Michael Wulf
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Registered: 10-2005
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 Does it grab your attention?
I am finishing up a novel that I hope to have published.
One of the biggest tips I have received from published writers is that the first chapter must engage the reader and really pull them in.
I am looking for some feedback on the first chapter of my story and hopeful that it fits the bill.
If you are willing, please have a read and offer me some of your thoughts.
I value honesty and depth more than praise...
http://www.havenshade.com/writing/lament_opening.html
Please realize that the story is not polished yet. I am not looking for a grammatical critique, just some feedback on whether or not you would buy and read it, what about it engages you, what about it turns off your interest.
Happy scribing!
Last edited by Michael Wulf, 10/12/2005, 2:57 am
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Writing: HavenShade (NaNoWriMo)
Reading: The Tower at Stoney Wood (McKillip)
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10/12/2005, 2:54 am
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SFGirl
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Re: Does it grab your attention?
Hi Michael,
It definitely grabbed my attention. I want to know more about these folks, strange ones all, and what they're doing. Good job!
If I had to make a criticism, I'd say maybe condense the opening paragraphs a bit. While I like the style of the introduction and I love the "Man Bristling with Things", it might benefit from getting to the interaction with the woman a little more quickly.
The main thing, however, is that I do want to know more, so you've started with a good hook.
Sherry
--- Reading: Celtika by Robert Holdstock
Rewriting: One's Aspect To The Sun (novel)
Writing: The Book of All Fictive Things http://fictivethings.blogspot.com |
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10/15/2005, 8:44 pm
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Michael Wulf
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Re: Does it grab your attention?
Thanks Sherry and congrats on your award. That should make an excellent selling point for publishing future works.
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Writing: HavenShade (NaNoWriMo)
Reading: The Tower at Stoney Wood (McKillip)
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6/26/2006, 5:12 pm
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Michael Wulf
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Re: Does it grab your attention?
I gave this some time to settle, then took a second run at it:
http://www.havenshade.com/writing/lament_opening2.html
I think it is starting to shape up nicely.
Last edited by Michael Wulf, 7/5/2006, 3:19 pm
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Writing: HavenShade (NaNoWriMo)
Reading: The Tower at Stoney Wood (McKillip)
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7/5/2006, 3:18 pm
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McDoogle
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Re: Does it grab your attention?
For one thing, Michael W, your link is broken.
That's not much of a grabber!
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Now Race Reading vs. nephew: Furies Of Calderon
Slightly Writing: 'Resume for a Gladiator' (2005 novel)
Watching: Pushing Daisies (X- Canceled!!)
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3/28/2009, 9:45 am
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