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produce
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Re: BBC Writing Competition
quote:
russus wrote:
A (n?) hispanic man is found dead in a dumpster in downtown New York. Meanwhile, in a seemingly unrelated incident, a top surgeon is found in his office overdosed on prescription drugs. Only a fat, bald, grumpy detective and his whipper snapper partner (with the troubled past) can get to the bottom of the mystery.
Don't know how you british folks do it but you do it. You must be born with some kind of comic gene. The synopsis sounds like a UK version of our bumbling Columbo.
There IS a link between that N.Y. dumpster and the upscale doc's office.
Prescription Nutrasweet maybe?
Please make the bumbling columbo a big, fat BEAN type character.
You'll win for sure.
Last edited by produce, 3/8/2005, 3:09 pm
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3/8/2005, 2:54 pm
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russus
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Re: BBC Writing Competition
But you are aware that I wrote the intro to just about every episode of NYPD Blue right?
Perhaps if I'd added...
----
Then a battery of drums sounds, followed by the tempered wail of a saxaphone. Heart rendering images of New York with all it's diversity, all it's culture make us realise that despite the crime and doldrums you've got to love America, wih it's quirky but honest and caring people. Democracy breeds diversity. Sweeping shots of the statue of Liberty remind us of the morals of the founding fathers, truth, honesty, integrity. Morals that let that gimp in the leather mask and pink feather boa walk down the street for his morning paper, should the fancy take him. The same morals held up today by New Yorks Finest.
INTERIOR APPARTMENT
YANKOWITZ kicks foot of deceased.
YANKOWITZ: Time of death?
GREEN: Oh Eight Twenty-one.
YANKOWITZ: Who do I have to suck off to get a coffee around here?
GREEN: That guy over there.
CUT TO DETECTIVE #1, on other side of room, who waves and then eagerly holds up Thermos flask, Questioningly.
etc
----
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3/21/2005, 1:14 am
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briannabanks
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Re: BBC Writing Competition
quote:
russus wrote:
Perhaps if I'd added...
----
INTERIOR APPARTMENT
YANKOWITZ kicks foot of deceased.
YANKOWITZ: Time of death?
GREEN: Oh Eight Twenty-one.
YANKOWITZ: Who do I have to suck off to get a coffee around here?
GREEN: That guy over there.
CUT TO DETECTIVE #1, on other side of room, who waves and then eagerly holds up Thermos flask, Questioningly.
----
YANKOWITZ: I aint sucking BOSLEY!
GREEN: Everyone else has, man. Why do you think ya'll the only one without a cup of coffee in his hands?
Heads swivel around as a stunning, six foot two blonde with legs that go on forever and green eyes that could melt terylene at 400 yards, sashays into the room and hitchin' her black micro skirt up her tanned thighs, parks her pretty butt on an ornate, antique desk and sips a cup of coffee.
WOMAN: I aint sucked Bosley and I got me a coffee.
YANKOWITZ: Yeah? By the amount of cream on your lips sugar, I reckon you've blown the entire precinct.
WOMAN: It's 'Lootenant Bankside' to YOU, JERKOWITZ. You wanna get you fat ass off that chair and explain what your hunting knife is doing in that poor schmuck's back?
GREEN: (astonished) Jeez, Bree, how'n the hell did you know that's Jerko -- ah, I mean Officer Yankowitz's knife?
BANKSIDE: Cos I'm a detective, Green, and you're a dumb rookie who couldn't find his ass with both hands if I gave you a map. Close your mouth Jerkowitz, you'll swallow somethin'nasty if you keep it open.
YANKOWITZ: Stop calling me that!
BANKSIDE: Start behaving like a cop and not a prick and I won't have to.
YANKOWITZ: I dunno, boss and that's the Gawd's honest truth. I lost that knife playing poker with some the guys last week.
BANKSIDE: Yeah?
YANKOWITZ: Yeah!
BANKSIDE:[climbs down from the desk and walks over to Yankowitz. She towers over him by a good four inches and stares down into his twitching face]and grabs his balls. YEAH!?
GREEN: (wincing at the sight). Hey, leave him alone, boss. I can vouch for him. I was there."
BANKSIDE: (Giving Yankowitz's fruits a final, vicious twist). Yeah? That would kinda explain something that's been puzzling me about this case.."
BOSLEY: (Nervously) Wh-What's that, Ch -Chief?"
BANKSIDE: Why this guy died with a such a big smile on his face."
etc...
next?
;-)
---
Bree
without nipples breasts would be pointless
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3/21/2005, 11:19 am
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produce
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Re: BBC Writing Competition
I don't think the sHeliums would let this evolving story through "as-is".
Perhaps if you folks back up to the
"suck off" part, REMOVE THAT, then
perhaps
replace it with a nice, refreshing Google friendly PG-11 rated reference to
"Moxie Soda"
Make those changes and it might just pass. Remember boys and/or girls
to run that obscenity checker before resubmitting your final draft.
"Helium"
Editor
Last edited by produce, 3/21/2005, 5:20 pm
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3/21/2005, 1:06 pm
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briannabanks
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Re: BBC Writing Competition
So are none of you guys gonna continue with this story? Aintcha got no balls? ;-)
Last edited by briannabanks, 3/23/2005, 6:12 am
---
Bree
without nipples breasts would be pointless
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3/23/2005, 6:11 am
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warmntight
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Re: BBC Writing Competition
..........
BANKSIDE: (Giving Yankowitz's fruits a final, vicious twist). Yeah? That would kinda explain something that's been puzzling me about this case.."
BOSLEY: (Nervously) Wh-What's that, Ch -Chief?"
BANKSIDE: Why this guy died with a such a big smile on his face."
etc...
next?
;-)
Rockie runs into the room, hands Bankside a note and whispers into ear.)
Bankside: (loud voice) Everybody! Let's move!
(Everyone quickly gather their things and rush down stairs to their vechicles, police siren come on and chase begins)
Meanwhile, back at headquarters....
etc...
next?
;-)
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4/17/2005, 7:17 pm
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