Nalaniangel24
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The Future is Now
The Future is Now
by Nalaniangel
rated PG 13 for death, murder, cussing, and rape
Summary: Brennan wakes up from a coma 18 months in the future. Is there room for him on the team still- or in shalimar's heart?
Chapter 1
"I heard she's been sick every morning."
"You don't think-"
"I've been getting some strange feelings from Shal. If she's pregnant, which makes sense, her and John are going to have a lot to work out."
"If she tells him."
"Jesse!"
Emma's faint voice filtered through my mind like I was underwater. Struggling to open my eyes, everything I saw was fuzzy. Suddenly, I heard a gasp and footsteps coming from my direction. \I was only asleep, what's the big deal?\ I wondered.
"Brennan? Are you awake?" Emma shouted from somewhere above me.
"Yeah," I answered groggily. "How long have I been out?"
Emma glanced behind her and in a few seconds Jesse appeared next to her. I tried to sit up or move at all, but it was too hard.
"How long have I been out?" I asked again.
The two looked uncertainly at each other again. Emma opened her mouth to speak, but Jesse shook his head, stopping her.
"I'm not sure how much we should tell him right away," he cautioned. She nodded.
I looked around, finding myself lying on a bed in the med lab. Everything looked a little different, but it was probably from my blurry vision. I blinked a few times to no avail.
"Where's Adam?" I asked.
Another glance. Jesse looked down at me unsurely, looking as helpless as I had ever seen him.
"What's going on?" I demanded. "Where's Adam?"
"He's not here right now," Emma said gently, placing her hand on my forehead. **Just relax**
I jerked away, her hand pulling back. "What the hell was that?" I shouted. The words she had just spoken had sounded like they were inside my mind.
"Sorry," she mumbled. "I forgot you weren't-"
"Emma," Jesse snapped quickly, shutting her up.
"What is going on!" I shouted, finding enough strength to stumble out of bed. Jesse immediately grabbed my arm securely. I tried to pull away, but like he must have known, I ran out of energy and collapsed.
**Sleep now. We'll tell you more later.** I heard inside my mind.
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4/24/2004, 8:30 pm
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Re: The Future is Now
Chapter 2
Before I opened my eyes, I knew what was going on. I felt stronger than I had before and I easily sat up. Feeling completely grounded, I dared to open my blurry eyes.
"That’s better," I muttered. Lines and colours still blurred, but I could make everything out. I was still in the med lab, but nobody was there this time. \It's time for some answers\ I decided. There was a computer a few yards away and with some effort I got to it.
"Enter name of patient," I read from the prompt on the screen. I typed in Brennan Mulwray and pressed enter. "Type of search," it asked. Three choices came up. I clicked on 'Most Current Entry'. Immediately, my information came up.
Name: Brennan Mulwray
Date: September 3
Record: Entered by Dr. Adam Kane. Brennan has been in a coma for 15 months today. Additional tests have shown that he will most likely not wake up and if he does, he will have considerable brain damage. I can't help but feel responsible for this. 27 years ago, I created his problem.
"Brennan," I heard behind me. I turned to see Emma. I knew she didn't want me to be up, and I braced myself for a long speech. To my surprise, she wordlessly walked up and wrapped her arms around me. Unsurely, I wrapped my arms around her as well, wondering what this was all about. It felt like years until she finally pulled back and looked up at me, her tear filled eyes showing nothing but relief.
I looked down at her wanting to help, but I had too many questions in my own mind.
"Ask me," Emma told me. "I know what you read on the computer and I know you're confused."
"How? You're only telempathic," I pointed out.
Emma moved back and walked over to the bed I had been lying on. She motioned for me to sit next to her, but I stood in front of her instead. She took a deep breath and looked my straight in the eyes. "I became telepathic a few months ago."
"Why don't I remember?" I demanded.
"Because," she said, trailing off. She broke eye contact and diverted to the floor. I must have been radiating emotions or thoughts because she looked overwhelmed and uncomfortable. "You know why!" she finally shouted, looking straight into me.
I turned back away and reread the computer screen. "Because I've been in a coma? For 15 months?" I guessed cynically, but my heart was in my throat. \Please tell me I'm wrong\ I shouted inside.
"No," she whispered. Relief flooded me, but she took it away in a phrase I'll never forget as long as I live. "It's been 18 months."
