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produce
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Re: Helium unearthed
quote:
Jalapenoman wrote:
Sure, I'll send the letter sometime this weekend for you, Mr. Produce (who is now masquerading as the Sri Dattaswammi, if my suspiciouns are correct.)
remember Jman, IF I ever write again at the Spoof you'll hear about it first. Interesting character that Dattaswammi.
I have no access to the Spoof so I've no idea what you folks are talking about in the writer's forum. Thx for doing the test. If Helium responds to you well .. done deal?
We've got the real Helium here?
At this point I'm pretty sure but folks are still debating about the existence of God (check your local out of control public religious debate Spoof thread). I tune in mainly to see you folks go at it. That thread.
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6/9/2007, 7:02 pm
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produce
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Re: Helium unearthed
quote:
Jalapenoman wrote:
Produce,
He got the message right. I sent the line starting with "Hey Fruity Guy (meaning you, the produce man) and ending with the word "vegetable." I sent it to the writer "Helium" thru the message line of the Spoof.
The line was quoted correctly and in it's entirety.
This is scary stuff here Jman.
What's your take on it? Is the real Helium really here? Seems to me kind of hard to fake what you just got back.
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6/9/2007, 7:04 pm
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Helium gas
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Re: Helium unearthed
Oh, look: Melium is so embarrassed now!
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6/9/2007, 8:55 pm
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Melium Truce
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Re: Helium unearthed
quote:
Helium gas wrote:
Oh, look: Melium is so embarrassed now!
And that coming from the biggest chicken $hit ever to embarrass himself at the Spoof, as well as in his personal life.
---
It's clear that I'm a just , fair, and overly swell guy
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6/9/2007, 10:50 pm
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produce
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Re: Helium unearthed
quote:
Melium Truce wrote:
quote:
Helium gas wrote:
Oh, look: Melium is so embarrassed now!
And that coming from the biggest chicken $hit ever to embarrass himself at the Spoof, as well as in his personal life.
Kind of a let down Melium, discovering that you really are not Helium.
Forget what Simon said about your performance (he hates everybody). You really DID do a credible job keeping us (me included) wondering all these years all the way up til .. YESTERDAY in fact.
Now our job is to discover who YOU are .. a disgruntled banned ex-spoof writer I suspect.
Welcome to the club.
Last edited by produce, 6/10/2007, 5:44 am
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6/10/2007, 5:39 am
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Helium gas
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Re: Helium unearthed
Now that I've so easily managed to destroy what passed for pathetic fun on this circle-jerk of a website, I think I'll just mosey on back to the table they have reserved for me down at Sleepy Willie's Disco Cafe. Morgan Truce is supposed to meet me there later this afternoon. She's been helping me write a new animated gif to use as an avatar on the many websites I occasionally drop in on. That Morgan is still a pretty hot item considering how many years she just sat in that typing pool. Really great legs, you know.
Besides my various editing duties at the scholarly journals you are all familiar with, I still manage to put in several hours every day at my laboratory. I believe I am on the verge of discovering yet another inert gas.
Remember that large umbrella stand from the old Spoof office? I have it up for sale on eBay now. The bidding has been going well. Anyone who wants to get their hands on some real Spoof memorabilia, still has a chance to get their bid in.
Stop by at Sleepy Willie's for a chat anytime,
H
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6/10/2007, 7:18 am
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produce
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Re: Helium unearthed
quote:
Helium gas wrote:
Now that I've so easily managed to destroy what passed for pathetic fun on this circle-jerk of a website, I think I'll just mosey on back to the table they have reserved for me down at Sleepy Willie's Disco Cafe.
H
Well, there you have it folks.. You HAD your chance, the real Helium here for you to ask anything you darned well pleased.
Now he's gone. May NEVER come back. Don't say the opp never opp'ted Mr Deadwords. He was here for days even.
At least Me and Melium ("Melium and I" for you editors out there syntax checking) got to chat with ..
"the most abundant element in the known universe"
: (
Last edited by produce, 6/10/2007, 11:18 am
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6/10/2007, 11:17 am
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MorganTruce
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Re: Helium unearthed
I was supposed to meet Helium down at the cafe, but he didn't show up. Oh dear! He mentioned that he had an appointment over here earlier in the day and I see that he was here for a while.
Does anyone have any idea where he went?
This is probably not a place for a proper lady to hang out in, so I'll just wait outside with Professor Nouveau in my car.
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6/11/2007, 7:45 pm
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Morgan Truce
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Re: Helium unearthed
I'm sorry dearest, I'm afraid this little charade is all but over.
Absolutely everyone here, 'ceptin' Master Produce, knows we are from the same gene pool, and awaken to the very same sad single solitary cuppa joe each morn.
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6/11/2007, 9:49 pm
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MorganTruce
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Re: Helium unearthed
Last night when I rang the doorbell at this place, I was very surprised to see that someone was using my name "Morgan Truce" so I told the doorman that my name was "MorganTruce" and he let me right in. But make no mistake about it, I am the one and only Morgan Truce who works at the Moxie soda company, drives a 1935 Nash, has a fetish for Professor Art Nouveau, and writes for the Spoof.
Reading back in this thread, I see that Helium also had to deal with someone who was pretending to be him. I guess we can settle the problem of this "Morgan Truce" impersonator in the same way Helium outed his impersonator. Just send me a private message at the Spoof with some kind of coded cipher. But there's really no need to go through all that cipher nonsense: anyone reading the message above this one can plainly see that it was written by that Balderdash fellow. No one else would ravage the English language with non-words such as ceptin and cuppa. Of course, remember that at the Spoof I have a long history of writing as "Morgan Truce"--the only reporter who still submits typewritten copy.
As anyone can plainly see, the similarity between me today and my baby picture is unmistakeable.
I guess I should also share with all of you the sad news about my mother's passing. The Professor and I attended her funeral up in Buffalo last month. The viewing was held in the wee hours of the morning so that all her streetwalker friends could get one last look at her. Afterwards two of them invited us over to their favorite $10 hotel for a quiet little party which I and Professor Nouveau enjoyed very much.
Florence is the one with the high boots. She showed me quite a few tricks---which I probably shouldn't go into great detail about here on a public forum, but if anyone really wants to know about that, they can just chat with me privately over at the Spoof.
Last edited by MorganTruce, 6/12/2007, 9:23 am
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6/12/2007, 5:26 am
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