Nalaniangel24
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Registered: 04-2004
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Second Thoughts
Second Thoughts
by Nalaniangel
rated PG for drunkness
Summary: Brennan and his girlfriend argue about their future and their daughter.
Are you having second thoughts?
I know he knows I'm about to ask him. He's sitting on the bed just waiting until I'm brave enough to ask. He knows I'm on my last nerve with him.
"Haha?1" my little daughter asks, walking in unsteadily. She just figured out how to get out of her bed. Brennan said he would build her a new one.
"Nan desu ka2," I ask back. She doesn't answer me, but sits down on the floor.
"Are you going to build her bed?" I ask.
"Maybe," he answers.
"When?"
"When I get to it," he says.
"Are you ever going to get to it?" I ask. "Are you having second thoughts?"
There, I said it. He stands up and walks out. I don't know how they do it in America, but in Japan, you're supposed to answer.
I pick up Ikuyo and take her back to bed. She passes out in my arms. I love my daughter more than anything. When I was on vacation and met Brennan, I fell in love. We had sex and I ended up pregnant. He never knew because I was back in Japan before I found out. Then I moved to where he lived a year later and we got together again. But now I'm not sure he even loves his daughter, much less me. If he loved me, he wouldn't come home drunk and women wouldn't walk up to me on the street and tell me that Brennan had come on to them.
I walk into my room and look around. I half expect him to be in bed waiting, but he isn't there. He's probably at a bar somewhere.
He's having second thoughts, I think as I drift off to sleep.
"Seiko! Anata wa doko desu ka3," Brennan shouts.
I immediately wake up. Ikuyo is starting to cry. He's shouting at me in Japanese just to piss me off. He knows I don't like fighting when my baby's in the house, and if we do, it's always in English so that she can't understand, although she probably couldn't in Japanese either.
"That's it," I mutter, running into the kitchen where he is.
"Seiko," he says, drunk. "I've been thinking."
"Me too," I say. "You're leaving."
"Huh?" he asks.
"You know the most important think to me is Ikuyo. I can't let you live here if you're going to be like this. Listen! She's crying."
"Because you're shouting."
"Because she wants her parents and they're in the kitchen fighting because one came home drunk!" I shout.
Ikuyo is crying even louder now.
"You want me to go?"" Brennan asks.
"Yes!" I shout.
Brennan walks off again.
I walk to my child. She calls back asleep when I pick her up out of her crib. I hold her against me chest, whispering to her how much I love her.
More than Brennan.
More than life.
One day she'll ask who her father is.
I plan on looking her in the eye and telling her that he's dead.
1: Mommy?
2: What?
3: Seiko! Where are you?
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4/24/2004, 8:40 pm
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