"No," I stated, refusing to believe it. "I have NOT been in a coma for a year and a half."
"I’m sorry," Emma whispered.
"No!" I shouted again. "I don't believe you!"
"Believe it," she told me, standing up. Emma reached out a hand to me but I didn't take it. She expected that and didn't look hurt that I didn't move. She dropped it and nodded as if confirming a fear inside of her mind.
"No," I said, so low that I could barely hear myself. "I'm going to leave this lab and I'll prove you wrong."
Heart pounding, I ran out of the lab in almost a panic. \This isn't right!\ I shouted to myself. \Something is very wrong.\ The layout was the same in the main hall, but the gardens were landscaped differently, a computer station had been moved to a different side, the pictures above the stairs were different. Afraid to move another step in fear that I might be slapped with this awful truth, but drawn to the pictures, I painstakingly moved the steps to the staircase. My heartbeat resonated throughout my body, my chest heaved, my stomach was in my chest, anticipation and dread ran it's cold fingers on my skin. As I neared, my throat closed up and it became a struggle to breathe in. I never thought I would get to the pictures, but before I was ready, I was face to face with them.
The first was of a Chinese character written in calligraphy meaning prosperity. The picture next to it was of a birthday party. 'Happy 27th Birthday Shalimar' was written on a banner. Emma, Shalimar, Jesse, and another man were posed around a cake.
"Shalimar's only 25," I whispered.
"17 months ago she was," Emma said behind me.
"And who's the other guy? Where's Adam?"
She didn't answer and I moved onto the third of four pictures. It was the character for love. Next to it was a black and white picture of me. I turned to Emma and raised my eyebrows expectantly.
She shook her head slightly and tightened her lips defiantly, but I could see it pained her to keep it from me.
"Emma, if I believe you, which I'm still not sure I do, I think I need to know. Who is this guy?" I asked, more gently.
Tears began to stream down her face as she finally lifted her eyes to me. "John Cordova," she whispered.
"Who's John Cordova?" I asked.
"An elemental," she told me. "Like you."
"How do you know him?" I asked. Emma drew back. \Not this again I thought\ then remembered she could now read my thoughts. She looked at me, like she had, but didn't do anything. She looked helpless too, like Jesse the day before. "How do you know him!" I shouted again. \Another elemental at Sanctuary- no please no-\
"We tried!" she shouted back, the pain wrenching her voice. "But we were too weak, we couldn't fight without you. Just because you were in a coma didn't stop the bad guys from coming. Nuclear bomb threats, bio-terrorism, a new GSA opening up bringing agents and being run by someone more insane than Eckhart and Ashlocke put together. We needed help."
"And John is my replacement," I said, filling it all in.
"Brennan, please understand! We were all about to die and we were being attacked from all sides. When we rescued John from a cult trying to sacrifice him as a mutant offering and brought him back to Sanctuary, well he just fit."
"I was replaced."
"You were in a coma!" she shouted.
It was lucid and surreal at the same time. I had gone to sleep one night and woken up a year and a half later, and every hole I had left with my absence was already filled.
"I'm so sorry, Brennan," Emma whispered, she walked towards me and hugged me again. Despite how angry I was, I could feel how relieved and happy she was to see me again. \She's been waiting a year and a half\ I realized. And she didn't know if I would ever wake up again.
"What's with all the shouting?" I heard as someone walked in. My breath of life, the star I strived for, Shalimar was here. If anyone could make me feel like I belong, she could. She seemed to have some kind of power over me. She could calm me and make me understand. Her feelings and actions towards me could even out anything she had to tell me. My safe place, the one I knew I could turn to no matter what. If this was true, that I had been in a coma, Shalimar was the one who could make me think it didn't matter.
"Shalimar," I whispered.
"Brennan?" she asked, slowly walking towards Emma and me. Emma pulled back and looked behind her. Shalimar started walking faster, then running towards me. She practically leapt up and wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me so fiercely that I was about to choke. It felt so strange to have not seen somebody for what feels like one day, but to know to them it's a reunion they have waited for for 18 months. "Oh God, I've missed you so much."
Somehow, I knew I had gone a year and a half without Shalimar in my arms and I never wanted to let her go.
