Jermbry
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Registered: 04-2005
Posts: 106
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Mistaken words
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
> words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?
>
> Testimonials of a few people who did.
>
> 1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
> and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a
> blow-job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My
> husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
>
> 2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
> was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After rowsing for
> several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
> who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without
> thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's
> balls."
>
> 3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
> variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
> boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No,
> I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
> hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
> This my sister has never let me forget.
>
> 4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
> release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab
> hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
> patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she
> would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in
> a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I'll
> tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!". The
> silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the
> tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my
> dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last
> thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
>
> 5. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
> three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was
> on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
> in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
> enjoying my taco,
> I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old
> daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to
> go
> potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I
> kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I don't have
> any
> clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you sure you didn't have an
> accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an
> accident,
> because the smell was getting worse. So, I asked one more time, "Danny,
> did
> you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
> bent
> over and spread his cheeks and yelled: "SEE MOM,IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While
> 30
> people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up
> his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me
> for
> the best laugh they'd ever had!
>
> 6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a
> very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely
> think before she speaks. Here's what happens when you predict snow but
> don't get any. A true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day
> after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the
> weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me
> last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew
> did too, they were laughing so hard!
>
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May/26/05, 12:56
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Jermbry
New Member
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Registered: 04-2005
Posts: 106
Karma: 1 (+1/-0)
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Re: Mistaken words
Hmmm number 6 is your favorite. J is a very lucky man. 
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May/26/05, 15:54
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