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Helium gas
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 Helium unearthed
Helium, the second most abundant element in the universe, was discovered on the sun before it was found on the earth. Helium makes up about 0.0005% of the earth's atmosphere. This trace amount of helium is not gravitationally bound to the earth and is constantly lost to space.
There is but a single individual on this board who is capable of recognizing the one, true, genuine Helium--against all the imposter Helium and ill-tempered pretenders to Helium's wonderful lightness.
That individual is the Produce Manager, known by many aliases and banned by The Spoof more times than Barbara Walters' lisp has been imitated. With the mention of that name, I am sure Produce will be happy to eagerly step forward and personally validate my identity---without revealing the contents of any past private email content.
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6/6/2007, 8:15 am
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produce
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Re: Helium unearthed
quote:
Helium gas wrote:
Helium, the second most abundant element in the universe, was discovered on the sun before it was found on the earth. Helium makes up about 0.0005% of the earth's atmosphere. This trace amount of helium is not gravitationally bound to the earth and is constantly lost to space.
There is but a single individual on this board who is capable of recognizing the one, true, genuine Helium--against all the imposter Helium and ill-tempered pretenders to Helium's wonderful lightness.
That individual is the Produce Manager, known by many aliases and banned by The Spoof more times than Barbara Walters' lisp has been imitated. With the mention of that name, I am sure Produce will be happy to eagerly step forward and personally validate my identity---without revealing the contents of any past private email content.
Welcome "second most abundant element in the known universe" ..
DARNED good Helium impersonation if it is indeed yet another Helium impersonation. Best I've seen so far. Ever.
I'm not giving away anything private that 's not public www knowledge here.
, folks IF you have any old Spoof forum archives or know about the wayback machine or know how to click Google CACHE .. check out the real Helium's posts at the OLD Spoof forum from days gone by.
Look specifically for "--"s between words.
That's not a confidential revelation
"second most abundant element in the known universe" ..
Old public Spoof forum posts by the real Helium are all over the w (www) along with all my favorite Mz Bank's BRITNEY stories which if you ARE the real Helium .. vaporized like a Borg vaporizing an extra on an away mission with Picard on the late Star Trek the next Generation .. poof
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6/7/2007, 7:06 pm
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Melium Truce
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 Re: Helium unearthed
quote:
Helium gas wrote:
Helium, the second most abundant element in the universe, was discovered on the sun before it was found on the earth. Helium makes up about 0.0005% of the earth's atmosphere. This trace amount of helium is not gravitationally bound to the earth and is constantly lost to space.
There is but a single individual on this board who is capable of recognizing the one, true, genuine Helium--against all the imposter Helium and ill-tempered pretenders to Helium's wonderful lightness.
That individual is the Produce Manager, known by many aliases and banned by The Spoof more times than Barbara Walters' lisp has been imitated. With the mention of that name, I am sure Produce will be happy to eagerly step forward and personally validate my identity---without revealing the contents of any past private email content.
As we can all see that Produce is neither "happy" nor "eager," I must stand at this point in the show and announce that I Am, in fact, Helium. So get a life, my little minions, and don't lose any precious sleep over this one.
---
It's clear that I'm a just , fair, and overly swell guy
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6/9/2007, 8:36 am
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produce
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Re: Helium unearthed
quote:
Melium Truce wrote:
quote:
Helium gas wrote:
Helium, the second most abundant element in the universe, was discovered on the sun before it was found on the earth. Helium makes up about 0.0005% of the earth's atmosphere. This trace amount of helium is not gravitationally bound to the earth and is constantly lost to space.
There is but a single individual on this board who is capable of recognizing the one, true, genuine Helium--against all the imposter Helium and ill-tempered pretenders to Helium's wonderful lightness.
That individual is the Produce Manager, known by many aliases and banned by The Spoof more times than Barbara Walters' lisp has been imitated. With the mention of that name, I am sure Produce will be happy to eagerly step forward and personally validate my identity---without revealing the contents of any past private email content.
As we can all see that Produce is neither "happy" nor "eager," I must stand at this point in the show and announce that I Am, in fact, Helium. So get a life, my little minions, and don't lose any precious sleep over this one.