Finally, although it took a lot of effort, she willed herself to let go of me. "It feels like if I stop looking at you, you'll disappear," she whispered.
I looked into her eyes, her gorgeous eyes, full of tears and could think of only one thing to say. "You're beautiful."
She smiled a little and rested her head on my chest. "I missed you. You don't know how much I missed you."
Even though I never could have missed Shal in the same way she missed me, it felt good to have her in my arms. It felt better than good. It was as if somehow, even though I couldn't remember those 18 months, I could feel that she had been missing from my life for that long. I hugged her close, relishing every second I could be close enough to feel her warmth, smell her hair, and feel her chest rise and fall against mine. She cried softly, most likely out of relief and happiness at seeing me again.
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4/24/2004, 8:32 pm
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Nalaniangel24
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Re: The Future is Now
"Shalimar."
She flinched, but nobody would have known by looking at her; I could feel the slight tense of her muscles against my body. I looked past her into the eyes of a stranger. The man in the picture. My replacement.
"Hey, your friend finally woke up," he said, walking towards us ****ily. He stopped a few meters short of us. Shalimar still hadn't turned around. I could feel something growing in her: dread, anticipation, nervousness.
"Who are you?" I asked, less rudely than I had meant it.
"The question is, who are you?" he asked me. Just by looking at him I could tell he was egotistical. His demeanor screamed that he made himself the center of attention. That type of attitude always set me off.
I worked my jaw a little. I was angry at the fact that I had been replaced. No, I was angry at the fact that I was missing 18 months of my life.
"Go to hell." Shalimar jerked away from me, shocked. I looked down at her; she was obviously hurt. There was something going on here that I didn’t understand.
"Get your hands offa my woman!" he shouted at me. He reached over and grabbed Shalimar by the arm, tearing her off of me. She stumbled back. Satisfied that the man would be severely punished because he tried to control Shal, I searched her eyes for the fiery passion that had consumed her in my yesterday. Her feral eyes didn't flash yellow, but stayed their natural beautiful color, if not a little duller. She obediently fell into place next to this man, the name John came to mind, like a little dog. It disgusted me. Shalimar refused to look up and meet my eyes. I wondered how much of that was in embarrassment and how much was in obedience to John.
We stood like that for a long time and even in my still blurred vision, I could see a battle line being slowly drawn between us. Emma walked up behind me and escorted me back to the med lab.
I lied in the bed, staring at the ceiling, for an eternity. Yesterday... yesterday was hard to remember. But I could remember playing basketball with Jesse and helping Emma cook dinner. She opened a new sack of flour and it flew up everywhere. Her skin was whiter than Eckhart's. But what felt like yesterday had actually been a year and a half ago. I couldn't imagine it, but it was very real. My entire life had changed in a second.
I wondered if I fell back asleep, if I would wake up in another 18 months. My life would be completely different again. But I had hardly gotten used to the first change. I closed my eyes and tried to review what I had just learned.
18 month coma. Adam is still out of sight. A replacement for me named John. Shalimar is completely changed. There is a new GSA. Emma is a telepath.
I sighed. It was too much to take in. Although I had only been awake for about an hour, I started to feel extremely tired and I began to drift to sleep.
"See you 18 months ago," I whispered to myself, praying that I could wake up and tell my friends about the strange dream I had just had.
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4/24/2004, 8:33 pm
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Re: The Future is Now
Chapter 3
Muffled sobs worked their way into my dreams and I began to stir. Whoever it was, immediately shut up and I wondered if I had made it all up.
"Who's there?" I ventured, hoping somebody would answer. I didn't need paranoid on my list of problems.
Finally, a reluctant woman. "It's Shalimar. I'll leave, I was just getting something."
"What?"
"It's nothing."
I got up and blinked my eyes a few times, glad that my vision was returning to normal. Shalimar was still in the corner, clutching a small stick. Trying to focus, I realized what it was.
"Is it positive?" I asked her. She didn't answer. Instead she walked towards me and sat next to me on the bed.
"It doesn't matter," she told me. "I'm going to get rid of it anyways. I can't have a baby right now."
"Is it positive?" I repeated.
"I don't know. I haven't looked yet," she answered. "But if it is, I have to have an abortion. It wouldn't be fair to have a child right now. Everything is too uncertain. I couldn't take it."
