you and your wife had a whirlwind courtship...as did my wife and me. I guess when you know it's right, you act. It sounds as if you and your wife are right.
That statistic about talking with your spouse just 35 minutes a week is terrifying. But I can understand it. My first marriage was just like that...kids, work, routines seem to take all our time. And we didn't really make the effort. This time it's different. I can't imagine not talking with Camille every day for hours. I think the smoking and coffee on the deck or in the office slows us down to listen to and enjoy each other. I shared your routine of morning coffee with your wife with Camille and she got teary eyed. She's a therapist specializing in families in crisis, so she really appreciated the effort you two make; as did I.
Thanks for sharing; it's actually pretty comforting to know that others out there face the same challenges and are making the effort. As we say in our house, marriage is hard work, and you've got to be willing to do the work.
Best,
Scott
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Scott
"If it is true, as Nietzsche said, that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it; it is equally true that those who do remember the past may not know when it's over." Lane Kirkland
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Nov/26/04, 6:35 pm
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Smokingood
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Re: Profiles...
Scott,
Why didn't you just buy a lawn tractor?  I can hardly walk much of the time and if not for my tractor, there's no way I could take care of both my mother's and my lawns.
I signed my papers from divorcing my 3rd wife on my 30th birthday, lost my second home, knew I had to pay 17-1/2 years child support plus the fact that I was raising a daughter from another marriage that I got custody of when she was 11 months old. Given that or having been married 17 times in other lives with no divorce costs, I would go your route next time.  As you know, there's nothing better than being happy with someone you love and that loves you and nothing more miserable than being with someone you don't love or are not happy with. I'm glad that you (and regor) have found the ladies that makes you happy and hope it lasts until the end of your years on this planet.
My oldest daughter will be 26 next March, my step daughter that I raised with no child support from her father just turned 26 and my youngest daughter is now almost 20. We raise my step daughter's daughter (turned 9 last Sat.) and have had her since birth. My stepdaughter also has two other kids and a step son. My daughter has two kids ages 7 &8 and they stay here much of the time.
Talking about short courtships, Brenda and I have been together for a little over 16 years now and had met each other twice when she and her daughter moved in with my daughter and me. We lived in a large apaprtment complex where the kids could walk out of my door, down the stairs, then about 25 feet and was on school property. I had moved there because of being a single parent and not having to drive my daughter to school in the mornings and she only stayed home for about an hour until I got home from work. Anyway, our daughters was friends with each other in school and decided to hook each of their single parents up so they could live together. I met Brenda one time for about 30 minutes and the next time I saw her about a week later she told me they had to move. I asked where and she didn't know. It turned out her husband was not paying any child support or providing any other monies and she couldn't afford to pay everything. Her car was in both their names and had also broken down. Hell, I felt sorry for her so told her she could move in with us in our townhouse and we would see how it worked out. I had a car and a van so I let her drive the car. Well, here we are over 16 years, many situations and many, many miles later but we are still making it. Between three marriages by the time I was 30 I didn't have but five years total between all three of them so I suppose this has been a little better.
What type of problems do you solve for communities? That sounds like an interesting job.
regor,
I had lots of fun in the 60's, 70's and 80's too but was also married during some of those times.  Man, I know about the health issues. This past August was 5 (or 6) years longer than what my docs predicted I would live so I suppose I'm not doing too bad all things considered.
Larry
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Smoking one bowl at a time one day at a time.
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Nov/26/04, 8:26 pm
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regor
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Re: Profiles...
Isn't it great to make liars out of the doctors LOL. When we beat the odds It gives us a smile in out hearts. My wife and I only went out on two dates before we got married. We both knew that we were willing to put forth the efford to make the marriage work. Of course we knew that therre was no gaurenty(sp). Getting divorces and having a marriage break up is one heck of a rough thing to go through. It always seems to me that one door doesn't shut unless another opens. There sure are time when its rough finding that other door. My wife and just agreed not to give up at all and we have become alot closer than I've seen in most other peoples lives. I think we have become stronger people because of some of the troubles we have faced and defeated. The talks and visits in the morning are some great times and often we laugh at some thing and that sure helps, The funny thing is, we are opposits in the way we lived and grew up but we sure seem like we were made for each other. I'm an old retired hippy that wish he was still in the 60's most of the time LOL, I can't remember some of the other things LOL. It also helps to talk about to people that you have something in common with that is important to you. Hope you all have a great day!!!
