Lost Ear
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The Centaur
Sorry it's so long. You have to remember to read it in a John Wayne accent.
Um... Well, I was born from my mom. When I got old they found I was really strong. But they also told me I was kinda retarded so I left. One day, when I got older, I met a man who told me he needed help to get through the woods. I lived in the woods so I sad well ok. and we went.
Some other guys showed up one day, and my friend said that we needed to go to to this town which was a long way away. I said well ok and started walking. Well then we saw this big pig and I think he was sick or somethin' because he was lookin mighty upset. So I tied the pig to me and ran back to town. Some man thar said he could help the pig, so he did, but it was still tied to me and it ran that-a-way. Well I ran this-a-way and we didn't go far. After a while of not going far the people came back and took their ugly pig.
The we kept walking and I was leading because I knew to follow the water. But well, one day these fishpeople came outta the water and started trying to kill us! I said oh this isn't going to happen and I cut them to little bits with my soword. That's where I got my bow. I don't use it much.
Then we were sleeping by a road at the night and then the wall opened. Well here comes outta a rock a buncha guys and some slaves. See now I know that slaves are bad. Or no, yeah, um... yeah it's the people who have the slaves are bad... I think. Well anyway I got really really mad and cut up a short guy. See now all the sudden he turned blue and stopped moving, so I kept cutting him. Finally all of the sudden he stopped being blue and exploded. Then I noticed that the guy behind me got huge so I went to smash him. Then I couldn't move. For a long time. And then there was a loud noise and I died.
When I was alive again we left town and got on a boat. I don't much like boats. They said I would have to pay more but nobody asked me for money and my friend payed I think. I had a lot of money.
Well then my friend told me we were goin to some place out thar called The Crystal Kingdom. I thought that sounded kinda cold but I didn't wanna be back on the boat so we went.
On the way we saw a bunch of guys. They looked like demons, and smelled like demons, and my friend told me that they were demons, but I don't believe that demons exist, so I ran up and over them then the one who didn't die then I hit with my sword and like i said, they were not demons but dwarfs. I told them they weren't demons.
When we got to the crystal kingdom it was probably the most horrible place I have ever been. There were demons everywhere. Well, people who were looking like demons at least. And we had to go meet one of the big demons and ask him what happened to our brains. Well that night this halfling told me I couldn't sleep in the stables. He said he was offendid. I'm pretty sure he was more retarded than me. I went and slept at Kord's house then, I figgured he could keep me safe from these people pretending to be demons.
Well, then we left and had to go back on a boat to some town, and we stayed there for a while and did stuff, then we went back to the demon place and they made me some really powerfull armor. Even though it was demon made I decided to wear it because they had made it special for me, and I didn't wanna offend them like I had offended the halfling with the bird thing.
We went back on another boat, but this one was under water. There was a halfling there who said I couldn't trample him, so I wanted to show him that he was wrong I could trample anything, but then his friend hit me and I heard a loud noise and I couldn't move again.
After a while we got back to the town where I woke up after I had died, and we asked for the cultists. Nobody wanted to tell us but then one did. We told him that the cultists had stolen our brains and he said we needed to go to a place and ask for it back. So we went to this house out in a field, and my cat friend tried to be sneaky in it. There was something about a tea party and somebody not having feet, but then we saw some orcs so I tried to kill them, but my friend blew them up with fire too quick.
We decided not to be sneaky anymore, and I kicked in the front door and saw an old man. I grabbed him because he didn't have any weapons and that halfling who had made it so I couldn't move didn't have any weapons either, so then I picked him up and hit him on the head. They say I killed him but I think he was just knocked out. Well, I hope he was, because he was old, and well I just think he was sleeping.
We ran up the stairs and found another man, not as old, and I went up and grabbed him too. I was really mad. Well he talked and talked and my friend made him our friend too, so he said he would teleport us to where our brains were. Then we were on this bridge, and there were two doors, and neither would open. After a day or more, I lost count, these guys came out the door, so my friend started saying how we needed to see their boss and I said yeah to get our brains back and then they made this wind monster attack me but I cut it up and then then ran away and we flew away because my friend told me I could.