"Yes you could," I argued gently. "Shal, you're the strongest person I know. Or I knew, anyways."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
I sighed. "Nothing," I said, but the look in her eyes told me I could never avoid this one. I took a deep breath and asked a loaded question. "What happened to you?"
"Nothing," she stated, shooting my words back at me. "I just changed as things happened."
"What things could change a passionate woman into a controlled kitty? The Shalimar I knew 18 months ago would beat the crap out of a man who so much as touched her. John yanked you offa me so hard you practically fell."
"How dare you say that!" she shouted at me. "You don't know how hard things have been on me. On all of us. We've had to deal with more since you've been gone than all the years of Mutant X combined!"
"Yeah, Emma told me. That's why you brought John in as my replacement," I commented sourly.
"Don't turn this into a pity party," she stated quietly, her voice holding more emotions than I could
understand. "You want to talk about tough times? You've been in a coma. I was raped."
My heart dropped. I could feel anger well up inside of me, the protective side of me coming out full force. Anyone who dared touch Shalimar with unjust intentions deserved to rot in hell and would if I could get my hands on them. "Who did it?" I asked, anger seething.
"He's dead now. It doesn't matter," she told me. "All you have to know is that I owe my life to John."
"Is that why you obey him?" I asked.
"That and I might be carrying his baby."
"You? And him? I don't believe this," I said, running my fingers through my hair in agitation. "I've been replaced in more ways than I thought."
Shalimar looked over at me. "What do you mean?" she asked curiously.
"You probably don't remember. It's been too long," I said, trying to make a joke. It fell flat on her and she lowered her head. I sighed, and with my fingers gently lifted her chin back up. "Shalimar, I used to- I still am- in love with you."
Her eyes widened a bit and with feral speed, she kissed me.
Suddenly, she pulled back, gasping. She quickly wiped her lips with the back of her hand, her pink lipstick blurring. "Just forget I did that," she said.
"Sorry, I can't. Liked it too much," I told her.
She held up her pregnancy test so close to my face that I went cross-eyed to read it. All seriousness, she repeated. "Forget I did that."
"I'm can't," I said again.
"God, why didn't you tell me this before?" she shouted distressed, getting off the table and facing me, her tiny frame more appealing to me than ever.
"I would have told you a few months ago, but I hear I was in a coma."
Another joke fell flat. She growled in frustration.
"Why did this have to happen?" she shouted. "I'm pregnant with another man's baby and thats when you wake up! Do you know how long I've wanted you? Do you know how hard it's been with you in a coma?"
"Yeah, I bet it was hard. But this isn't exactly a cakewalk for me either, Shalimar. I wake up one morning to find out that the woman I love is my replacement's *****!"
Shalimar slapped me hard across the face, so much fire and anger in her eyes that I thought she would explode. But although I felt horrible that she so upset, my heart literally felt broken, there was only one thought in my mind.
"That's more like it," I said, smiling a little, making my stinging face hurt worse.
She looked up at me, confused, momentarily caught off guard. "What?" she muttered.
"That's more like it," I repeated for her. "This is the Shal I knew, defending herself and not taking any crap from anyone."
I instantly knew I had penetrated something deep inside of her. Breathing heavily, she closed her eyes, small tears flowing out. She stood still, trying to deal with too many emotions at once. It felt like years until she finally opened her eyes, staring straight into me.
"You don't think I hate myself?" she whispered. "Waking up to a man on top of you in an abandoned warehouse... Brennan you can't understand having part of yourself stolen from you like that. For the first time, I was too weak. I lost. John killed him for me." She shook her head, disgusted at herself. "He told me I could repay him by having dinner with him."
For the first time, I felt more hate inside of me than I ever had towards anybody. Faceless GS agents, even Eckhart- they had all preyed on the vulnerability of New Mutants. But none of those New Mutants had just been raped and then attacked like that. And none of them had my love.
She took a deep breath, a sad attempt at calming herself, and continued. "I was so stupid! I shouldn't have gone with him to dinner. But he killed the man who did that to me. I... I couldn't say no to him after that. He's taken advantage of me so much, I hate what he's made me, but I don't even want to think about what I could have been if he hadn't killed that man."