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Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away!(From a friend P.H.)
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Nov/27/04, 8:16 am
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dixon hill
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Re: Profiles...
Larry & Regor...
Larry...The point wasn't a lawn mower vs. a tractor, it was not mowing the damn lawn! I'm not a putter around the house type. I grew up in a military family and we moved every three years. It wasn't until I was a teen that we lived in a house rather than military quarters on base. So I never got the attachment to home projects that others may have.
Can't say I've had the opportunity to avoid divorce costs. I walked away from a big house and lot's of dough in savings to get out of a bad marriage. My ex is a lawyer and she has not been satisfied with just getting the "marriage assests" I think she's after my blood as well. We just had a hearing last week to modify child support as she makes well into 6 figures and I don't. What a bloodbath. I'm really learning alot about the legal system. For inistance it can decide issues about how things can be divided (money, time, etc.) but it can't decide how people will behave toward each other. I often joke that I thought getting divorced would be hard; I'm finding being divorced is really hard. Thank goodness I've got Camille to help me through this. She's been incredibly supportive when she really doesn't have to be.
Congrats Larry on beating the odds from the docs. Sounds like some higher being over ruled them and felt you deserved more time.
Regor, I like the thought about doors closing and opening. And you're right that sometimes it's a challenge to find that other door to open. Camille and I are very different as well. She's the retired hippie in our family; I'm the retired Army brat. Maybe that's what it takes; they say opposites attract. Maybe like magnetic poles it takes the opposite not just to attract but to stick together.
Larry you asked about the community problems I work on. I work for a non-profit "think tank" here in Denver where we try and bring various folks in a metropolitan region together to develop the strategies for addressing their critical problems...Could be economic development (jobs), education, transportation, racial issues, etc. Usually pretty complex issues where just one organization or jurisdiction can't resolve them on their own. It's very interesting and cutting edge stuff.
Hope you guys' day is going well. We're bracing for about 3 - 5 inches of white stuff this weekend. Perfect for sitting back, smoking a pipe with strong hot coffee and watching it happen. Another good thing about living in a townhouse...The HOA shovels the walk.
Best,
Scott
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Scott
"If it is true, as Nietzsche said, that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it; it is equally true that those who do remember the past may not know when it's over." Lane Kirkland
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Nov/27/04, 1:21 pm
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Smokingood
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Re: Profiles...
Heh-heh. A couple of times when I was a single parent and my daughter was very young, one of the reasons for my apartment living was the same as yours, no yard work. I used to have a half acre garden at one of my houses and these days just have some potted plants down here in my space in the world that I maintain.
Your job sounds extremely interesting, diversified and also rewarding when the results are evident. Hope things continue to go well in your endeavors with that.
Divorce? Did someone mention divorce with not only not having a pot to pee in but not even enough money to buy water needed to make the pee? Been there, done that as the saying goes. Couldn't wear the t-shirt though for lack of funds. LOL My last wife was a blood sucker and more vengeful than anyone I've ever known that I had to deal with for 17-1/2 years of pure torture. After I lost my house in the second divorce, I saved and bought another one for my daughter and me. Did it matter that it was mine before I met her? Of course not. When I told the judge that it was already mine and my wife was already living with her very wealthy parents, he said that she should have her own home for her and the daughter I had with her. I said but what about me and the daughter I have custody of? He said to buy another house if I had enough money after child support and full medical bills. She always jerked me around on visitation so one time I took her to court for violating the divorce decree and the judge slapped her on the wrist and then doubled my damn child support. Needless to say I didn't do that again. She used to save medical bills for a couple of years and then hit me with them at one time. In '94 I had to pay almost $8,000.00 two days before Christmas. Just so she wouldn't get it before Christmas I was going to stay in jail instead of paying and because of my health and all of the expensive medications I take, they wouldn't even let me go to jail. Now when you can't go to jail it's pretty bad. LOL. The first time she held back medical bills she took me to court to get the money and I didn't even know I owed it. My lawyer told the judge all of that and I asked the judge why I couldn't get the bills as they occured and I would pay them immediately. He told me that she could save them until the day before my daughter turned 18 and hit me with them all at one time if she wanted to. A couple of years after the Christmas deal, she hit me hard again and used that money as a down payment on a new custom built home for her and her 12 year younger than her husband. Back in the 90's I went to pick up my daughter one day and my ex had all of a sudden grown some very large breasts. She asked me how do I like them since I had paid for them and I told her I didn't like them when we was together and didn't like them then either. These kinds of things could go on and on but I'll stop here. She was back during my heavy drinking days and distorted view of what pleasure was but gave me a good education in what pure pain and torture is.