Sadly, Melium, looking at the evidence laid out, I hate to break all our bubbles but ..
there's a 75% chance that you are NOT the real Helium so,
As on American Idol .. SOMEBODY'S going HOME next week who will it be?
Melium
or
Helium Gas?
Like with Sanjaya,
I don't think Helium Gas is leaving just yet.
MELIUM -> 
SIMON -> THAT impersonation was HORRENDOUS Melium I am not at all pleased with it.
PAULA -> You did .. your BEST Melium that's what counts. (insert Paula smiley face .. here)
RANDY -> WAY TO GO DOGG! Only, DOG? In places dog it didn't quite WORK for me the whole
dialog thing all these years I'm sorry.
AUDIENCE -> YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
(the idol audience goes yaaa if a pin drops)
(free tickets there and all they'll applaud Bin Laden if he appears on stage with
his camel girl friend .. free tickets to Hollywood and all)
Last edited by produce, 6/9/2007, 9:27 am
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6/9/2007, 9:10 am
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Helium gas
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Re: Helium unearthed
I can very easily verify my identity.
ANYONE can simply log onto their Spoof account and send "Helium" a private message. Yes, I still have my account active there.
If you wish, leave a simple number or coded word in your private message to Helium.
I will read my message and replicate the code over here.
Of course, Mellium should not bother with that...
...he ALREADY knows he is a complete phoney and a loser.
Last edited by Helium gas, 6/9/2007, 11:00 am
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6/9/2007, 10:32 am
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Melium Truce
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Re: Helium unearthed
quote:
Helium gas wrote:
I can very easily verify my identity.
ANYONE can simply log onto their Spoof account and send "Helium" a private message. Yes, I still have my account active there.
If you wish, leave a simple number or coded word in your private message to Helium.
I will read my message and replicate the code over here.
Of course, Mellium should not bother with that...
...he ALREADY knows he is a complete phoney and a loser.
That's a mean thing to call your own wife, Gene, you fat-headed maladjusted 3-timin' ninny! You just wait until I fix your supper.
---
It's clear that I'm a just , fair, and overly swell guy
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6/9/2007, 12:09 pm
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produce
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Re: Helium unearthed
quote:
Helium gas wrote:
I can very easily verify my identity.
ANYONE can simply log onto their Spoof account and send "Helium" a private message.
Unfortunately most folks here don't HAVE Spoof accounts .. that's why this site exists.
(see Mz Jenna's welcome message from years ago she created this place, invited us).
If I had at least one active Spoof account I might try it.
Even Flash Nitrate doesn't exist because you banned him for posting an external
link in the forum.
(Mark? Paul? Is that LEGAL now? Apparently)
This proof test has to be performed by real Spoof writers (which are here) ..
M&S? Jman? They're the only real Spoof writers here with accounts that I know of.
The rest of us ..
banned
Last edited by produce, 6/9/2007, 5:44 pm
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6/9/2007, 5:25 pm
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Jalapenoman
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Re: Helium unearthed
Sure, I'll send the letter sometime this weekend for you, Mr. Produce (who is now masquerading as the Sri Dattaswammi, if my suspiciouns are correct.)
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6/9/2007, 6:10 pm
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Helium gas
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Re: Helium unearthed
NEWS BULLETIN: VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY WAS ARRESTED TODAY AFTER WALKING INTO THE OVAL OFFICE AND TELLING PRESIDENT BUSH: "Hey fruity guy, your mother wears army boots and your father is a vegetable!" MR. CHENEY IS BEING HELD IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION SOMEWHERE ON THE EASTERN SEABOARD. END.
Last edited by Helium gas, 6/9/2007, 6:57 pm
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6/9/2007, 6:56 pm
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Jalapenoman
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Re: Helium unearthed
Produce,
He got the message right. I sent the line starting with "Hey Fruity Guy (meaning you, the produce man) and ending with the word "vegetable." I sent it to the writer "Helium" thru the message line of the Spoof.
The line was quoted correctly and in it's entirety.
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6/9/2007, 7:00 pm
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