I picked up the abandoned pregnancy test from the bed. "If he made you do this," I warned. "Shal, John might not have raped you, but it sounds like he's taken more from you than your attacker did. John's taken everything that made you Shalimar."
"I'm having his baby," she whispered. Suddenly, sobs took her and I barely had time to put my arms around her before I had to support her or she would fall to the floor. I held her while she cried, until I felt her slow down. Carefully I held her away from me.
“Who else knows?” I asked her.
“They all suspect I’m pregnant,” she told me.
“No, I mean about John and all he did to you.”
“They all do.”
I had been angry so much that day, but I felt the all too familiar feelings come up again. “Emma, Jesse, and Adam all knew, and they didn’t do anything? What has happened to this place?”
“You were kind of like our glue,” she said, returning to her position of holding me with her head on my chest. I liked how it felt there. I knew she felt safe with me and I wanted her to feel that way forever, now more than ever since I knew what she had been going through.
“It’s hard to believe that Emma and Jesse didn’t do anything about this guy, but Adam? He’s like our father.”
There was no answer.
“What happened to Adam?” I asked, not wanting to hear the answer.
“He’s gone,” she told me reluctantly. “He left three months ago.”
I started to think about what I had read yesterday on the computer screen. 15 months along, he had written his last entry in my medical file. He said he expected me to have brain damage. And he had said... what was it... “I can’t help but feel responsible for this. 27 years ago, I created his problem.” The words hit me.
“I was in the coma because I mutated again, and 15 months in, Adam thought I would never wake up and if I did I would be brain damaged. He felt guilty and he left,” I said.
“What, did you become a telepath, too?” she teased seriously.
“That doesn’t sound like Adam. He wouldn’t just give up. He would work day and night until he fixed the problem. I don’t believe that he just abandoned me, all of us. Especially if the world problems are as bad as you all have told me. A new GSA? Adam would never leave.”
“That’s what we all thought, too,” Shalimar agreed. “In some ways, he’s driven by guilt. He always tries to fix his mistakes. Giving up, well that isn’t Adam. Especially because he didn’t even say goodbye.”
“Wait, he just left? Not even a note? That really doesn’t sound like Adam.”
“No, he left us a note, a holographic projection of himself explaining that he needed to keep his head straight. He told us he might come back if he felt the need. In the mean time, we were supposed to get on with our lives."
"Well obviously you didn't," I said.
"We were going to, Jesse even packed and went apartment searching, but then the new GSA opened up and we were so busy, we could barely sleep."
"And Adam didn't 'feel the need' to come back and lead you guys?" I asked skeptically.
Shalimar's silent gaze at the floor told me all I needed to know. "There's no doctor keeping you here anymore, so do you want to go back to your room?" she asked, changing the subject.
I sighed. \People love to avoid things around here\ I thought. "Sure," I agreed, giving up.
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4/24/2004, 8:34 pm
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Re: The Future is Now
Chapter 4
"Brennan?"
I smiled at the familiar voice at the door. I turned to see Jesse, the closest thing to a brother I had ever had. Following the pattern of the last few days, he walked in and gave me a big hug.
"Sorry I haven't been around for a few days," he apologized. "I heard you've been told what's been going on around here."
"Not really," I told him. "Emma and Shalimar told me a little of it, but they're too emotional to talk for 5 minutes without crying."
"Never send a woman to do a man's job."
"Ok, then, tell me everything," I challenged.
"How do you want it?"
"Chronologically," I decided.
Jesse sat on the edge of my bed, facing the computer chair I was in. He settled back, like he was getting ready for a long explanation.
"18 months ago, Shalimar picks up this call about a girl who just escaped from a psychopath's cult, trying to sacrifice her. Adam tells her to get you. But Shal can't wake you up. Adam finally figures out that your powers have evolved while you were sleeping. He tells us the longer you're in a coma, the more brain damage you'll have and it's less likely that you'll wake up again. So for 15 months we wait. Nothing is really happening. Adam is working day and night to help you, but he's stumped. So, thinking there's nothing he can do for you, and seeing that Mutant X hasn't had a real problem since before you were in the coma, he leaves one day without telling us." Jesse paused and tried to hold back the emotions, mostly anger, associated with Adam. "He just left us, Brennan, with a stupid note. All of us had wanted to leave before, and we all felt horrible that you were in a coma, but Adam just ran away from it all. It makes me sick just thinking about him. He abandoned us, especially because not even a week after he left, a new GSA opened up. It's headed by Samuel Loftwell. He's insane."