That night we found some giants, and we made them our friends, and they took us back to see the great mother. She was a dragon. I never seen a dragon before but then I decided that I wanted to kill one some day. My friend made her our friend and she gave us some things and told us how to get our brains back. So we went to where she said and there was a man and we told him some stuff and he gave us some stuff and then we went back to where the bridge was but this time we opened the other door. There was dark and some small guys, but then we went upstairs and there was a dragon. Not as big as the great mother but, well actually not much bigger than me. But we made him our friend too and he helped us kill some ogres. Well, the dragon killed two and I killed four. Then we told the dragon we would have to kill him too and so we did. I took his teeth.
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2/19/2009, 1:47 pm
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Lost Ear
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Re: The Centaur
We went through some traps which really hurt but then we found this man with things on his face and he said he had our brains. Well he tried to explode my head but I flew to him and cut him in half, and we took our brains back. My friend told me that this man was really powerfull so I took his face things and the dragons fangs and made a trophy necklace.
When we were walking back to town these demons showed up and told us that we had killed their old man. I felt back because I knew that I had killed their old man, but then they tried to kill us and I got really mad. Well my friends cat went up and exploded one of them, so they grabbed the cat and my friend reminded me that I could fly sometimes and I went up to catch it. Then Trisha shot at me when I had gotten the cat back and it didn't hurt at all but then I realized that that was because I had died.
I don't remember much after that, except for that I was a halfling for a while. It was weird. But then there was a loud noise and a really scarry thing and I died.
I was a centaur again though when I cam back.
We were supposed to find some guys and tell them to leave, so we did. One was easy to find, but he said he wasn't going to leave, so the others were gnomes, and they tought me which hand was my right hand, and they said they would leave and take the other guy. There was some things about something called base one, but I was too big to really fit in there, so It was really boring. At least, the lady there told me I was too big to fit into the place where giant needles stab into your head. I was kinda happy I was so big right then.
My friends who looked different now said that we had to go kill some drow so I said ok, and we went to kill some. Well when we got to their house there were some demons there and so we tried to kill them all, but this one drow who was pretending to be a demon with a huge chain hit me really hard and there was a loud noise and I died.
When I was alive again we did some stuff in a city, I'm not sure what one, but they all kinda look t the same anyway. We had to walk through the woods for some reason, because we were teleporting which one of my friend had learned how to do, and then there were these kobolds and a gnome. They were acting really dumb and I remembered how kobolds had killed me when I was a halfling, so we attacked them. Well I killed two before they could do anything, and I almost had the gnome but he said he would kill my family and disapeared.
We were in a huge tent one day later and this man came up to me and had a bag, he said don't open it for a while so I didn't, but when I did I saw the heads of my family. All of my family. I was sad so I burried the bag and vowed to kill the stupid gnome who was named Namkin.
Then there was a pirate and he had captured some elves so we had to go save them, well we found more than a pirate actually we found a bunch. And we found crush, he was a pirate too.
We took a boat underwater and all the pirates said that they didn't have the elves, but the elves kept saying that the pirates had them, so we went to this island underwater and found some demons and pirates I think, maybe they were both. Or just pirates pretending to be demons, but we killed them, but not before I got really really scarred and ran away. And the dwarf died but he came back later, and so then we got the elves back and left. Well then the elves said that there were more elves who had been taken to the underwater island so we had to save them again. Elves get taken alot. Maybe it's because they are all so whimpy. But we teleported in and I killed some guys, and then some guys knew exactly where to stab me and I was really scarred but then I died.
Later when I was alive again we had to go get the other elves, so wen went back again, but this time there were only four little red gnomes. We didn't fight them but we did fight two big bug things, well I wasn't afraid of them this time so I killed them, and then there were a bunch of pirates, and I killed some of them even though my sword didn't tell me that they were evil. I threw some at eachother and then the rest back onto the ship because I remembered I could fly sometimes again, and me and the dwarf hid. Later we were rescued by our elf friend and we got back to the city, but they told us to leave, so we did, but then it was night and we saw this lady and she had crush with her.
Crush got really big. He also got sort of like a bear, and sort of like a metal man. Well I didn't want to kill him, because I had decided that he was my friend, but he seemed to want to kill me. Well he took a giant hammer thing out of his hand and hit me with it, but I was too mad to care now, I tried to trip him with my giant chain but he wouldn't fall down, after he hit me two times I ran and told the woman that I gave up and didn't want to fight crush. She just ran away like my friends had and crush hit me, there was a loud nose and I died.
Again sorry it's so long.
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2/19/2009, 1:47 pm
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