As for old hippies, about 3 years ago my grandchildren was looking through some old pics and saw one of me when I was in my teens and had hair trimmed at my elbows. They thought it was so cool and asked me to grow it out again. I was wearing little more than a flat top type haircut at the time and went from there to where I am today with it almost at my elbows again. I keep it trimmed a few inches above the elbows and keep it in a ponytail. I no longer work or go many places and since I have always hated sitting in a barber shop listening to the old geezers wasting so much time to pay too much for a haircut, the long hair suits me just fine. Every once in a while I get tired of it and threaten to cut it but the grandkids say please don't so I just keep it long. When I go to their schoold, parties or their friends may be over, all of them think it's so cool for me to have long hair. Of course if I started going to a barbershop again, I would be one of the old geezers that people didn't want to hear.
One thing I like about Georgia is that we don't often have snow or too much ice but it's pouring rain right now and has been off and on for the last few days almost to the flooding stages in some areas. What state do you live in?
Larry
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Smoking one bowl at a time one day at a time.
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Nov/27/04, 1:57 pm
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dixon hill
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Re: Profiles...
Larry..Well your story rings familiar...too familiar actually. My biggest challenge is to conduct myself with honor and in keeping with my values rather than go down to my ex's level. It's a challenge though.
My hair isn't quite as long as yours; primarily because I don't have much of it. I've made up for the lack of hair on top by hair on my face. My gray beard gives folks the impression that I may be wiser than I actually am. My 18 year old son, though, just cut his hair which was about as long as yours. He ended up with two 13 inch braids that he donated to Locks of Love, a group that uses donated hair to make wigs for cancer patients.
I live in Colorado. Denver doesn't get as much snow as the mountain communities, but we get our share. It's OK, except when you have to drive in it and deal with other drivers who aren't used to snow; or those driving huge SUVs that think they can go anywhere at any speed and not endanger the rest of us.
--Scott
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Scott
"If it is true, as Nietzsche said, that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it; it is equally true that those who do remember the past may not know when it's over." Lane Kirkland
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Nov/27/04, 3:28 pm
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regor
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Re: Profiles...
I live in what is called the high desert. Iam 16 miles from Tombstone. We are at 4700 ft and we do get snow once sometimes twice a year and boy do I love it. You can go outside and enjoy the beauty of it and 2 or 3 hours later its gone, Some of the dirt roads are alittle muddy but thats all. I just think its hillarious to go out and see snow covered cactus and a snow covered burrow. She is a great pet and we treat her just like we do our 3 dogs and they all get along very very well, even the UPS guy gets a kick out of them and has become friends with them. I do look for the little funny things like that in life LOL
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Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away!(From a friend P.H.)
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Nov/28/04, 2:09 pm
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Smokingood
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If not for the small and naturally funny things in life, I wouldn't have any fun at all since my traveling days are over. We take the kids and my mother on a couple trips to Florida each year but that's about it.
Be sure the burrow and dogs stay nice to the UPS man because I've got a feeling when he shows up there's more pipes and/or baccy in the packages.
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Nov/28/04, 2:36 pm
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