Jesse got up and started walking around, restless. "Loftwell doesn't care about stasis or research. He just wants New Mutants dead. He's killed them with their families watching, with us watching, even little children watching. He captured Emma and tried to kill her. You should see the new subdermal governers he has now. If Eckhart's were a second in hell, Loftwell's are an eternity."
"Was Emma ok?" I asked, engrossed in our past, which sounded as if he was reading me a story. The way he said it, so evenly, with emotion and details… I almost wanted to take his memories from him and put them into me; I wanted my year and a half back. Hearing all I had missed, all the revenge I should have had, all the ass I could have kicked… it wasn't fair. And revenge is my specialty. Shal's pretty good at it, Jesse and Emma can manage when they're upset enough, and I know I did way more than revenge with Mutant X, but it was in sorts my place. I doubted anybody had done anything to the GSA after Emma was captured and almost killed. Just the thought of it, and I hadn't even had to live during it, made me angry enough to go and kill Loftwell as soon as possible.
"Emma was fine, eventually. It took her about two months," Jesse answered. "Anyways, at 16 months, Emma was back with us, the GSA was a month old, and we got another call. It was from the same girl who called about the cult in the beginning. She told us they were planning on sacrificing another New Mutant."
"John Cordova," I filled in, the anger obvious in my voice.
"What- you don't like him?" Jesse asked in mock surprise.
"Lets just say I wish he would have been sacrificed. You do?"
"Oh yeah, I love how he makes Emma and Shalimar into sexual objects created for his enjoyment and then orders them around. And I hate that Shalimar obeys him," Jesse told me.
"You and me both," I said. "We talked it over a few days ago. I can understand, but then I can't. I know she's only submissive around him, otherwise she's the same old Shal. But the old Shalimar, the Shal I know, would never let anybody boss her around. She's changed. Everything- everyone's changed."
"Even me?" Jesse asked, in fake concern, but in a little curiosity.
"I don't know yet," I answered. "I don't think so."
"How did Emma change?" Jesse asked.
"She's a telepath for one," I answered.
"That happened around the 17th month," Jesse teased.
"What else happened last month?" I asked.
He sighed, thinking about where he left off. "John became an official part of the team, after Shalimar…" he trailed off. "Brennan, did she tell you what happened?"
"Her rape?" I asked quietly, hate crawling in me.
Jesse nodded solemnly. "We all tried to help her through it, but John kept interfering with us, telling us that he had saved her, he should talk to her. It was crap, but Shalimar didn't want to talk to anybody else, so we couldn't do anything. Missions have been easier with John's help, but he's not even half as strong as you were and much less controlled."
"Hold on… as strong as I was?" I repeated, challengingly.
"You've been in a coma for 18 months, you're saying you're still as strong?" Jesse asked. I stood up. We were both wearing stupid grins, explicitly happy that everything was normal between us now, that a year and a half was nothing between brothers.
Jesse massed, the red energy surging up and down him. I concentrated on making electricity. I had been fooling around with it yesterday, but this was the first time I would have to fire it. A spark appeared between my fingers, and with everything I had, I aimed and shot at Jesse. He flew back, slamming the wall and hitting the ground. He slumped against the wall. Immediately, I ran to him.
"Jess, are you ok?" I asked, worriedly.
He groaned loudly, exaggeratedly, and opened his eyes. Rubbing his back, he mumbled. "Musta been those evolutionary changes in your powers. I haven't gotten mine yet."
"Excuses," I teased him. "I can still beat you in anything."
"Basketball," he said quickly.
I hadn't expected that; my powers were intact, but I hadn't worked out in ages. But I could never back out from a challenge. "Anytime," I challenged.
We looked at each other for all of a second before scrambling to the basketball court.
