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darvijen
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Re: Obituaries
Hot shiite, JJ...
While watching episode eight of Dead Like Me (a wonderful show, do you happen to watch it?) I thought - gee, wouldn't obits be a great thing to satirize?
About the only idea I could think of is writing an obit that is anything but flattering to the recently deceased. Descriptions of freak accidents resulting in death.
Mr. So and So was found dead yesterday at a Holiday Inn, where it's believed he spent the night with his 22 year old secretary...
Donations in Ms. So and So's name can be made to Gambler's Anonymous, of which she wasn't a member, I'd bet my life on it.
---
Sometimes I wake up horny. Other times I just let him sleep.
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9/25/2004, 1:31 am
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JJ Jogolo
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Re: Obituaries
quote:
darvijen wrote:
Hot shiite, JJ...
While watching episode eight of Dead Like Me (a wonderful show, do you happen to watch it?) I thought - gee, wouldn't obits be a great thing to satirize?
About the only idea I could think of is writing an obit that is anything but flattering to the recently deceased. Descriptions of freak accidents resulting in death.
Mr. So and So was found dead yesterday at a Holiday Inn, where it's believed he spent the night with his 22 year old secretary...
Donations in Ms. So and So's name can be made to Gambler's Anonymous, of which she wasn't a member, I'd bet my life on it.
Can't say that I've ever heard of "Dead Like Me" - though, it sounds like a show I would be interested in. I have only 2 television shows I frequent:
1st - is Jeopardy - I am trying to get an interview to get on this one.
2nd - is Joan of Arcadia - I'm really into lifes spirirtual aspects and this show, while it borders on being a "chick flick" type, has caught my attention. It seems to hit on some serious issues... but I'm babbling... sorry.
Oh did I ever mention that I was on "Wheel of Fortune" back in 1983? It's true... I think I set the record for "Bankrupts" and "Lose Your Turns" - I won nothing but parting gifts which turned out to be about $200 in cash and a case of Kraft Macoroni and Cheese. Wow huh?
As for the Obits - the ideas you came up with are about all I could think of too... hence the post here. Let's see how Russus does on this one. He's got a good mellon on his vine.
--- JJ
Crop Circles R-US
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9/25/2004, 1:47 am
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darvijen
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Re: Obituaries
quote:
JJ Jogolo wrote:
Can't say that I've ever heard of "Dead Like Me" - though, it sounds like a show I would be interested in.
It's a dark comedy about this 18 year old girl who becomes a grim reaper. She gets killed but instead of passing onto the other side, she has to stick around earth reaping souls - which means she takes people's souls out of their body before they kick the bucket. It's on showtime, Sunday nights.
Possibly the best show on TV, but I don't watch network TV. I'm also a bit Six Feet Under fan. SFU is a bit more serious, tho. DLM is just downright hilarious at times.
quote:
1st - is Jeopardy - I am trying to get an interview to get on this one.
Is that Ken Jennings guy still winning? I don't get to watch Jeopardy all that often. But I do enjoy it when I get to.
quote:
2nd - is Joan of Arcadia
I've never seen it, but hear good things about it. What's it about? And when's it on? I'm thinking it's on Fridays, or was at one time. I can't watch anything on Fridays, unfortunately because I work.
quote:
Oh did I ever mention that I was on "Wheel of Fortune" back in 1983? It's true... I think I set the record for "Bankrupts" and "Lose Your Turns" - I won nothing but parting gifts which turned out to be about $200 in cash and a case of Kraft Macoroni and Cheese. Wow huh?
Heh, cool. You were on Wheel back when Vanna had to actually turn the letters. Remember that? Pat Sajack was probably about 11.
About the only time I watch gameshows is at work - Wheel is a big hit for my older customers at the bar. Jeopardy... not so much of a hit because they can't keep up. The big favorite, tho, is Millionaire, with Meredith, not Regis.
---
Sometimes I wake up horny. Other times I just let him sleep.
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9/25/2004, 1:59 am
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briannabanks
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Re: Obituaries
quote:
JJ Jogolo wrote:
I could use some ideas on an obituaries page
Here's a couple for ya, JJ:
'Here lies Jennifer Gardner
Slipped on a banana and was buried by her pardner
This monument was erected by her father and costs just 250 dollars from his shop on 8th St.'
'Here lies the body of our dear Brianna,
Done to death by a split banana
It wasn't the fault of the fruit that dealt the blow
But the skin of the friggin' thing that laid her low'
This stone was raised to Miranda
Not her many vices to record
For they're well known by all the town
No, Lord; it was raised to keep her down!'
'Here lies Jenny Lickle,
A sweet young thing but rather fickle,
She played with fire once too often
And was killed by an extra large pickle.'
'Stranger rejoice:
This tomb holds Marylou Young
Who on May 5th 1857 at last
Began to hold her tongue'
'Jennifer, sorrowing,
Reared these marble slabs
to her dearest John
Who died of eating little crabs'
'Stranger pause
and shed a tear:
for Jennifer lies buried here
Mingled in a most surprising manner
with Jenna, Joy and portions of Brianna'
'Brianna Banks has gone to rest
and now reclines on Abraham's breast:
Peace at last for Brianna Banks
But not for father Abraham'.
Ya kin credit me if ya like!
;-)
Last edited by briannabanks, 9/25/2004, 9:42 am
---
Bree
without nipples breasts would be pointless
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9/25/2004, 9:41 am
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produce
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Re: Obituaries
good banana obit but how many miles do you
think that would fly past spoof? Banana?
Come on .. implied .. stuff .. we can't have
that here on the spoof especially with what you folks secretly got away with right under our noses with that kevin beaver brit stunt you pulled this summer before we
YANKED YOU 
How about this instead for the sake of
spoof friendliness? How about ..
IVAN .. DEAD .. FINALLY !
or .. is he?
(insert Swaun of the Dead .mp3 here)
I swear if I got even a few drops of rain from that system here in Austin I'd sell em on
ebay for 5 bucks a shot ..
genuine Hurricane Ivan rain. I'd put one drop
in a little glad bag, sell it.
IVAN .. DEAD.
almost.
Last edited by produce, 9/25/2004, 10:03 am
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9/25/2004, 9:58 am
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briannabanks
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Re: Obituaries
quote:
produce wrote:
good banana obit but how many miles do you
think that would fly past spoof? Banana?
Hey - fark the Spliff! JJ wanted it for his site not that pile of horse****.
Anyway, what's wrong with a gal liking bananas?
I betcha Mrs Proddy has peeled a few in her time.
---
Bree
without nipples breasts would be pointless
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9/25/2004, 10:08 am
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produce
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Re: Obituaries
YOU win an air guitar Mz Banks. This is a
hobby of mine, finding words and phrases that
Google knows diddly about. You win with
Your search - "fark the Spliff" - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
- Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
- Try different keywords.
- Try more general keywords.
Fark the Spliff. Sounds like a track Elton
John's working on on his new
"Vile Rude Pigs" cd.
Mz Jenna can do the guitar presentation honors. Too bad JJ that FARKtheSPLIFF is not an easy dotcom name. Has a ring to it though.
How about FARKspliff.com ?
Last edited by produce, 9/25/2004, 11:31 am
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9/25/2004, 11:18 am
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Bob Deadwords
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Re: Obituaries
Speaking of Jenna, PM, is she on vacation?
---
listening is like reading, without the strain
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9/25/2004, 4:51 pm
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produce
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Re: Obituaries
quote:
Bob Deadwords wrote:
Speaking of Jenna, PM, is she on vacation?
Let me refer that most timely query to my associate ..
Darvijen???
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9/25/2004, 5:29 pm
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