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4/24/2004, 8:35 pm
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Re: The Future is Now
Chapter 5
***Brennan woke up last week! I still can hardly believe it. It feels like so much has been piling up and it felt so good to talk to Brennan. It's helped so much. He was there when I found out for sure I was pregnant. This might sound crazy, but while we were talking, I couldn't help but wish it was his baby and not John's. I wish this baby were anybody's but John's. He's just going to use this to control me even more, but now he has a real physical reason. I wish Brennan had woken up a few months earlier. So far, he's made me realize how much I've changed and I hate it more and more. He's kind of like a mirror into my past. If he had woken up sooner, I would have had the strength to break up with John.***
I slowly closed Shalimar's diary and looked up at her. She was sitting curled up on the bed, hugging her knees close to her body, and crying silently. She had asked me to read her last entry, so I would know better how she felt.
"What's stopping you from breaking up with John?" I asked her. Emma and Jesse hadn't been able to get her to realize she could get out. If she didn't break up with him she would hate herself forever. That meant it was up to me because she sure as hell wasn't going to do it by herself.
"I'm pregnant."
"Besides that," I urged.
She remained silently, thinking. I knew she was searching her head for an excuse. "I have to," she said finally.
"You're lying. You don't have to do anything," I argued.
"He saved me!" she shouted.
"He's killing you!" I shouted back.
"What am I supposed to do?" she whispered. "I'm pregnant. I can't just leave like I could have a few weeks ago.
"Sure you can. John doesn't deserve to have your kid."
"John doesn't deserve to get kicked out of Mutant X either," she argued. "One of us would have to leave."
"Why not you?" I asked suddenly.
She smiled a little, and then started laughing. "Brennan! I can't leave! I'm going to have a baby and there's no way I could get a job and find a house and-"
"I'll go with you."
She stopped laughing as quickly as she had begun and stared shocked at me. "You would do that? For me?"
"I would do anything for you." I got up and sat down next to her on the bed. Gently, I reached out my hand and stroked her soft cheek. She closed her eyes and smiled. I ran my fingers through her hair and leaned in close.
"Brennan…" she sighed, putting her hand over mine and stopping it. "We can't do this."
"Why not?"
"Because it can never go anywhere. And I don't want to screw up our friendship."
I had to make her understand how I felt. Without hesitation, I whispered, "I love you."
She pulled back sharply and I searched her eyes for answers. She was looking directly behind me. My blood ran cold and I knew exactly who was behind me.
"Go on, Shal. Do you love him?" John asked, his voice like death.
"John…"
"Do you love him?" he shouted again, walking in. He grabbed Shalimar's shoulders and threw her back on the bed.
I had never felt such anger. I lunged for him and tackled him to the ground.. He was easily pinned down. "Don't ever touch her again," I growled.
"She's mine. I'll do what I want," John snarled back.
"I could kill you."
"Stop!" Shalimar screamed. I looked in her direction, but tried not to loose focus on keeping John pinned to the floor. But Shalimar's cry distracted me too much and John, taking advantage of it, pushed me off and in one jump, was across the bed on Shalimar's side.
"You might have been the elemental 18 months ago, but now its me. I've been part of Mutant X while you've been in a freaking coma! You can't just wake up and take it all away!"
"Hey! I didn't ask for this!" I shouted. "And you took it away from me first!"
"Some things you never had." John stood posed over Shalimar like a mad scientist over his creation. He was breathing hard, his hand clenched in a fist over her. "Shalimar's mine," he growled lowly.
"You can't own her! She's her own person!" I shouted angrily.
"No. I own her and I can do whatever I want," he said. The way he said it scared me. \What's he going to do?\ I wondered, frantically, confused. "And to prove it-"
I never thought he would hurt Shalimar physically and apparently neither did she, because before she could react, John slammed his fist straight into her stomach. The bed bounced with the force. She lay on the bed, too still for my liking. She was still conscious- tears were flowing out of her eyes- but why wasn't she fighting back? Why wasn't she moving?
The anger welled inside of me, my heart was racing, and all I could think about was what he had done to Shalimar. She wasn't ok; he had hurt her. I could almost feel her pain, raw emotion was running through both of us.
And there was only one cause.
"You're an elemental. You took my spot on Mutant X. You tried to destroy the woman I love. You almost tore us apart. But you know what?"
John's eyes narrowed and mockingly shrugged.
"You messed with the wrong team. My team."
I threw out my hand and pure white electricity sparked between my fingers then leapt at John. It surrounded him and he was raised up into the air, shaking, and then slammed into the back wall. He slid down and sat slumped over, his hair fried and his fingers still twitching. John Cordova was dead.
But I could care less at the moment. There was only one name on my mind.
"Are you okay?" I asked, kneeling on the bed next to Shalimar. She stared straight up, past me, past the ceiling, past the whole world. We sat like that for a long time, but it didn't matter. Shalimar was worth all the time in the world.
How beautiful her eyes, her strong body, and her delicate lips were, I didn't know why I had never looked at her before like this. I loved her the same as always, but something in her was different. She finally looked over at me and I suddenly knew what it was. Her walls were down and her true feelings were finally showing. And in her eyes was the same emotion held in mine.
"I love you," she whispered.
Then she closed her eyes and slipped away.
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4/24/2004, 8:36 pm
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Nalaniangel24
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Re: The Future is Now
Chapter 6
Is this how she had felt waiting for me? Was this a revenge she was enacting? She had fallen in love with me and then I fell into a coma. Then I had fallen in love with her and now she was in a coma? Did she want to show me how it felt to know that your love might never wake up?
I walked around the Sanctuary in a daze. Jesse and Emma tried to talk to me, but they soon learned all I wanted to hear about was Shalimar. She was the only thing on my mind, yet I couldn't bear thinking about her or seeing her lying in her bed. Nothing affected me anymore.
Jesse and I had played basketball the first week she was in a coma. He had beaten me, then I had beaten him. Literally. Something about loosing one more thing set me off. I tackled him to the ground and punched him in the face over and over again. I couldn't feel a thing from my hand hurting my brother to Emma pulling me off and slapping my face. I couldn't hear their words to me, either. It was as if they were speaking underwater.. Jesse told me later that Emma had been yelling like crazy, but stopped when she saw the dead look in my eyes. They both forgave me of course.
Dead is how I felt. Shalimar wasn't there, I wasn't there, and its how I knew she and I were really truly connected.
And that’s how I knew she had woken up, too. Because at the same moment, I woke up.
I raced into the med lab as she opened her eyes.
"What happened?" she whispered, reaching out a hand towards me. I grabbed it and firmly held it against my heart as I sat down next to her bedside.
"That bastard Cordova," I told her. "When he punched you, he sent electricity through you. I didn't see it, but he did. It put you in a coma somehow. Without Adam… We don't know the technicalities, but now that you're awake, it doesn't really matter." I kissed our clasped hands and started to cry. "Shal, I thought I lost you."
"Now you know how it feels," she whispered.
"You should know how I feel too," I told her. "You're missing two weeks of your life."
She smiled weakly. "You didn't replace me, did you?"
"You're irreplaceable." I kissed her again tenderly. "It's been so hard without you. I love you so much."
"John," she suddenly questioned, sitting up. "What happened?"
My wince was unmistakable. "He died."
"You killed him," Shalimar rephrased.
"You could say that. But he killed you first."
She smiled again. I can't describe the joy that rushed through me every time I made her smile. "I'm going to try and change that. I promise, Brennan. I'll be back to my old self," she promised.
"I don't want you to," I told her. She looked up at me shocked, begging an explanation. "I know it's what I wanted, what I thought was best, but it wasn't. I don't even understand it now. All I know is that the moment before you slipped into a coma, you were different. You were you for once. You weren't safeguarding yourself anymore. Not from John or from me or anyone. You were completely you. I don't care if you're not the same as I remember you 18 months ago. I just want you to be you."
Shalimar laughed a little through tears. "I can do that," she whispered happily. She sat up and kissed me slowly, but suddenly pulled back. "Wait… what about the baby?"
I hated telling her, but I did anyways. "John killed it when he hit you," I admitted. "He didn't know you were pregnant or that he was killing your baby… but he did."
I didn't get the reaction I was expecting. "So I'm John free?" she asked. "No more John, no more baby, no nothing?"
"You're taking this better than I thought," I told her.
"Don't get me wrong, I am sad, but the thought of raising John's child with John wasn't all that exciting, even though I really wanted to be a mom and have a child."
"Aww what's wrong with John? I'm sure he would have been a great disciplinarian," I teased sarcastically with a huge smile on my face.
"I'm sure our kids would have been our personal army," she said, kissing me again. "But he wasn't the man I loved."
"And who would that be?" I asked.
"Shuddup," she whispered sweetly, wrapping her arms around me and drawing me into a passionate kiss.
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